[stacyone]

Okay, so, I'm really understanding how people end up having kids about 3 years apart. Our dd is 21 months old and the light of our lives. I'm now looking at baby shoes, etc, and getting the "Awwwww..." feeling. I swear, it's an actual physical tug on the uterus. I just feel like it went so darn FAST!!!

DH won't even discuss the possibility... he is convinced that he could never love another child the way he loves our dd, and if he did, it would be taking something away from her. I've tried to tell him that if that were true, the world would be full of only children.

Our daughter's bmom is pregnant again and... I don't know... I just want another one! I've decided to pray about it and ask that if it's not God's will for us to adopt again, He would remove the desire from my heart.

It's challenging, because our first adoption happened so differently from other people's (private, identified adoption) that I feel like it was God's will, you know? I mean, it sort of just happened to us when we weren't even looking for it.

I've also gone back to college and I know I'd have to take at least one semester off to deal w/a newborn.

[spaypets]

DD is just over 2 and has been home 8 months. DH and I have talked about it a couple of times and we definitely don't want another. The only reason I can think of is getting to choose another name, and frankly, that's not good enough.

Don't get me wrong. We adore our daughter and she's so good and fun. But that's the problem. I can't imagine we'd be so fortunate to have another problem-free child who is so suited for our home. And having a child, even a very well-behaved child, is hard work. Really hard. I just don't think we have the fortitude to take on another, at least not now, and by the time she's old enough so we won't think that way, we'll have aged out of most of the international programs.

I probably ought to add that we have two LARGE dogs too, so our home is quite busy and full.

[HappyTwinsMom]

When we brought our twin daughters home, we were absolutely convinced they would be our only children. We batted around the idea of baby #3 off and on for almost two years before we decided to go ahead. We're currently on the waiting list with our adoption agency and it just feels right. I think it's like being in love...you know when you know! Sounds simple, but it's not.

[clurock]

In my personal experience. I was not prepared...that is to say I didn't think that I was. I kept having a feeling like we were supposed to adopt again...I kept ignoring it! Finally after quite a few months I gave in to the idea of calling a few local agencies to get information. However, I was clear that we were looking to adopt in a year! Three days later one agency called and told me they felt like they were suppposed to call our family! We researched the child and both felt like we were supposed to adopt. Our oldest was barely 13 months.

Needless to say, GOD knows best! Baby #2 is a perfect fit!!!!

[clurock]

I forgot to add we have 2 LARGE dogs and 3 cats that live in the house also.... Our house is REALLY full, but I wouldn't change a thing!

[blessed with 2]

I have to agree that you just know! We always knew we wanted 2, but it doesn't have to be that way. When you say that your dd's bmom is pregant again, is she keeping the baby or placing him/her? You didn't mention, so if she is keeping the baby, it might just be stirring up that feeling that it is time for you to add to your family. I know when my daughter was 2 and everyone I knew who had a child her age was pregnant again, I felt like this clock was ticking and we were losing a race or something! It seems silly written down, but it was a real emotion. I would suggest your DH talk to friend who have more than 1 child. Especially if they felt the same way at first. I would just keep the communication open and one of your opinions will most likely change. I hope so anyway! That being said, if your dd's bmom decides (or is already planning) to place this baby and would like to place with you, then I would speed up the talks with DH a bit more. Not to say that genetics are everything (obviously!!!) but it would be nice to have the siblings together. I really feel like we are done, but I know if our agency ever called and said James' bmom was placing again and wanted the baby with us, I would have to really rethink things!! Just my thoughts!!

[stephaniemlou]

Our son was the exact same age when we decided it was time to do it all again. I was so baby crazy again, too, and it really does feel like a tug for me, too. The pbmom is due in two weeks with a girl, and we can't wait. We're in our late 30's, so maybe that has something to do with doing it again so soon, but we were both ready to do it even sooner, but we waited until J was 2.

All that rambling means- you just know.

[MkMw]

well, I've always wanted my kids to be close in age - and sure enough the first 2 are! (twins) They are 18 months old and I'd like to adopt again sometime between this spring and their next birthday.....we actually have our homestudy paperwork nearly all filled out again. I think at 3 we'll be done ALTHOUGH everyone keeps telling me that if we have three kids we might as well have 4

Besides the "plan" I've found myself wanting to hold newborns again, noticing how tiny they are, and finding excuses to go to Babies 'R Us even though we are decidly into the toddler stage. Also - it is sooooooo cute how the boys see a baby, point get that big grin and say "BABY!" so I guess they are ready to be big brothers too!

[Sylvester]

We adopted our first in 1998, I just knew we would eventually have another one. Our second was born in 2001, they are exactly three years apart. Our second placement was rough on everyone, we said we were done!!! After just a couple of months I started having that feeling again, we are planning on adopting again in about a year or two. I think in adoption you have to be more proactive then just saying we are going to stop using birth control and see what happens. In our case anyway we have to plan for a third, pay off some bills etc. I think if you have any doubt in your mind or heart about having another child, don't. Kids are apart of you forever.

[tlee70]

Hi there

I have a 17month old daughter and my dh and I are just looking at having another baby shortly. I had to really take a good hard look at having another child due to complications with my previous pregnancies and also there is other medical concerns that need to be addressed.

I just wanted to tell you that one of the reasons that we have decided to forge ahead with baby #2 is because of baby #1!! I was once told by an "only child" that they felt a heavy burden to always be "careful" as she was her parents "only" child. Also, she expressed a feeling of loneliness growing up as she never had any siblings to play with or share in her family experiences (you know..memories of your siblings as children). Now, this is just one experience, and I'm sure that there are many that have grown up as an "only" child that may not have those feelings, but it's something to consider.

The other thing that really made my mind up about having another child was so that when my dh and I are "gone", our children will still feel like they have a "close" family connection. Even though mom and dad are gone, they still have thier sibling.
Having said that, many unexpected things happen in life that we don't have control over and we can only try and do what's best for our life plan.

One other "small" factor in having another child for me was the fact that I have already lost one child. He passed away when he was eleven (like I said, we don't have control over many things) and I guess somehow I believe that having 2 children will appease my fear that I will have no children when I am old. I know it sounds crazy, but it was a small thought in the back of my mind.

Hope this helps, this is just some of the reasons why I myself decided on a second child, despite the risks AND the fear of parenting 2 children lol.

tlee