[angelical]

OMG! We got THE CALL! We are being interviewed next week for the sib group of 3 who are from our county.

I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharel

[lambeausam]

Best wishes to you!!!!

[GreenThumb]

Sharel,

That is so great! I'm really happy for you!

If things go as hoped, how quickly could placement happen?

[happymom12]

Sharel,


Congratulations! God Bless!

I'm brand new to this forum stuff and adoption as well. After you turned in your paperwork how long did you have to wait until you received a class date? Then how long before you had to wait until you were called for an interview?

[amom4life]

Hi Sharel,
Congratulations! Are you the only ones being interviewed for these siblings?

If all works out with everyone how long until they get to come home?

Will be praying for you all!
Judy

[angelical]

Okay, let me answer everyone's questions as best I can....

I have no idea how many others they are interviewing, or how soon placement could be.

Since we have been qualified as foster parents AND they are in our county, it is possible that placement could happen quickly.

We met our SW in June, finished the paperwork, training, and homestudy in late August, and have been searching ever since. We found out about this group two weeks ago.

Thanks for everyone's support. It is gonna be a LONG week.

Sharel

[cathy102]

How exciting!!! I sure hope this will be a match for you!!

Cathy

[HappyMomAnna]

I don't know how your state works---in ours three families go to what they call commitee and a bunch of caseworkers and non-involved people sit down and decide which family will have the children placed......talk about stressing out! The commitee meeting was Held on the morning of December 18 and we were beside ourselves.....for a week before it.
We couldn't start the transition until after Christmas (which to be honest errked me--after all I wanted to have Christamas with MY kids---but, it really wasn't fair to the Foster Family to have the stress of transistion right at Christams--or the missing children from the family---I forced myself to understand...)
Anyway--we got home on January 10 with our kids....Ironically, the attorney called today---our adoption will finalize and it looks like it might actually happen on December 18! WOW.

Wishing you the best on your interview---and hold on to your socks.....

[angelical]

Thanks everyone! The waiting is gonna drive me crazy.

Anna, yes, I believe that's how it works here too... with committee etc. I don't know how many other families they are considering but I imagine they will have to do something like that for this too.

A friend of mine (who is a foster parent) thinks that the fact that they invited our SW to the meeting is a good sign.

So, we'll see. If we don't die of nerves before then, that is!

Sharel

[Support2Adopt]

Wow Sharel! That's great! How old are they?
JJ

[angelical]

Deep breath...........They are 11, 10, and 7!

For the past day, I have been going through cycles of happiness, worried, scared, thrilled, nervous, disbelieving, happy, happy, happy, planning, thinking, hoping, scared......

you get the picture!

The great thing is that, for the most part, the kids are in great shape. There is no diagnosis or suspicion of RAD in any of them; they do well in school; they are healthy; and they have healthy attachments to each other (the girls are bonded strongly to each other) and to their foster families.

I know that nothing is perfect, and if we are chosen, we will have a tough road to go on in many aspects, but overall, I am very happy with the situation with these kids.

SIX DAYS left until the interview. ARGH!

[pgecco]

WOW...sooooooooo excited for you! We are being included in the staffing (one of the families being picked from) this Friday. Around here the social worker collects all interested families' home studies and chooses which ones to be concidered by a committy (staffing). Last month we were the only family they had heard from and they were going to wait 3 to 4 months for a staffing. I whimpered and they said "we know, perhaps we can do it sooner" suddley it is this Friday. I don't know how many have applied but we are still excited! We did foster a sibling group of 3 very little boys to get us ready for what it would be like to have kids out of foster care in our home. It tought us a lot but honestly we were thier first (and only) foster placement (they went "home")., and like you we are looking at an older group (11,7,6, & 1). I can't wait to see how things go for you. Please keep me posted as you are the first person I've seen in roughly the same boat (1st time adoption and getting older siblings)

[HappyMomAnna]

Yes, I have the picture---looks a lot like my scrapbook!

They do sound like some great kids! And I actually love these ages. And no indication of attachment problems is a big plus because by these ages it would be much easier to tell......If they are saying no signs then it is a whole lot more reassuring at this age then if they were telling you this about a 5-year old that's for sure!

Of course transition is always full of UP's and down's and longer then we the adults can usually believe!

Before you have your interview I would study up on all the details about these kids ages---like the school in your area that they will attend, and different activities locally.... Look around the neighborhood and figure out how many kid's are around for friendships---maybe get some details about your local Girl Scouts, and other clubs the kids might have interest in.....That way at the interview you will have a big list of all the different possible stuff they might like to do---that will show the interviewer's that you are already planning for them beyond the point of simply getting them.

Point out any cousins or other family members that might be in the same age groups. Any possible experiences you have had with these ages...and what you hope to have as your home environment and. Expectations of allowance, and tasks you might expect...

I have noticed that often it is the smallest details that swing a vote our way...... Sometimes the committees are looking at several families who are all but, equal and it can be the oddest--smallest thing that pulls your family out of the pile. We were told that one of the most minor details about our family was the fact the birthmom was a musician and the fact my children played the Sax and Flute made our family 'seem more' supportive of children with genetic links to music!?! Of all the things to swing a vote who would have ever thought a stinking SAX would be part of it?

Some families focus so hard on the actual steps for the placement that they don't appear to be looking at the real issues of bringing the children home.....thinking that far ahead will give the committee an indication that you are already considering the reality of life once they are placed.

Sometimes you are allowed to write a letter and specifically address the children in question....When this is possible people who take any info they have about the children and provide an outline of your way to approach those needs is a real step forward. Even something as simple as knowing how to help a little girl do her hair can be a plus......That was another little thing that caused out committee to swing our way--my birth daughter has hair past her rear-end and so does the little girl we adopted!
In fact the committee was astounded by how much my daughter resembled the little girl we wanted to adopt---they felt our new daughter would have something in common with her big sister---really super long brown hair.

Whatever you do to identify with these specific children will pull you in front of the pack! So take all the info you do have and draw out any single possible thing about your life that is even close to something that relates to these children....... All the families who are interviewed will want them equally---so the key is to demonstrate you are the right family for these children--not how much these children are the right kid's for you....that will go a long way in your interview.

Good luck! This is the single most stressful part of the whole ordeal----until the honeymoon ends that is!

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by angelical
[b]Deep breath...........They are 11, 10, and 7!

For the past day, I have been going through cycles of happiness, worried, scared, thrilled, nervous, disbelieving, happy, happy, happy, planning, thinking, hoping, scared......


I think this is very normal. You're looking at the possibility of a huge life change, not to mention being responsible for three children.
JJ

[Lorraine123]

Angelical -

Our foster-adopt daughter is from PA. We did not go to comittee. Her caseworker gathered all the home studies and then did phone interviews and choose from there. She said she received about 70 homestudies for my daughter. The fact that we were the choosen family out of that many still astonds me.

Anna is correct in that its the small things that make a big difference. In our case, we saw our daughter on the PA web site and called the worker to inquire. When she called back, DH and I were both home. My DH told her to wait until I got on an extension before telling anything about her. The worker said she took that as a sign that we work together well as a team.... In reality my DH just didn't want to have to repeat everything and answer my endless questions. Kind of weird.

Once we learned more about her, we faxed the worker all kinds of info saying why we were the best family. We made sure she was aware of our experience advocating in the school system, let her know that we had already found therapists for RAD, etc. That way she knew we were ready to jump in with everything in place. You really have to sell yourself.

Good luck.