[paige100]

i just wanted to tell the ending of my story. After I had heard that A didn't want the visit, it took me all of 2 minutes to decide to call her, and about a week to get the courage to do it. We talked for a long while, and for the first time in 11 months, this whole thing finally made sense. It isn't about who gets what title or who is more important, it is about Libby. This precious little girl that we both love more than anything. I didn't make those promises of visits and contact to A, I made them to Libby. I finally get it. I was so busy trying to be her one and only that I lost sight of what she means to me. No one will ever change the way I feel about this little princess, I love her more than anything. I felt like the smallest most terrible person in the world for placing my original post. Loving Libby means wanting the best for her, no matter what. The best news of this whole situation comes in the form of a beautiful silver frame that is now sitting on Libby's dresser. It contains a picture of an 11 month old angel with the two happiest women in the world...her mommies...the visit was perfect....

[Shoshana]

dear paige:

please quit beating yourself up over the first post. your insight, change of heart, and willingness to acknowledge those changes is truly wonderful. it takes much soul searching, strength, and courage to have such a profound change of heart. and that makes you a blessing.

i'm happy the visit went well!

[riley6]

You didn't express anything in your first post that many other mommies haven't felt. The beauty of your situation is that you gave us a window into your soul and we got to watch it be transformed. Believe me, it happened to me too.

When I first got into foster/adopting, I had this vision of what bmom's were like and how they felt. I started going on line to forums such as this one and discovered the women on line were nothing like I had imagined bmom's were. I was then able to open my heart to my fc's bmoms and understood better what some of them were feeling. That spilled over to how I related to my fc (which as you indicated are the IMPORTANT ones in the whole scenerio).

I'm so happy that the visit went well. That picture will be priceless in the future to your daughter. Did you leave the door open for future visits?

[GE_Glows]

Oh Paige, don't beat yourself up. You are a warm and loving person, and Libby's so blessed to have you as her mommy. I only wish my own amom would be so open as I know she and my bmom could be great friends if she could just get past her fear.

Thank-you for allowing us to watch your heart show how beautiful it really is.

Blessing to you, A, and Libby

Toby

[iss36]

HI paige,
I am so happy the visit went well. . you are a wonderful person and wonderful mommy.

I would love to chat with you. sometime. please send me an email.

What city are you in.I am inthe indianapolis area.

Kim in indiana

please email me

[PinkRibbon]

Your post brought me to tears. I think Libby is so very lucky to have you as a mom. It's really hard to change your thinking about something so personal. I think you will feel better about things as will Libby when she's old enough to understand.

[amom4life]

Paige,
I love happy beginnings thanks for sharing yours!

I hope you won't be a stranger around here!
Judy

[tobeafamily]

Paige,

Remember, it was because of this place that you reflected, and learned, and experienced the joy and peace that those of us who have gone before you also found. So, no coincdences. Some day you'll see someone in exactly the same place as you, and you too will tell them to go forward despite those fears and dread, and learn that through love great things are possible.

:-)

Regina, Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

Paige,

You did nothing wrong with posting your feelings. Because of it you learned something a whole quicker then others may have in years. Not only that, others may have learned also.

I hope you enjoy your daughter and find continued peace in your situation.

Best wishes,
Donna

[HappyMomAnna]

Paige---your raw and honest feelings and willingness to share them has been a value to many people here. Thank you for returning and updating everyone on how things are going. There was nothing wrong with your original post and it only proves that this process is filled with emotions on all sides of the issue....

You are a good mommy and you will find the balance and it is awesome to see another mother join the club of doing what is right for our children even though we need to put aside our own emotions and feelings sometimes during the process. Raising your child will include this eacat activity many times over and the healthiest childhoods inculde parents who are willing to put the childs needs--desires and dreams ahead of our own....I am so glad you have returned here and wish you the best peace of mind!

[MkMw]

I'm glad your visit went so well!