[goin'batty]

Boy, have I got a story that just ticks me off. As a bunch of you know, my partner and I are matched and awaiting the birth of a baby boy at the end of March/begining of April. I work for a county agency that has no problems with me using my sick time to get paid FMLA time. My partner just submitted her request for unpaid leave today. She works for a bank that has less than 50 employees so the FMLA does not apply to them. She didn't think that this would be a big issue since one of the bank officers is an adoptive mom. They actually told her today that someone else is scheduled off during that time so she can't take any time off. Apparently they have a rule that no two people can be off at the same time, but the bank manager and head teller took off at the same time this summer to go on vacation together!

It's just upsetting to see how deferently adoption can be treated by some people. If she were pregnant, there would be no doubt that time off would be authorized as it has been for others. It's even more upsetting that a fellow adoptive mom is going along with this. I mean really, she's given them 4 months notice to find a temporary. I've told her to tell them that she will not be back to work at all after the baby comes home. I don't make a lot of money, but I'll be d*mned if she's going to miss the birth of her son and bonding time with him because of some ignorant fool's idea of what adoption is. Aaargh!!

Thanks for letting me vent.
Lori

[33458]

It will be interesting to see how the institution responds when she tells them what option they've left her with...

[DianeS]

So would I.

In the meantime, if she chooses not to quit working for them, would it be possible for her to request her leave time to begin after yours ends? (I'm assuming you were hoping to both be home with baby at the same time, but you may have already thought of this.) Then it'd be twice the at-home time before he needs to begin daycare, and he gets extra one-on-one time with each of you. Not what you wanted, I'm sure, but something to think about as an option to quitting.

I sure hope they change their minds, though! Can she appeal to the adoptive mother off company time? If any "paternity" type leave has ever been taken by anyone, could she appeal that this is the same thing (she's not giving birth, but the baby is hers nonetheless)? Or maybe she can talk to the person who is already scheduled for vacation - not to give her a guilt trip, but to see if it's possible for her to trade that vacation time for a different time? It never hurts to ask, at least.

[redhedded]

How ridiculous! Is the Bank Manager trying to make a personal statement about your adoption situation? Is there a supervisor that could be contacted regarding the importance of this time? If so, I would encourage it and in writing using other employee leave examples. Although this small agency is not required to conform to Federal Leave standards, would they deny her the opportunity to care for a terminal parent or sibling? I would submit the intention to take leave in writing and assume that the time is approved. Would they terminate her if she did so? This is such a joyous time and so infuriating that you have to deal with this. Be diligent in demanding that they treat you just as any new parents would be treated. I contacted our Human Resources Department to inquire about maternity leave while we were still in the waiting stage. Our private Social Services company had not experienced an employee who adopted before and did not have a policy of paying leave. I discussed with my boss and wrote a letter to HR; needless to say, I was paid for 12 weeks, and now there is a policy for future adoptive parents. Wishing you luck.

[goin'batty]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

The other person scheduled off also has a very legitimate reason for needing time off. She needs to care for an elderly parent who will be having a procedure. It would seem to me that this is a good reason to allow two people off at the same time.

We had thought about staggering our time off, that wouldn't be a big deal. It is a big deal though that they aren't letting her take time off for the delivery. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what they tell her when she mentions other peoples' leave that has violated policy.

Okay, redheaded, that's the cutest little girl I've every seen!

L