[NadaMama]

Hi,

My husband and I recently finished our homestudy and now we're filling out our parent profile for our agency. We need to specify whether or not we'll accept a baby whose birthmother may have consumed alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, crack or heroin during different stages of her preganancy.

Before we can make these decisions, we want to find out more about how these substances can affect the child's development. Could anybody please point me to some online articles or other resources that can help us learn more about this?

Many Thanks!

[MomTo1]

NadaMama...

Those sections can be very scarey. When we had to answer those sheet's, I spent the weekend searching everything on the internet. In the end, it was all baffling. One site would say one thing and then another would say no problem.

We decided the best thing to do was to talk to a pediatrcian. They were more then happy to discuss this with us over the phone and they answered all our questions much better then the internet did.

Good luck to you!!!

[stacyone]

Great suggestion! Our dd's bmom smoked throughout the pregnancy and that caused no complications at all -- but then there was another (not serious) complication that could have been avoided through early prenatal care.

I remember filling out paperwork that asked what was "unacceptable" to us -- it was so weird to be asked that. At first I just put 'inoperable birth defects', which seemed to be the buzzwords I was hearing. Then I thought about a friend of mine who only has one hand and I thought, "If M came out like Sarah, would I send her back? NO!!" so I changed my answer.

I still remember, though, how strange it felt to be trying to answer those questions!

[browntap]

My husband and I have always said we would evaluate the situations on a case-by-case basis. It's so hard to say no alcohol, when she may have had a couple of drinks before she found out she was even pregnant (I know because I did that!). Also my younger brother has fetal alcohol syndrome and because of that is very delayed, although he has made great strides in the last 5 years (he's 10). My sister was born with cocaine in her system and had asthma as an infant, but she grew out of her asthma and has no lasting effects from her bmom's drug use. So it's really hard to say Yes or No to one question when all the circumstances are not known. Good luck!
Tammi

[MomTo1]

browntap....

That is a great idea to be able to evaulate each case on a case by case situation however with adoption agencies, I don't think it works that way, at least with the one we used.

We had the same form in which you have to decide what is acceptable and what is not. It was very detailed with before pregnancy, 1st trimester, 2nd and 3rd. It even went into what you would accept in regards to mental issue's and abuse with the birthfather.

This form is then used by the adoption agency to match you with the best possible birthparent or situation. With the agency we used, if the birthparent fits the profile, then you are NOT ABLE to decline a match. There are no choices, that's why it is so important to pay attention to your requirements. If you were to decline a match, then you are booted out of the agency.
The more open you are willing to be with the situations, the quicker the placement will happen. At least, that's what I found to be true with the agency we used.

[NadaMama]

Like Momto1, our agency does require us to indicate our preferences based on substance usage and pregnancy trimester. Our answers will determine who we're matched with. We were also told that a large percentage of the birthmothers do smoke, drink and/or do drugs at some point during the pregnancy so asking for a completely "clean" baby may delay the selection process. So I guess we're trying to figure out which is the lesser of the evils.

I am planning to talk to a pediatrician, as our agency recommended to do. First I have to find one, yet another item for our "to do" checklist!

In the meantime, I did find some useful info on the March of Dimes site.

Alcohol
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1170.asp

Smoking
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1171.asp

Cocaine
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1169.asp

Marijuana
http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/159_4427.asp

Heroin
http://www.adf.org.au/adp/heroin.html

Premature births
http://www.marchofdimes.com/prematurity/5196_5799.asp

Low birthweight
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/681_1153.asp