[leaabc123]

Hi, we are a lesbian couple that was certified in late December of last year.
We did not get our first placement until end of June. I suspect it had more to do with us not wanting a sibling group.
We did get a call for a teenager in March but felt that she had a history where she would not do well in a Lesbian household. That was our feeling, not the workers.
We had also said we wanted young school-age children, figuring everyone else goes for the babies.
Well, we are on our 2nd placement, both of them have been infants, so go figure.
We are still waiting to find out whether this will turn into an adoption. If it does turn into an adoptive placement, then he would stay in our household.
Overall, we have had a very positive experience. In fact, several of the workers we have come in contact with are gay/lesbian.

[rsgorman]

Congratulations on your placements, it is encouraging to hear from other GLBT parents! Good luck on permanant placement as well!

[out2pgh]

Update.
We adopted two boys age 8 at the time. We were matched during our adoption classes and selected as their forever family in October 2003. They arrived home in Pittsburgh on Dec. 2, 2003. Our finalization was in July 2004, which was an incredibly fast process. The birth certificates arrived about three months later. Both myself and my husband are listed as parent 1 and parent 2. We were never discriminated against through out the process. Our caseworker expressed excitement as this was the fasted placement/finalization that she has been involved with in almost 30 years. Our advice; be aggressive and true to who you are as a person and couple. Remember, we have to be better parents because we are gay and lesbian.

[dadfor2]

out2pgh

not sure what you meant by this statement?

"Remember, we have to be better parents because we are gay and lesbian."

my feeling is, we all have to better parents...no parent is perfect, gay or straight..this isnt a competition.

i think i have an idea on why you think g/l need to be 'better parents'...my guess is that you have to 'prove' something.

but i do believe its already documented already that g/l make good parents just as much as straight parents do... (thats the reason g/l can adopt in the first place.)

actually, ill go even further..and say that i had read somewhere that g/l parents make better parents to adopted kids because they can understand certain issues when they were younger, and have more understanding if a child feels 'different' then the other kids.

my fear, and i have heard it from my g/l friends...is that they find it hard to ask for support, because they feel that people would think because they are g/l that they cannot parent children.

i tell them, what a crock...and its their crap, and no one elses.

your statement kinda bothered me (can you tell... ) ....i think we all have to try to parent these children better...and if we need support, trying to prove something...would only hurt the children.

There is nothing to prove here..we are all in this together, and the more support we can get, the more success we have at raising our children.

so i say...take the pride and toss it to the wind...were dealing with children and now is not the time to think that g/l parents need to be better parents then straight.

anyway, i felt i had to say something, i dont want any g/l parents to think they have to prove something. we all can use some support, and it doesnt mean that you are not good parents, it just means that sometimes our kids in the system are tough to parent.

[out2pgh]

I think you misunderstood me. Let me retract the statement that closed my last message to clarify my opinion and replace it with... "We must try harder because we are gay or lesbian". Don't read too far into the statement.

We, as gay and lesbian people need to be our best for our children. It is us that have chosen them and not them selecting us. Let's be honest with ourselves. bringing a child into a same-sex parent or single g/l/b/t household can and most likely will add additional stress to an already burden child. The child will be forced to deal with g/l social issues and hate at some point.

I believe it is our responsibilty to set a good example not only for the child but for society. By setting an example, we show the world we are deserving and capable of raising healthy children. One needs to look no further than Florida to understand many don't feel we should be afforded the oppurtunity to adopt.

Until this opinion changes, we must show the legal system, the social workers, the senators and the rest of our conservative government that we can and do make great parents.

I have never seen, nor have I heard of any report that identifies g/l people as being better parents for adopted children. That's not to say that some of us are not. There are some reports that suggest that g/l/b/t people are fit for parenting, but large amounts of data about these children are not available as g/l adoption numbers have only in recent years become more commonplace.

If we are good parent, we are already showing by example. We need to make it easier and safe for g/l/b/t generations to com.

I, much like you, believe that we must support each other, and that the very most important part of all this are the children.

My only purpose for writing my previous message was to share our positive experience.

--Party of five in Pittsburgh

[smckeown-young]

My partner of 10 years and I adopted in December of 2003. We may have an exceptional story, but we found the entire process not only rewarding, but even enjoyable. We chose Open Adoption after reading "The Kid" by Dan Savage. We felt that this way our son may better cope with the issues of adoption and in many cases, gays and lesbians have better chances through Open adoption. We have a great relationship with our sons birthmother and we email about once a month. She wanted us to be in the delivery room, so we were lucky enough to be the first to hold him, feed him and change his diaper. Today, he is very happy and healthy and thriving wildly. The agency we worked with was absolutely wonderful. I can't compliment them enough. The agency is Bellefaire J.C.B. in Shaker Heights, Ohio - metro Cleveland. Also, the HRC website was really helpful - and, if for no other reason, for the much needed comic relief - "The Kid" by Dan Savage. Good luck to everyone out there.

[SadieAnn]

Have no knowledge to share, just wanted to say good luck in your journey. I certainly would hope you have no problems. There are SO MANY children in need of good home. I wish you the best!!!!

[skootinalong2]

I don't see any discrimination in our county. I know that several children have been adopted by gay/lesbian couples here. Some of the couples were from out of state. (I live in CA) You agency should be able to check on the available/waiting children for you.