[cj416]

I know there is supposed to be waiting in adoption. I know they can never truely tell you when it will happen. What I don't know is if our worker is truely doing whatever she can to find us a child. We never hear from her. She will return phone calls, but nver has any info. Infact she gets snippy saying"I've told you this takes time."I only call maybe once a month and she makes me feel like I am driving her crazy. I only ask if there is anything new or any other stuff she needs from us. We started in March of this year and we have not even been presented a single child..UGH!!
I feel like all this waiting and we have nothing to show for it....I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions??????

[Linny]

CJ:
Are you adopting privately with an agency, or through the state foster system?

If you are adopting privately, I'd ask 'why you haven't been presented to at least one situation....and is there something you could do to change your profile, etc'.

If through the state foster system.......this is commonplace. I think you have to network more with this type of adoption, than you do if going the private route.

Network on your own. Call other agencies to see if you can contract with them as well..........that is....agencies that will not charge you 'an arm and leg'...as one of the other threads here talks about.

If through the state, network too. Check the national listings, your state listings.....call other state DCF offices and 'present' yourself. I'd have to say that state workers are so very overburdened with everything, they simply can't devote a whole lot of time to networking.

Good luck.....

Sincerely,

Linny

[cj416]

I am working with our state, but I have been talking with other states and have actually been asigned workers in 2 other states. So, I am networking big time. I think I have sent our homestudy to a least 6 other states so far. I am working on more, it is just a matter of getting to them to agree to work out of state. Some are so busy they just can not take on out of state cases on top of their regular load....We are trying as many options as we can.....

[LynMaria]

Are you searching for an infant, older child, special needs child, a particular gender, race, etc.? It will be very difficult to be matched with a healthy infant through the state. Infants typically go into fostercare and get adopted by their foster families or are picked up by private agencies for protection of the Bmom. If a healthy newborn is not a must, I would definitely start talking to other states. Your worker cannot do that for you, she/he is simply too busy with her/his caseloads. Network for yourself...ask your worker if she would mind you sending out your own study...many workers would welcome that..it's less on their plate. Study the photolistings....inquire about many children...you'd be surprised at how helpful some caseworkers will be. The more children you inquire about, the more workers you'll get to know..and who knows....maybe one of those little angels you inquire about...will be your little son or daughter! Good luck in bringing your baby home.

[cj416]

We are looking for a child 0-6. An infant is not a must.Yes that is a hard age to find, but we are open to some special needs, so we have not totally cut are selves out.
I just really beleive some workers really do want to find homes for children and others just do it if it happens to fall in their lap. You know some of them are not actively looking for matches for the families they have. It's hard thinking maybe we have one of those workers. She even discourages use of photolistings. So, what do you do???

[polkadotghost]

I live in Canada so its a little different here. My sister and her husband are trying to adopt a behavioural special needs 0-6years and are willing to work with any number of problems. They are going through the government but are now well over a year waiting and still not even one child presented to them. They've been approved and everything. Their worker does the exact same thing yours does, when they call she gets annoyed and insists that she's working on it while also discouraging the photo listings. She's told them to take classes but won't tell them what classes or where to take them. They've actually gone to the supervisor to complain but nothing happened. They were told unofficially that at 25 they are considered "too young to adopt a child" so that is why it is taking longer. The government does move very very slowly. I really don't understand why it takes so long to match once approved when there are so many children in the system waiting for families...

Good Luck!!!!!!!!

[praytobemom]

CJ,

I know exactly how you feel. We started the adoption process in March as well and the waiting is awful. Our situation is a little different in that we are doing domestic infant so we are waiting for a birthmom to choose us. Our profile has been looked at we know. We never hear from our social worker either but I do call on occasion as well. She has been very nice though. Is there a possibility of you working with another person perhaps? Maybe someone who is going to be more understanding. Well, good luck and keep us posted. I am praying every day that our time will come.

Tamara

[cj416]

Well,after finally talking to our worker we have finally be put on the "list for a 3 year old.We also have been put on the list for a 6 year old in Kansas.So heres to some hope........

[LynMaria]

That's a great start...your being thought of by your worker! Check out the Nevada photolist under siblings.....Kate and Anthony ages 3 & 2 (i think)...beautiful children and mild special needs. If my little New Yorker hadn't found his way home to us (not home yet,but working on it), I'd be calling about these kids daily!!! At their ages, I couldn't believe they hadn't been matched with a family...plus, I have had great response from Nevada...they seem interstate adoption friendly! Keep plugging...yopur baby(ies?) is out there!