[jillo]

Hello
I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Jill and my husband is Mark. After IF treatments, loss, etc. we are back where we probably should have started! with adoption. We have decided to stay with domestic and now are trying to figure out HOW.

We have a good contact with a lawyer for an independent adoption. We also have a good contact with a facilitor (great references). The lawyer says it will take a little longer, the facilitator works quickly but requires a hefty up front fee. And then there are agencies.

Any thoughts? Are there any agencies we should consider? WE live on the east coast and are able to travel. (Please email me if this shouldn't be asked/answered here)

thanks so much,
Jill

[FamilyBound]

Jill, hey there! We were just like you, had years of IF treatments (all failures and loss) and then went to adoption. At first we went to a domestic attorney but didn't feel quite comfortable with him, and then went through with an international adoption and brought home our son Ethan. Now we're going through a domestic agency who we feel very confident with (our friend's adopted through them) and are just in the waiting stages.

The most important thing I can tell you is to definitely research everything! You may also want to go to http://www.adoptivefamilies.com and check out their yearly attorney and agency review issue, it's extremely helpful.

If you have any othe rquestions, don't hesitate to ask!

[redhedded]

Jill, Adoption can be a laborious and mysterious journey filled with highs and lows. We adopted our now 9 month old daughter at birth after a one year process. We were a young couple; this was our first child, and we were unsure of where to begin. I read everything I could prior to working with an agency. Everyone has an opinion, usually based on what has worked for them. For what it is worth, I would only participate in an agency adoption. Many, many with whom I am acquainted lost much money in the independent route; while it initially seems less expensive, it is definitely more risky. That was not a route we were comfortable with. After one failed match with an agency, I became very anxious and began looking into facilitators. You must check with your state law, as they are not legal in all states. I was not comfortable with the upfront fees; further it seemed like something you could do yourself. Several "networkers" charge only minimal fees upon matching; however, I found their websites, which often provided what I considered to be confidential information, and subsequent conversations to be very unprofessional. We opted to change from the Gladney agency in Ft. Worth to A TLC adoption in Salt Lake City and were immediately matched. I would read "The Complete Guide to Adoption," as it lists agencies by state, gives their history and area of expertise, approximate costs and provides numbers of lawsuits. Undoubtedly, many lessons are learned along the way or even after the fact. Best of luck to you.

[AbbeAndBob]

Congrats to those of you who have had successful adoption and good luck to those still in the process!

My question is for those of you who have adopted. Could you please tell me the following:

1. How long did you wait?
2. How flexible were you? i.e, race, open/closed adoption, expenses, medical information, health of baby, etc...


My concern is that we might wait much longer than average because of our discomfort with an open adoption. I realize that every adoption is a unique pairing, but I'm comparing domestic to going international, where at least you have an estimated timetable and expense amount when you sign up.

Thanks for any information you can provide!

Abbe

[ellia3]

Hi Abbe, we are in North Carolina and we began the adoption journey Aug 02. We completed our homestudy and Mapp classes Nov 02. We were approved to adopt in Dec 02. They began sending out our profiles and showing us to birthmom in Dec 02. We were registered with a State agency, seeking a AA or biracial child. We were only open to semi-open adoption. We were not open to any drug addicted babies. From the date we were approved in Dec and the agency began showing our family profile our wait was only 2 months. We were chosen by a birthmom Feb. 03 and we brought our little girl home March 03. Our short wait we give the Praise, Honor, and Glory to the Lord. Our situation and how our daughter came to us is truly a miracle from God. Children are an inheritance from the Lord, God is good. My daughter is truly answered prayer. He did it for me an he will do it for you. God word says he will settle the barren woman in her home as a Joyful mother of children Psalm 113:9. God has a baby for you.

[Support2Adopt]

Hi Jill! Congratulations on beginning your adoption journey. In making a decision on who to use, be sure to find out how many placements they have a year and how many couples they work with at once. I would first see what your attorney or agency could do for you before spending the money on a facilitator. You may not even need one.
JJ

[Support2Adopt]

Originally posted by AbbeAndBob
Congrats to those of you who have had successful adoption and good luck to those still in the process!

My question is for those of you who have adopted. Could you please tell me the following:

1. How long did you wait?
2. How flexible were you? i.e, race, open/closed adoption, expenses, medical information, health of baby, etc...


My concern is that we might wait much longer than average because of our discomfort with an open adoption. I realize that
Abbe

Not necessarily. Even in these times where open adoption is readily available, there are still Birthmothers who prefer a closed adoption.

Overall, I would say the more open you are to situations, the quicker your adoption is likely to go.

JJ