[Matt5750]

Hi All,

My name is Matt and my wife and I are considering adoption. We think that we have much to offer a child and would hope to share our love with a little one.

We were hoping to find out more about agencies and how one goes about registering with them. We were thinking that it does not have to be a small baby, but a child that could use a good home and lots of encouragement would be fine.

Any words of advice you may provide will be more than welcome.

Thanks,

Matt

[melon161]

Hey there Matt, welcome to the boards! Hopefully we can help with your questions. (I probably can't because I'm from Canada and the laws are different) but I can sure encourage!

Stacy

[angelical]

Good luck, as you embark on this rollercoaster!

My husband and I are waiting to be matched with a child or sib group in foster care. We have about 25 "possibles" right now that we are waiting anxiously to hear more about.

I suggest that you talk to a social worker, either a county worker or a private agency, about your hopes and goals for adoption. There are also lots and lots of photolistings on the web that show waiting kids.

Good luck!
Sharel

[MomofKaden]

Matt,
do you know what type of adoption you are looking for? Open, semi-open or closed? Domestic I assume? What about the child - you said it doesn't have to be a newborn - does that mean you intend or would like to go through the state/foster care system? or would you prefer an agency that deals with newborns/babies and the occasional toddler? Generally agencies have preferences on what types of adoptions they do - some only do closed adoptions, some only do open, and some to all...so, that is the first step. If you need help deciding on what level of openness you want, just ask - I can give an earful on why you want an open adoption!

If you didn't understand a word I just said, let me know that too - love to help, but love a little more info...then maybe I can help point you in a direction!

Congrats on beginning the process!

[tobeafamily]

Hi Matt & Welcome,

I think your first step would be to think about how you want to pursue your adoption plans. There are three primary ways of becoming a parent through adoption. There is no 'best way' - each carries its' own benefits and risks. They are:

1. International
2. Domestic Parental Placement
3. Domestic Waiting Child/Foster Care

When thinking about which route is the best 'fit' for yourselves, I'd recommend asking and discussing questions like these:

1. How important is it that your child share your ethnic heritage?
2. What age would you consider - infant, toddler, older child?
3. How comfortable are you in parenting a child with issues related to previous neglect, institutionalization, abuse?
4. How much are you willing/able to spend in fees?
5. How comfortable are you in sharing your lives with others?

As for agencies, I'd recommend you ask for recommendations from your family doctor, your wife's OB/GYN, religious leader, etc. Also, see if there's a local adoption support group - members of groups like these are generally quite willing to share their experiences, lessons learned, etc.

A good source on the web to 'check out' agencies, though not inclusive, is The Adoption Guide www.theadoptiongude.com.

HTH, please feel free to ask questions.

Regina, Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[amom4life]

Welcome Matt!
Judy

[Support2Adopt]

Hi Matt and welcome!
If you are open to a child, versus a newborn, I would like to suggest calling your local department of social services and find out when their next informational meeting is. If you adopt a child through the state, the cost is basically free and there are so many children out there who need forever homes.
JJ

[stacyone]

Welcome, Matt!

RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH! Head to your local library or bookstore and get 'Adoption for Dummies' or other overall adoption books. Then, talk together about what type you want. Take your time, talk to family, go to a couple of orientations at different agencies. What type of adoption you have is a HUGE decision.

Congratulations -- you've just entered the early stages of "adoption pregnancy".

[taggrr2]

Hey Matt!

I totally concur with RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH. Unfortunately, and like everything else, you have to become familiar with the lingo. Tapestrybooks.com has a good selection of books concerning before you adopt.

This is not a difficult process at all so don't be intimidated, just a tedious and sometimes hurry up and wait process with lots of paperwork and then more waiting.

As stated before, after research, you'll have some decisions to make. How old, sibling group, domestic or international, etc?

For our first, after asking around, there were 2 really prominent attorneys in our town that handled adoption. We went with one of them after hearing them speak at a class we attended. We moved and have begun our second adoption using an agency. I literally went through the yellow pages and requested info packets from as many agencies as answered the phone. For us, the decision was clear when we received these packets.

Hope this helps.

[saucey95]

Hey Matt! Welcome to the boards!! Whew there are a bunch of things to consider before you start looking for agencies.
Tobeafamily gave you some wonderful direction with the questions. Go over those with your spouse and make decisions and then you can begin the search.
We are going through our local foster/adopt state agency. Child Protective Services. However, we DID look online at different agencies. Most have their criteria listed, fees, contact info, and some even have pics of waiting children. We looked at both international and domestic adoption and requested information packets as well. This gave us a chance to sit and read through all the paperwork at our leisure and then make a decision.
We chose our foster/adopt route for several reasons. Economics was a big one as we cannot afford the fees many agencies charge! They'll tell you about the $10K tax credit but keep in mind you don't get this UNTIL you file your taxes and it's not a whole lump sum. Many suggest getting a second home mortgage, a home equity line of credit, using a credit card, getting family members to pitch in, asking your employer if they offer assistance, etc. There are options out there. It just depends on what you are willing to do or qualify for to get the money to pay the fees. On the upside, the fees are not paid all at once but over a span of time. The length of time depends on the agency.
Beware of agencies asking for a huge chunk of money upfront. Some do require an application fee but state they will refund the money if you are not approved for any reason. Most application fees run $100 - $200. You DON'T have to put down more than that. There are always other reputable agencies you can turn to.
If you go to church, check with your church also. Some churches have One Child/One Church programs where the church as a whole helps financially to adopt a child.
I would do as much online research as possible to save money and footwork. Also, read other postings on the boards to get a feel for agencies, experiences, etc. Ask lots of questions!! Write down everything.
Oh yeah, in addition to the economic reason for going foster/adopt, we wanted the option of getting a very young child. As a foster/adopt family, we are taking on what are considered legal-risk children because there is still a chance the b/m might be approved to take her child back but we also have a chance at getting very young children. Plus, if the mom were to have more children down the line and they were also taken away (sad but true!) then we would get the call first because we already have the children from her earlier pregnancies.
Don't be suprised or discouraged if this all sounds like a business. It's a huge booming business and it plays on the emotions of those of us who are trying to work our way through the system and have a family. Stay focused, stay positive, keep your eyes open, and stick together. You'll be fine.
Congratulations on your decision and I wish you only the best!
L.

[Support2Adopt]

[quote]Originally posted by saucey95

If you go to church, check with your church also. Some churches have One Child/One Church programs where the church as a whole helps financially to adopt a child.
]
This is the first I've heard of this. Do you have a web site you could post on this or offer any additional information?
JJ