[grames7]

I have been asked by a dear friend to write a letter of reference for her. They would be wonderful parents but I have no idea where to start and what to include in the letter. The directions are very brief.

Any ideas of what to include or examples of reference letters I can view somewhere on the web?

Thank you.

[BrandyHagz]

Grames,

Each agency and state has their own requirements of what they want in the letters. You said the directions are vague…what do they say?

I mean, the letter could be as short or as long as you wish I guess.

Something that simply says:

To Whom It May Concern:

I’ve known John and Jane Doe for 26 years and I believe they would be absolutely terrific parents, if presented with the opportunity to adopt with your organization.

Sincerely,
Bob Smith
Anytown, USA

[spaypets]

The letter should state how long you've known them and in what capacity. You should include stories that illustrate why you would think they'd be good parents (one of our references talked about how we cared for our animals. Another told the story about how we drove her to the hospital after her husband had an accident). Be as specific as possible. Don't just say that they'd be good parents, say why and use examples. Talk about the strength of their marriage, how they resolve disputes (assuming it's not by throwing dishes!), how loving they are with each other. Talk about their standing in their community and in their families.

And then, before you send it to the agency, show it to the prospective parents, just to make sure there isn't anything they don't want included. Good luck.

[BrandyHagz]

LOL

assuming it's not by throwing dishes

I’m gonna differ a little bit here…if they resolve issues by throwing dishes, you should include it…because they need to work thru this issue before they adopt.

This advice is coming from an adoptee who was adopted by dish (or anything else within arms reach) throwing adoptive parents.

[grames7]

Thank you for your very informative replies, that helped alot. My friends are two of the most non-violent people I know but I will be sure to be truthful in all I say and not exaggerate or talk about anything I don't actually know about.

Thanks again.