[tay]

this is the situation.........

My husband sister is 31 years old. She has 2 children, the oldest boy(9) is living with the grandparents, her second child (11mths) was not being taken care of and got put into foster care. The 11th month old is being adopted by a cousin. The cousin works within a foster care/adoption agency (not sure) so shes pushing all her paperwork right through to get the adoption quicker for the 11th month old. We just found out that his sister is pregnant again. My husband and i want to adopt the child she is about to have. Right now she is 70% sure shes going to adopt. (BTW she only talks and goes through her mom.. So we dont have any contact with her)

Now that i told you all most of whats going on i have a few questions..

1. Is it easier to adopt when the adoption is in the family?

2. Is the cost just as expensive as a adoption of a child that you have to go through a agency?

3. Do we have to go through a agency and have lawyers and all the other things you need?

4. How long do a adoption take if its between family?

There is a little more that i forgot to mention. Most of my husbands family live in Oklahoma. Thats also where his sister live that pregnant now. (I'm not sure when she's due to have this Kid but i think she's 5-6 months pregnant.) We live in GA. We already have 3 boys. The baby she is having is a girl.

The sister at this point we dont know if she wants to give the baby up for adoption yet. I'm just trying to find out all information in case she do. I think she is going to give it up for adoption but its not set in stone yet.

5. Is it harder to adopt between states (ok and ga)

6. do they have websites that can give me more information

As you can see i dont know a thing. I want to know and want to be prepared.
Once she says yes, shes sure 100% she wants us to adopt.

7. What is the first thing we should do to get the process rolling?

Please help!!!

[FamilyBound]

I'm not really sure of answers to ALL of your questions, but I do know that you will still have to go through the requirements of adopting a child, like a homestudy with a social worker to prove you are qualified. Also, you will need to hire an attorney to do the paperwork required for this type of adoption.

I wish you the best of luck on this -- I think what you are doing for your husband's family is wonderful.

[SomeBunniesMom]

The exact requirements will depend on the state in which you live and the state that the sister is in. the first thing to do is locate an adoption lawyer in both states and find out what the legal requirements are. From that point, most of your questions will get answered. As far as any of it being more difficult or easy, it's not, just a different process. Make sure you have knowlegeable people to guide you through the process and proceed with caution. I had a inter-family adoption fail and the aftermath can be devastating. It sounds like you have a little distance between yourself and the sister, so perhaps you won't experience what we went through. I wish you the best!

[jaja'smom]

I wish you good luck. We adopted a family member but in the same state. We had a homestudy through an agency and hired our own lawyer. It was much less expensive than what agencies are charging. From the woman's decision to give up her parental responsibilities to us, to the time the adoption was finalized, took 9 months (somehow appropriate) and we endured two episodes of her changing her mind and taking Ja Ja back.

We also have two children that I gave birth to and that we have parented to adulthood (and beyond).
In our 'nuclear' family, Ja Ja is adored by her brother and sister and is the light of our lives.

In the extended family? At first a maternal great grandmother who had helped take care of her in the first 3 months made frequent visits (and was always made welcome). She recently married and seems happy enough with the situation that we rarely have contact now.
The mother who gave birth was unable to visit but exchanged letters cards and especially photos. She was, understandably emotionally distraught over her circumstances and had a constant need to know Ja Ja was safe. She was able to make a visit (stayed with us about a week) when the baby was 10 months old and it was an emotional nightmare for all of us (except the oblivious Ja Ja!). She was constantly saying things like "yep, she's wet" and changing her and making me feel like she was trying to 'outparent' me. We went grocery shopping and she pushed in front of me to push the cart with Ja Ja sitting in it and answered all well-wishers comments and questions about the little one before I had a chance. This didn't make me insecure about my parenting, just insecure about her decision to not parent.
She then became unable to visit again, although we took Ja Ja to see her on a couple of occasions. She has recently become engaged and now seems very happy about her life as it is. The last time she called was to borrow money and she barely mentioned Ja Ja.

Well, I have truly rambled -- enough!

[jp33]

We're also adopting a family member, and we still have to do the social study, and things of that nature. I think like stated above its alot less financially than agency adoptions.

Our family adoption is a granchild. My child the birthmother chooses to remain known as his sister, until the time is appropriate. SHe does not live with us, but sees the child regularly and acts accordingly around him. Its in the best intrest of the child, and plus she knows he is safe, healthy and well cared for...this was something agreed upon before the birth and
he has grown up knowing me as his mother. The birthfather, well, lets just say he's insignificant. (I'm being nice)

[tay]

Thank-you for all your insights..

To this date we still havent heard anything about what the sister is going to do. What ever she decides we will support her decision. It would be nice to have a girl in my family but right now i will stay focused on raising my 3 boys (6,3,11mths).

I have always wanted to adopt since i was 12 years old and seeing my family (cousins) get put into foster care, split up and then adopted into families that we didnt know. (Still dont have contact till this day.)

Thank-you again for all your inputs.. I will remember all that ya'll have said if i shall ever need it.