[Deeelirious]

I wasn't sure where to post this so I went with General. If there is a better place please let me know.

We adopted our daughter in September 2005. At the time we were told that our birthmother had placed a year or two previously. I have been thinking about the other little girl alot and have a desire to try and find the other family.

I don't know if the other family is aware that another baby was placed by the birthmom after they adopted. I don't know where to begin other than posting on boards to see if I can connect with this other family. I just feel these girls should be able to know eachother if I can help. Is this selfish of me?

Before I started my search I wanted to get some feedback. I am open to listen to any reasons why people think I shouldn't pursue this.

Thanks for any advice!

[BrandyHagz]

Do you have an open adoption with your daughters birthmom? Have you talked to her about it?

Just wondering...not saying you should...

[Deeelirious]

We have an open adoption in as much as I send pictures and letters and hope and pray that she replies someday..
We had our social worker send a letter at the very beginning asking if she would put us in touch with the other family but she never received a reply.

Should I mention again in my next letter to the birthmom (which I will be sending in the next week or so) my desire to have the girls know eachother? I really don't think she will reply.

[ctquilter]

She may not reply now, but at least it will keep the idea in her mind. Your daughter is young, and maybe her birthmom will share the information when she's older. If I were the birthmother (thinking back to the first years after I surrendered), I am not sure I would be functioning at a level where I could think straight. One surrender was enough for me!

karen

[Deeelirious]

Thank you for the reply.

Do you think I have the right to search on my own if I give our birthmom time to reply and she doesn't? ( I don't mean if she doesn't reply to the letter I just mailed... but maybe hold off on my own search for a couple years and give her some more time?)

I want to be fair to our birthmom.

Thanks for your input!