[lovemykids]

Hello all! I was wondering if anyone out ther had any suggestions or knowledge for me. My husband and I are adopting a beautiful little girl. We are doing it privately and going through our own lawyer. We got to bring our daughter home from the hospital, and she is now a little over a year old. We have a temporary order of custody and Power of Attorney. In November, the birthmother put a hold on the relinquishment, but has taken no further action to stop the adoption. She has, however, requsted in writing a set visitation. The letter from her lawyer did state she intends on going thru with the adoption. We agreed from the beginning that this would be an open adoptin, and have seen the mother 5 times in the past year, and keep in touch by phone. I tis, howevere, several months in between before we hear from her again. This open adoption is not legally binding, as our states do not recognize open adoptions. We are doing this because we feel it is important for our daughter to know her biological family and her heritage. My question is, how long, if there is a time period, does the birth mother have to sign the relinquishment? Can we try to push the adoption through the courts? I hope someone has some insight on this for us. We have been told by several social workers that time is on our side and to hold on, but it is hard to be in limbo. I would appreciate any responses I may receive. Thank you all!!!

[Suzy]

I don't have any personal experience or expert advice to share, but I wanted to let you know that I said a prayer for you when I read your post and just to share a few thoughts that I have just from my experience with the state and the courts through foster-to-adopt. It would seem strange to me if your state did not have some sort of limits or laws that apply to your situation. Otherwise would it not be more common that birthmother's would postpone signing relinquishment papers? It seems that this might fall under the category of abandonment? Since the birthmom gave you temporary custody and power of attorney, but has not given any indication that she intended to take back custody and has maintained minimal contact. I would be cautious about going directly to the state until you know all of the facts since sometimes their involvement can become very heavy-handed.

Blessings,