[Melhowe]

Can anyone tell me if open adoption are legal in Oklahoma?
Thanks

[DianeS]

There aren't any states that I know of that bar two consenting adults from talking to each other, sending letters to each other, visiting each other, sending children to stay with each other. So in that respect, it is legal to have an open adoption.

If the birth parent is a minor, or in jail, or the children were removed for abuse or neglect, then some other rules/laws may apply.

However, I suspect what you're asking is if an open adoption is enforcable or not. For that, I don't know. Only a handful of states enforce an open adoption agreement, I don't know if Oklahoma is one of them.

Let us know if we can help further...

[Melhowe]

Thank you for your response. The reason I asked is the girl that is considering placement with my sister and her husband said that it was illigal in OK for an open adoption. Maybe it was not enforceable in Oklahoma so they are not comfortable with the adoption in Oklahoma.

Thank you for your response! Oh, and by the way, the girl who is preg. is 16 years old and living with her mother and father. They are trying to assist her with the adoption process. She was raped at a party and did not press charges on the guy who raped her so there may also be an issue of BF consent.
If you can offer more info, please let me know

Melissa

[BrandyHagz]

Melhowe,

I am a birthmother who became pregnant under the same type of circumstance. Although in my situation, I knew the guy’s first name…but not his last name.

When I contacted the agency I used to place my daughter, they told me that the way they handle issues like this, is they will generally place an ad, or send an investigator to seek out information…depending on how much is known.

Because I had his first name, and we had mutual friends, they used an investigator to get the birthfathers full name…with out disclosing the reason. They then located his last known address via the Drivers License agency, and served him with papers. I know that it took them like 4 months to do all of this, and the processor tried to serve him 4 or 5 times.

I never pressed charges; because I didn’t even know anything had happened until I found out I was pregnant 5 months later…I’m one of those weird people who’s first symptom of pregnancy is feeling the baby kick…

[alicecoe]

Hi, Yes, open adoptions are legal in Oklahoma. I live in OK and my husband and I are adopting a baby boy who is due in January and it is an open adoption. We love the birthmom, she is very special to us and we are thrilled that it is an open adoption.

[Melhowe]

Hi! Thanks for your response! What part of OK are you from?
We live in Duncan, OK. I thought they were legal, but the question is are they enforceable? The ** is concerned that she can't enforce the consent for Open Adoption. I guess she has head some stories were ** have been promised an open adoption, but then changed their mind once they had their baby.
Thank you for your information!!
Melissa

[LisaJPer]

From south of Norman OK here (I have family in Duncan by the way!)

I gave a child up for adoption in 1996 there are many ways to go about the father situation.

As for open adoptions they are legal, and there are several types of open adoptions, most get worked out by the birth mother and the adoptive family. You can have visits often, visits not so often, phone calls, letters, pictures etc. You decided together how things will be.

My suggesting to birthmothers is figure out what you want early on into your adoption process, as soon as they find parents for your child if possible. We never really talked about how open it would be after the adoption, despite the fact that I grew to have a close friendship with her adoptive parents mine is only semi open. I do get pictures occassionally with a few letters back and fourth from me to them. I know how to contact them if I ever need to.

I know several women who have given their children up for adoption in OK all have relationships with the child in some way or another. I know one who spends a lot of time with the adoptive family and child, goes on vacation with them spends the night etc. I know some who talk via phone.

As much as I would love to see "my baby" who is now 7, I am glad I don't. I think it would be harder for her and for me. She is growing up knowing she is adoptive, if she ever decides the time is right to met me then I will be here with bells on!

[Melhowe]

Thank you for your response. That helps alot. I will pass it on to my sister. I work in Norman some. I live in Duncan and my work is the SW region surrounding us, but the home office is in Norman and I am headed to Norman today. Nice to hear from someone in OK. Thanks again!
Melissa

[DianeS]

Melhowe,

If the birth family of the child your sister wishes to adopt is looking for 100% certainty that the law will *make* your sister keep the child in contact with them, then they need to know there is nowhere that open adoptions are that legally enforcable.

Even in the states that "enforce" open adoption agreements, the worst that happens to an adoptive parent that refuses to cooperate is a slap on the wrist. Maybe a fine of contempt of court or some such. But a child isn't property, so the child won't be returned to the birth family if the contract is violated. The adoptive parent can go on being summoned to court and slapped on the wrist for 18 years, if they so choose.

It all comes down to trust. If she doesn't trust your sister to keep in contact, then the rules and regs some states have about enforcing open adoptions isn't going to console her, once she really learns their limitations.

She (and maybe her family, too) needs to see a professional counselor to have all her options explained to her, including the limitations of the law. She needs to come to grips with that before choosing to place her child, or it will cause problems later.

Good wishes to your sister!

What a shame that we cant take peoples words to be honest and truthful ....that we have to worry about the legalities of it. I am a bmom who was promised letters and pics, yes I got them for 8 yrs and then as soon as the adoption center closed their doors so did the aparents of my bson. I havent heard from them in 5 years, why cant people just be honest and do what they say they will do......I just dont understand.