[melon161]

Well we got word yesterday that everything is officially OK'ed! We are going on monday to meet with the social worker, fosterparents and professionals. I'm so excited. We still won't get to meet her this time. After we read her whole file and everything then we have to go home and thnk about if we still want her and then in about a week we can call and tell them our final decision (which will more then likely be YES) then we can go and meet our daughter! I can't believe this part of the process is going so fast. Everything else took so long and this is just cruising along. Hopefully we'll have her at home for her birthday in November.

Stacy

[amom4life]

Wonderful news Stacy!

[cathy102]

That is so great. Can you tell us about the little girl and how old she is????

Cathy

[Support2Adopt]

Great news Stacy!
JJ

[MomofKaden]

yeah!!!!!!!! Tell us how it goes! Not much longer now....

[melon161]

well, I don't have much time to talk but the meeting didn't go so well and we don't know if we'll be adopting her now or not. It's up to us but there are a lot more problems then we orginally thought so we have a lot to talk about and a lot to think about.

I'll update more later.

Stacy

[MomofKaden]

Sorry Stacy to hear about your meeting....say lots of prayers and I will say some for you too and I am sure it will be clear if this little girl should become part of your family or not. I am sure she has been through a lot, and if you are not prepared to handle it, by all means, don't feel guilty. You shouldn't do anything you are too uncomfortable with...I think it is kind of an all-or-nothing deal.

Always there if you need me,
Jessica

[Support2Adopt]

Sorry things didn't go better with your meeting. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
JJ

[melon161]

Okay, I'll update now. We met with the social worker and the foster mom in the morning and it was such a hard meeting because we were told that she was about a year behind in her development and we learnt yesterday that she's more like 2 1/2 years delayed. I know I probably sound cold hearted but there are other things we learned that were a total shock to us as well. I feel terrible for feeling like this, I thought it would be so easy. We would go there, hear all about her and then come home and say yes. That's not the case. Anyway, after the morning meeting we had another meeting with her teacher and speech therapist and this meeting was terribly depressing.

It's so hard to realize that you may be getting in over your and head and already be in love with a child you've never met.

I just got off the phone with my social worker and she said that she was happy with the way the meetings went and that she was sure that we'd make the best decision for us and not to worry about it either way, she was behind us. She said she felt that we took everything in and really got a lot out of the meetings and that that was good so we would make a good informed decision.

I hope that I can be honest with myself and my husband can do the same. I feel like I'm deciding the fate of a child and it's not a good feeling.

Sorry to be so down everyone.

Thanks for listening.

Stacy

[cathy102]

Stacy..

You will be in my prayers!!!

Cathy

[Dianna]

Hi Stacy, While you are thinking over your referral and the challenges involved, you may want to visit the special needs board as there are people there who have dealt with a lot of the challenges you may have heard about. Regular people can parent children with various difficulties, it is a matter of expectations, training, temperment and committment. Best wishes.

[saucey95]

Stacey, you are definitely in our prayers. What a difficult situation. That's our fear...that when we decide on a referral we will be faced with a much more disabled child than we expected and we will already be in love with him/her! My husband wants to hear all the info before we even see any child because knowing us...we'll say yes with our hearts instead of our common sense!
I wish you the best and hope everything works out the best for your family.
L.

[melon161]

Thank you everybody for your encouragement and kind words. We have made the decision not to proceed with this adoption.

We feel like we are making the right decision we are confident in ourselves. Before the decision was made I was a total wreck but as soon as we made our decision I knew that it was right for us and I felt a lot better.

saucey95, I know how you guys feel, you put so much emotion into this process and then you have to make a decision sometimes discluding that love and emotion and it's really hard. Good luck to you guys.

Stacy