[Kiki13_13]

My mother is adopted and has frequented these boards. I have come here to learn a lot of where she has been and what others like her have dealt with. My mother and her birth mother are in reunion. I am very proud of both of them and the progress they have made. I guess I just thought I would say hello and since I am not adopted or adoptin or a birth parent, this seemed like the most logical place to post.

Kiki

[Jackiejdajda]

Hello Kiki

I would love to ask you a question.. or two maybe

I am a birthmom who is in reunion with my bson and my three birthgrandkids..
We live across the country so I have met everyone once.. I send gifts via Amazon and I try and send books etc that I loved when I was a little girl..
My bson recently said that the kids.. four or five to eight or so.. understand that I am his biological mother..
I worry that they wonder about this.. that they wonder as to why I could give him up for adoption..

I would love to know your thoughts on this..

Thanks in advance..

Jackie

[Kiki13_13]

I am almost 19. As my mother has always known that she was adopted, so have I. I understood that she was very young (15 when she got pregnant, 16 when she had my mom). I have never thought anything bad of her for giving my mother up. I never thought of her as a grandmother though until she recently became part of our lives.

My younger brother is eight. I think he understands better than we did of her giving up my mom because he will say things like, "How old was grandma when she had mom?" ANd when we tell him it was the age of my younger sister he'll say, "Well how could she (my sister) have a baby? She is so young." So I think this puts in perspective why my birth grandmother placed my mother for adoption.

I hope this helps.

Kiki

[Montraviatommyg]

Kiki,

I'm glad you're posting as it gives another perspective to adoption issues. I am in reunion with my 24 year old son who is single so haven't had that bride to cross over grandchildren.

Pip

[Kiki13_13]

Thank you Pip. I have read your journal. I don't want to say I have "enjoyed" it persay, because I know you have been through a lot dealing with many issues and depression. It has given me great insight and perspective, and I have appreciated your honesty and candidness. Thank you for the welcome.


Kiki

[Montraviatommyg]

Kiki,

I started a thread on the Birth Family Healing, Recovery and Success forum called Living with Depression as I told one member that I email regularly about my depression and was thinking off doing so ... she thought it was a good ideas as it's one of those not talked about subjects. At the same time I started writing about it in my journal ... unfortunately I haven't been able to access my journal since the last entry due to a technical glitch which hopefully will be sorted soon. However I will get back to journaling asap.

Pip

[Jackiejdajda]

Originally Posted by Kiki13_13

I am almost 19. As my mother has always known that she was adopted, so have I. I understood that she was very young (15 when she got pregnant, 16 when she had my mom). I have never thought anything bad of her for giving my mother up. I never thought of her as a grandmother though until she recently became part of our lives.

My younger brother is eight. I think he understands better than we did of her giving up my mom because he will say things like, "How old was grandma when she had mom?" ANd when we tell him it was the age of my younger sister he'll say, "Well how could she (my sister) have a baby? She is so young." So I think this puts in perspective why my birth grandmother placed my mother for adoption.

I hope this helps.

Kiki

It does Kiki..

My bson has three kids.. the oldest one is about eight or nine.. I met my bson and the kids about five years ago.. the youngest was just a baby.. I worried that they would wonder about how a person could give their baby up.. Or if it could happen to them..

And just writing this gives me the realization that I am thinking negative thoughts.. Doing a ‘what if’..

Its interesting.. my daughter (when she was in high school) brought a girlfriend home who was adopted.. The friend and I had long conversations.. She found her birthmom a few years after that..
My daughter also ended up having a boyfriend who was adopted.. He was a wild man.. and I loved him.. He would come for dinner and I always gave him a hug..
They separated… I still ask about him as he is still part of her circle..

Nice memories..

Jackie

[taramayrn]

Welcome Kiki!! So glad you are here. I'm sure that you will add another perspective on adoption and the issues surrounding it.