[rebeccasusan]

Hey this isnt really a "support thing, but i found it interesting and didnt see any posts on it. Did anyone watch the Friends episode Thurs., where Monica and Chandler met the birthparents, ? I know it was meant to be funny, but they are doing a pretty bad job at representing adoption so far imho. What did others think?

[mom2alex]

This is the post I placed on another BB
__________________________________________________ __

Thought they hit on A LOT of great points. My s-i-l called me midway through and asked if I was furious about the whole lying bit. I was pretty sure that they were going to turn it around so I wasn't too concerned. I also told her that although few, if any, of us would take it that far...they are thoughts I'm sure most of us have had. It is very tempting to try to be "what you think a bmom is looking for" instead of just being yourself. I thought Monica represented what goes through most of our heads and Chandler represented the voice of reason.

I give to two thumbs up and am anxious to see how it all pans out.

[susanlowman]

I saw the episode and found it "interesting". I am doing foster-to-adopt (parents not available/otherwise detained), so I have never met the birthparents. I could not relate to the reality of "Friends" or not, just didn't seem real to me. I agree that is was funny and touching (isn't that what tv is meant to be). It would be nice if every hopeful couple could adopt as quickly and easily as Monica/Chandler.

Hoping everyone gets the family of their DREAMS this year.....Good Luck

[mckenna]

hi rebecca, i was wondering the same think, why there had not been any posts about this last episode, however, as you and i usually agree, i thougt they did a pretty good job.

i especiallly liked the beginning part where they were trying to explain that this was not a sure thing but all the friends were already naming the baby. i also liked when monica explained why she kept lying. while most people liked the chandler speach to the pbmom, i found that kind of sappy.

guess we will have to agree to disagree on this one (ha, ha) talk to you later

[melon161]

It's not meant to be reality, it's a SIT-COMM. Not reality tv.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Everyone knows that friends isn't real.


Stacy

[rebeccasusan]

Yes, I agree that I thought Chandlers speech, etc. was very touching, but I just didnt like it that they showed them initially misrepresenting themselves...Then after Chandlers 1minute speech, the bmom was just like, sure, Ill pick you....Im not a bmom, but I know the women we have worked with agonized over these decsions, and I dont think it would be easy to trust someone who had misrepresented themselves like one second before.

I know it is just a show, and it really is meant to be a comedy, and its a pretty serious subject, so Im sure it is hard to create scenarios. It just had my hubby and I going, "Oh, gimme a break!"when she went ahead and chose them after that!

[rebeccasusan]

one more thing, yes, I totally agree, it is a sit-comm, point taken...like what comedy does represent real life really, but it does reach so many people, i think shows like this do shape people's real opinions on stuff. The average person wouldnt read a book on adoption, but they watch friends regularly.

Im not really complaining, I think its cool that they are showing the adoption process, I just thought that whole misrepresentation thing was a little bizarre.

[dadfor2]

wow, is there a HIT TV show out there saying the word "adoption"......bring it on!!

actually, i am not a big 'friends' fan since they started dating each other....kinda got to dramatic for me for a comedy, but since the adoption stuff, i kinda have been watching it on and off.

i did see the episode. I liked it. realisitc, no, ...lol....but then they would have to do another season, and there wasnt enough time, plus who would watch the show if we just saw them sit there sitting by the phone for months at a time....lol. I dont think that would be very funny.

anyway, the thing is, let the word adoption be a household name.....this is a major hit tv sitcom where millions of people watch. I found that they are showing the more positive signs of adoption then the negative.

Plus, there might be other families out there who watch the show, and say "hey honey, maybe we should adopt"

lets get these kids out of foster homes and into permanant families, thats what i say, get the word out there. Kids need homes.

dadfor2

[Soccer Mom]

I too was excited to see a hit tv show have an adoption story line. I thought last weeks episode was fantastic. I don't support lying but I think it was meant to show the desperation that they were feeling and to put a funny spin on it. After all, it is a sitcom.
I have always been a fan of the show and am excited to see how it plays out.

[redhedded]

Don't watch anymore for at least 2 seasons - just because it is really not funny. But still love that Chandler!

[stacyone]

I read several entertainment articles that said they had to keep re-shooting some scenes with the pbmom because they were too heavy -- had the cast & crew crying. They shot it several times, trying to make it funnier... I guess I'm glad to know that at one point they took it seriously!

Yeah, they might not represent it the way the Hallmark channel would, but it's getting the word out. I've had a couple of people at work ask me how my situation compared to theirs, so it's got people thinking.

[bromanchik]

What I find really interesting is that on all the birthmother boards I am on The vest majority have hated it...vehemently hated it. They found the lying appaling and the portrayal of the birthmother unflattering. They also saw Chandler's little speech coercive. Hmmm.

[BrandyHagz]

As a birthmother, I saw it for just what it was, entertainment.

I enjoy catching Friends when I can catch a minute to sit down, and I was glad to at least see adoption portrayed in a not-so-lifetime-TV fashion.

[Jensboys]

I second Brenda's opinion but I am an adoptive parent. Yes it spread the word adoption "out there" but HOW? How did it do ANYTHING to change misconceptions? Who here has dealt with stupid misconceptions based on mis-info from the media.

Any agency that operated like that would have its directors arrested. Any adoptive couple that lied like that would be barred from adopting again. Can you imagine the social worker trying to do their home study after a lie like that ... ???? What if the prespective birthmom had chosen them based on the lies???? Monica didnt even GET that ... it took Chandler telling the truth ... Monica didnt want to and wouldnt of. She was happy with the lies. So she has processed her infertility how exactly? She is going to love that baby MORE? why because she lied to be able to parent it? She is willing to deceive the woman entrusting her with the most precious thing possible - a child??? AND JUSTIFIED IT????

I am sorry but as an adoptive parent I was just sick watching it. The speech, although charming, was coercive and do you know ANYONE who would buy it? Much less a woman possibly choosing parents for her child?

And ok, the whole agency line "we promise complete anonimity" thing combined with a line later on about "lets sign the open adoption agreement" line are incompatible.

I know its a sitcom but a show would never be allowed to do a show with that much mis-information about gay and lesbian issues or about race issues, why should mis-info about adoption be funny?

[melon161]

Originally posted by Jensboys
I know its a sitcom but a show would never be allowed to do a show with that much mis-information about gay and lesbian issues or about race issues, why should mis-info about adoption be funny?

I'd just like to ask if you've ever seen Will and Grace? Do you honestly think that is a true representation of Gay and Lesbian couples all over the world. Come on, lighten up.

Stacy