[melon161]

Over Christmas we were at my aunts and our conversation turned to the show "The Simple Life". Well, we started talking about Nicole and I said that she was Lionel Ritchies daughter and my cousin felt the need to immediately inform me that she was his, "ADOPTED Daughter". So I said, "so, who cares, she's still his daughter." and my cousin returned saying that no, she was his ADOPTED daughter.

This is coming from my cousin who's sister is adopted by their dad. So I said, "Well, do you go around announcing that Shannon is your dad's ADOPTED daughter? and when I adopt kids are you going to introduce them as my ADOPTED Children?"

She said no and felt a little sheepish and I told her I didn't mean to get upset but she should watch what she says, she doesn't know who's she around and there could be people there that are adopted. Also I told her I just wanted to make her aware of what she was saying.

Anyway, just wanted to tell that story, I'm glad I made her understand what she said could be hurtful.

Stacy

[Xanny]

Good for you, Stacy! If we don't advocate for our children, who will?

I'm also glad that you were able to educate your cousin without alienating her. We all have days when we want to be snide and make people feel as stupid as they sound, but I think your way is preferable.



Xanny

[susanlowman]

'Way to go....I get really confused when people insist on making it know they my children are "adopted" children....just introduce them as Susan's children -- Darrell, Amber, Corbin & Carley

most people don't really care if someone is adopted or not

[amom4life]

Good for you Stacy!

[redsparrow]

Good for you for educating her.

Adoption is HOW my child came to me, but he is not my adopted son. He's my son.

[yasta]

Hurrah for you and your soon to be child !!

I can learn from you !! My sister n law (DH's sister) insists on introducing our kids as " Oh these are my brother's and his wife's kids, they adopted them as babies aren't they cute ?"

Needless to say they are not allowed to visit her until she is throughly educated by DH. We only see them once every 1-2 years.

I will put my foot down if DH doesn't do it the next time we visit !!

It's encouraging to hear how other parents dealt with uneducated people on adoption. Maybe she is a bit jealous of her Dad and her sister's relationship.

Anyway Kudos to you!!

Yasta

[redhedded]

The next time she visits, I would introduce her children (if she has any) as "the ones that came after a very lengthy labor and ugly episiotomy." heehee If not applicable, I would think of another one liner. While I believe that it sometimes takes humor and dramatic language to make your point, my husband would encourage me to nicely ask them to make reference only to our children and nothing else.

[qs mom]

I never much gave it alot of thought, but my extended family often points out that my son is adopted from Bulgaria.

We've only been together for 6 months, so I think I'll write it off to the 'newness' or 'novelty' of it. But if it continues in a couple months, I'll have to say something.

My one aunt is soo excited. She actually received an adopted nephew (my son) and and adopted niece (her husband's niece adopted a newborn domestically) within just a month or so of each other.

I myself am still so excited, that I often tell people about how happy I am and that my son is adopted. Everyone I met knew that this would be my 3 year old's first Christmas. I'm sure people couldn't care less. But I let them know anyway!

[melon161]

redheaded, your answer killed me. LOL, I would love to use that if she had kids but she doesn't so I'll remember it for when she does. (*Stashing it away in the ole' memory bank.) LOL That was hillarious, I wish I could think of something that fast and that funny. LOL

Stacy

[redhedded]

Sometimes I can be rather caustic. I have lots of them ready to roll off of my tongue; unfortunately (or probably fortunately) I have to also stash them in the mind, as my Zen husband does not often appreciate my sarcasm directed at strangers. I have found the people will say and ask ANYTHING; sometimes rudeness must be met with something to shock 'em. You can be sure they will think twice next time.