[TNCOUPLE]

Ok I live in Tennessee and im wanting to adopt but dont have alot of money 2 give up at once trying to buy a house and they want to much money up front and I dont know where to start and what to do if anyone lives in Tennessee and knows where to start are what 2 do

Thanks
Jennifer

[FamilyBound]

You may want to contact your local foster agency as they will be able to help you foster-adopt a child. That is probably the most inexpensive route. Otherwise, you may want to find a local agency in your area to have a consultation with and they may be able to give you a better perspective.

Good luck!

[TNCOUPLE]

Thanks I would love to do that but they WILL NOT TALK TO ME because I dont OWN my OWN HOME

[Suzy]

Jennifer,

The following is directly off the State of Tennessee website:

"Foster Parents can be:

Single or married
With or without children of their own
May be employed or not employed, but must be able to financially meet his/her own needs
Must be in sufficient good health
Must be 21 years of age
Homeowners or renters

Because of the complexity of the critical role foster parents play, the Department of Children's Services carefully assesses all applicants and provides the opportunity for prospective foster parents to work with a case manager to assess themselves before they accept the role of foster parent.
The Department of Children's Services provides a 30-hour training pre service program PATH, Parents As Tender Healers, to all prospective foster parents. All potential foster parents must provide five references and will be finger printed and have a complete background check. Each potential foster parent daily participates in a home study process that assists the department and the families in making decisions regarding the foster home approval process. The process of becoming a foster family is one of self-examination and self-selection. "

Whoever has told you that you must own your home is either 1) lying, 2)misinformed, or 3)lazy. Call back and ask to speak to someone else, if they continue to tell you this confront them with the information off their own website and the state law. Keep working your way up the chain until you get to someone who gives you the right answer. Call the director of foster care for your state if that is what it takes.

It makes me so angry when people who work for the state chase away potential foster/adoptive parents either by lying or being misinformed. Every time they do this a child sits and waits longer, they are harming children by not doing their job competently. Here is the link to your state website:

http://www.state.tn.us/youth/foster/fosparnt.htm


Blessings,

[TNCOUPLE]

They tell me I can't get a baby because I dont have a ROOM for just the baby right now but like I said were in THE PROCESS of BUYING land AND BUILDING a house on it so when the baby gets at that when parents usually let them go to sleep in there own room he/she will have there own room but for now were staying with my husband parents so we dont have to pay 2 rent bills "the house" and "an apt." so were staying here for a few months untill all is done so thats why they said there not talking to me and like I said you gotta start somewhere and they dont have babies so they say but I have a friend that OWNS her HOME and is adopting a baby BOY in the next few weeks and then they tell me they dont DEAL with BABIES and when I say well I know someone that is adopting a baby from yall they tell me "I dont know what ur talking about Ive been here for 7yrs and never delt with babies" are "well I cant talk about someone else Adoption with you"(and I tell them I dont want them to just want to adopt) Tennessee has made it hard for some people to adopt... A CoWorker is adopting right now and they have been done with there home Study for about 4 months now and the worker tells them oh next week then its the week after there already been matched with a Group of Sibblings.......... So I dont know I would love to be a mother now and I know its not gonna happen anytime soon I have Customers at work (when they come in with there little ones)tell me oh your gonna be a such good mommy and my response to that is well it helps haveing 10 neices and nephews to learn with

Thanks for all you done
Jennifer

[DianeS]

Tncouple, slow down! You're mixing a bunch of things up.

First of all, you need to decide what "type" of child you want to adopt. How old, what race(s), what special needs can you handle.

If, and only if, you are interested in adopting the type of child who is often removed from their parents for abuse or neglect, THEN you can think about adopting through the state.

Once you've made that decision, you need to find out HOW to adopt through the state. In my experience, the vast majority of the adoptions of very young children through the state are done by foster-adopting. It is extremely rare for *any* state to have babies sitting around waiting to be adopted. Most of them are taken into foster care and then IF they become available for adoption they are adopted by that foster family.

Therefore it is very likely you were being told the truth--the adoptions department doesn't deal with babies. Because the foster-adoption people are likely in a different department.

If you are interested in an older child, the adoption department might be able to help.

Also, you need to follow all your state's rules when it comes to the kind of enviornment the child needs. You are not being turned down because you don't own your own home yet, you are being turned down because you don't have the legally-required space for a child who is in their custody. It doesn't matter what age children "usually" move into their own room, what matters is the age the state says that adoptive children must have their own room.

Having a homestudy done is a big part of the process, and for that they have to see the actual home. So right there you know you aren't going to get anywhere until you have your house done and are living in it.

So slow down, take a deep breath, and realize that NOTHING is going to happen quickly. You have a ton of time to use to decide what you want to do. Decide what type of adoption you want, and call someone you believe handles that type of adoption. If they don't handle it then it doesn't matter what you were told by someone else--you have obviously called the wrong agency/department/person or asked the wrong questions.

If you know someone adopting a baby from the state foster care system, go talk to them and get the whole story of how they are doing that so that you can call the right place and ask the right questions to get started.

It'll happen!

[TNCOUPLE]

I guess its just me being excited about haveing a baby I mean ive tried for 7 yrs now and it gets the best of you...I would love for someone to say"I would love for you to raise my child" and yet I know that is not gonna happen anytime soon. I was told about this website address and thought I would try it to get my mind off the WAIT are the NEVER happening So thanks for all the help I got because I guess I would have to wait for a year becuase thats when my house is gonna be built LAND has to be paid off before I can start building on it so THANKS again to all who has answered me