[Diane's girl]

Hi All,
Just wondering if anyone saw last weeks episode of Friends? I felt their scene about the couple who had adopted their son and Chandler "told him he was adopted"was ignorant, and certainly not funny. Anyone else see it and have commentary? Shame on you NBC!

[May4u2nvme]

I didn't get to watch it but about an hour ago when my friend came over to pick up her daughter (I get to watch her for a couple hours in the mornings while she goes to class) She told me all about it. I don't want to start an argument, but I thought it was kinda funny. I can see the serious nature of it too, but since the skit is purely comical I took no offense to it. However if it was a more serious show or a based on real life situation I probably would agree with you and think it wasn't tactful but that's just my opinion. Like I said I don't wanna start anything.

[praytobemom]

Well, I saw it and I didn't think it was funny. I know it is a comedy but I think they could focus on the funny side of a homestudy or the process of adoption because we all know that laughter is the best medicine to get through all of that. I don't think, however, that they should make the audience think that not telling your child he/she is adopted is the norm. I think it just perpetuates bad stereotypes.

Tam

[May4u2nvme]

Tam

I do agree with you on that they didn't portray the norm about telling a child they are adopted. I know that we will tell our child and talk to them about it more as they get older and are able to understand, and from what my friend tells me the little boy on the show looked to be around 10years old or so, and by then they would be able to know more and understand about adoption compaired to a younger child. But like I said I didn't watch the show I just heard about it. I hope no one will hate me for my opinoion.

[drewnphilipmom]

I watched it and I didn't laugh at all at that scene. All I could think was here we go they are going to portray Adoptive parents in a poor light. If they want to do funny show Monica frantically cleaning before a homestudy. That is real and something adoptive parents can relate to. I did think it was funny when the adoptive mom handed monica that huge binder of information on all types of adoption. I think NBC could make this funny and at the same time educational about all aspect of adoption. I have a feeling this will be the back burner story for a while since there is so much focus on the Joey/Rachel/Ross triangle.

[lucyjoy]

There are parents who don't tell their kids they are adopted even when all their relatives know and funny or not, this could happen. I think it sent a strong meesage to those types of parents. Maybe I'm warped, but I thought the show was funny.
I take older kids, though, and when people make stupid comments to them about adoption, they often will react with a shock as if they didn't know.

[karabur]

I was very upset and so was dh. Come on this is not the 50's.

[melon161]

I have to admit I thought it was funny. I laughed. I think they did it the way they did so that they could show that not telling your child is NOT normal. Chandler just walked up to the kid and mentioned it, assuming that the child would know, like most other adopted kids. Him not knowing showed that that wasn't normal. I thought they did a good job there.

Stacy

[Opus]

We tend not to watch much TV during the 8:00 PM hour because our kids are young and we're busy getting them to bed so we didn't catch that particular episode of Friends.

However, from what I've read, I have to agree with those posters who feel the episode was inappropriate. Let's hope the show's writers show some sensitivity regarding future scripts.

[redhedded]

who also thought the episode was funny. They clearly showed that NOT telling, what appeared to be an 8-10 year old about his adoption, was abnormal. I thought I was prepared and organized, but this couple gave me the creeps. Karabur said this was not the 50's; I agree and think they portrayed the process in a modern day, humorous fashion.

[MomofKaden]

Ok, I admit it too - I laughed...I hated that they would actually show a family who hadn't told their elementary school aged son, as I think this is HORRIBLE and total cause for dysfunction and need for therapy, but on the other side my husband and I both looked at each other and thought - that's a good one - we will have to teach our son to mess with people! he he he...of course he will know he is adopted, but I think it would be pretty funny if he could straight face act like people just let the cat out of the bag like he didn't know...serves people right for asking stupid questions! he he he. I didn't hink it was all bad, in fact, I kind of think it is neat that that primetime/popular a show would try to tackle as serious and wonderful a subject as adoption - maybe it will make it all the more normal and socially acceptable a topic and less people will think it is "scary" or "unnatural" - point is, I can see how some were bothered by it, but in general, I don't think it made society at large have a negative impression of adoptions, and that is all that matters to me.

[melon161]

Jessica,

very weel put, I totally agree with you! I think it's great that "Friends" is addressing adoption cause not many sitcoms do.

Oh by the way, I saw on the life network that they have a show about the adoption journey (kinda like a Baby Story on TLC) I watched it the otherday and it's very cool.

Stacy

[HappyTwinsMom]

The next morning, I was talking with a co-worker who has absolutely no adoption experience or frame of reference. She found the show funny, too, but said "Who wouldn't tell their child they were adopted?" So, I guess I would say we're underestimating the intelligence of the general public by thinking they would buy a sitcom as reality. I mean, come one, everyone knows even "reality TV" isn't real!

[amom4life]

I do think there are still people out there who don't plan to tell their children they are adopted. They are most likely rare but still are out there.

I think the show sent a strong message on why it's best to tell your child and that it would also be best coming from the parent not a complete stranger. And the way Chandler approached the boy with it I thought was very good. He just assumed that the boy would know he was adopted which also told me that Chandler would plan on telling his child and he didn't think it was a big deal, very natural and normal.. And Chandler sounded very happy and proud of adoption when he was talking with the boy.

I didn't laugh because I was too busy putting myself in Chandler's extremely uncomfortable shoes.

I wasn't offended by the show at all though. I do hope they do a bit with the Bings preparing for a home study visit. I think it could be hysterical!
Judy

[kmalay]

I too thought it was funny and we all know with adoption that you need to laugh every once in a while. Heck think about how many bad portrails of pregnancy and birth have been on TV. I agree with many of you that in todays world being open about adopt is becoming the norm especially with the increase in international adoption and for those who have not told their children maybe they will tell them in fear of that situation happening.