[Rayma]

First of all it's Post-Tramatic Syndrom OR Post-Traumatic Disorder.

I am an adult adoptee with Post-
traumatic Stress Disorder from childhood abuse.

I do not know of any other types of Post-Traumatic Disorders other than stress. But that does not mean that there is none.

I have educated myself quite well on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, so what do you want to know?

I'll help in any way I can.

I don't understand why anyone would start a site and than no even leave a message, but that's just me.

[westone4u]

Hi, Rayma

I 2 have wondered why more of the PTSD issues were not discussed. U R right, there are many more symptoms/disorders then the one noted. for example DID, Depression, Addictions (chemical dependence, etc.) I 2 have experienced these symptoms/disorders as a result of childhood abuse. I 2 would B happy 2 share my experience, strength, and hope with others.


FBW2
But 4 the grace....

[Rayma]

I 'm glad you posted, I didn't think anyone whould with this being as far back on the list.

I came across this subject title and was suprized to find no message here. So I decided to correct the person who posted the title.

I never expected anyone to find this because it's so far back on the list. And never dreamed anyone would answer it.

Maybe this can be a place were those of us with PTSD can talk about it and how being adopted is or is not a complicaition to this or is it the other way around. If there is any complication at all.

[Rayma]

My idea for this site is to have a safe, unjudgmental place for us to talk about our abuse openly and honestly, to encourage each other and offer adivice with the veiw of healing.

This is a theard for the abused, it's not about aparents or bparent's feelings.

OK, I beleive we need to set some ground rules:

1. Anyone can talk about their abuse and and illnesses without being critized or harassed.

2. If the person feels that they are being harassed, then they are being harassed. No matter what the intention was.

3. Anyone told that they are out of line should appoligize and be more senisitive.

4. If your told that you are out of line and continute in your course of action you will be asked to leave.

Because, this thread is for healing any comments on what a person is going through should be possitive.

THIS IS NOT A DEBATE THREAD!!!

[dynamic2003]

I am experiencing trouble with my system but I will reply as soon as the problem is corrected.....GREAT TOPIC Rayma!!

[dynamic2003]

I can call this disorder many things like, "the aftermath of abuseive experience", or "re-living nightmarish trauma", or a slew of other frightful and uncontrollable emotions related to the "stress" of "actual" life-threatening experiences. For now, let's just say that PTSD is a disorder that affects the mind and the spirit in many negative ways.....

Healing comes through believing in "better days ahead"....I know there is no "cure" per say, because this disorder is derived from "memory"....

All I can do at this point to make the "symptematic fears" subside, is hold on to tomorrow.....what do you think Rayma?

[Rayma]

That sounds good to me. Their are many forms that stress can take and sometimes it's not reconized as stress...Ex: a verly bad headache that will not go away, can be from stress.

What do you think of the "rules" for this thread? Is there a way to make it
better?

[Roxanne]

In my experience I didn't identify my self with the disorder tell I started the search. I was a raped. Gave birth to a beautiful little boy at 15. I truly beleive his in a good home. And is loved. But in my search It opened up all kinds of memories. I hurt deep. I Went into a deep depression. I went into counsling and was diagnosed then. I understood after counsling sessions and looking up sites on the web . Why I had drank. (to forget), couldn't keep a good relationship. (couldn't trust anyone) Why I had so much fear. And why I had so much anger and hurt that wouldn't go away. I was misunderstood for years for the Freaky things , I'd do without thinking first. I suggest anyone that is a rape victim to get help. If you don't It will control your life. PTSD, is a life time trauma. Not curable. But you can control your emotions with understanding your self better. Once my family and friends were told of my condition they became more understanding and forgiving of my actions in the past. They are very supportive of counsling. And Search. I am going to search. But slowly . I don't want to overwhelm my emotions tell I can get more prepared if my son rejects me. Rejection is hard on us with PTSD. We have low self-esteem and Mood swings. I used to be told that I fly by the sit of my paints. Or the Rainbow chaser. Nothing was ever consistant. And with my other children I found I had a hard time holding them. They knew I loved them. And I was over protective. But physical contact was hard for me. And the more trauma that came into my life . was devasted. And trust me I attracted trouble. No law. Just naive ways. I sheltered myself. Hide out. But always had attracted weirdo's into my life in some way. I beleive, God and counsling. and new friends (Michelle). And trusting in a better way of life and future. I thank God for all the angel that protected me from my self. And watched over my other kids. They are strong and leaders. I'm grateful for them in my life. I look forward to al my tommrows. For I know that its only up from here. If I stay in counsling. And Pray. I hope this helps someone. Roxy [email]4x4forus@cableone.net

[Rayma]

Roxane.

You give good advise.

You sound like you are going to be a thriver. If you don't know what a thriver is... frist your a victum, then you think like a victum, next your a surviver, and lastly your a thriver. You seldom here of thrivers. But their our some. I'm in between being a surviver and a thiver, but I'm more of a thiver. But I do have some surviver issuses to work out, and I'm doing it.

Compleat your therapy and if your on meds and want to get off of them Don't stop cold turky. Use a professional to help you taper off. You don't have to get off your meds to be a thriver. I only mention it because there is a debate over wheather a person with ptsd should take meds or not. I take meds. The only people I've heard debating it is people with ptsd. Do what's best for you, don't let anyone tell you that you have to take meds and don't let anyone tell you that you can't take meds. It's a personal decision between you and your dc. Make sure that you have someone who REAlY knows what he/she is doing. A bad therapist can realy mess you up, weather he/she is a dc or an alternative. I've heard both bad stories about both. Most people haven't commented on the type of therapy they use (again a personal choice) or if it's good or bad. I had excelent therapist. I went to the VA, they treat ptsd all the time. My ptsd is for child hood abuse.

Keep up the good work and keep us posted.
You would realy want to be a tiviver, wouldn't you? You'll get there.

rayma

[sam_i_am_71801]

Last week I couldn't spell it. This week I IS it..........lol

[clara]

As far as spelling and name-giving confusion goes, perhaps we should all stick to acronyms!!! LOL

Roxanne and Rayma, having read your exchange, I hope you don't mind my 5 cents worth:

I can't help thinking that the extent to which you are "cured" from PTSD depends on how much you want to regain your own life and are prepared to place the past where it belongs, in the past.

I say this not because I want to reduce the deep and devastating impact abuse and trauma has on anyone, but because if I can leave it behind, so can you. It has nothing to do with being a strong or weak person, it has to do with the choices we want make for ourselves.
Letting go of the past means accepting new ways of coping with the stresses and challanges we face everyday.

Alcoholics Anonymous has a slogan which I have mentioned on another thread: living life on life's terms: it is not easy, but as adults we are no longer in that threatening environment. People can only abuse or mistreat us as much as we allow them to. We are not powerless as we were when we lived through the abuse and were unable to stop it.

Scientifically it is known that exposure to abuse over a long period of time can alter brain chemistry but that does not mean it is incurable or untreatable.

The problem is that many many people with PTSD avoid therapy and treatment: avoidance is a trauma based defence mechanism. Therapy does not make the past disappear, nor does it wipe out our emotional feelings about what happened, but it can change the way we allow those memories and fears to intrude and disrupt the lives we choose to live now.

The hardest, but most rewarding change is learning how to cope and do things differently and overcoming the fear of including those memories and feelings (good and bad) into the person we are now. That can make a world of difference to how we look at ourselves in the mirror each day.This is a process called integration and means accepting who we are and what happened without it controlling us now.

Any of you heard of Sidran and the PTSD Alliance? These are two organisations specialising in PTSD and have a wealth of information and resources about how to get past living in trauma.

I'll most more information in the next day or two....

[clara]

Roxanne,

I am not attacking you or anyone else. I am not saying living with PTSD is a choice: I do happen to know what I am talking about.

I am not trying to make light of what is an awful way to live and I am certainly not trying to throw it in your face. I have never claimed that PTSD is like depression. Depression is as real as PTSD: I have had to learn to live with both.

Colours, places, a look on a person's face, a smell - all of those things will be trggers for the rest of my life too. I got to the point where it hurt me so badly to live that way I had to find a different way to live. I did not want to spend my life hating, being frightened , waking up everyday tired because I could not sleep properly, and livng with a permanent knot in my stomach. I lived disconnected from my own life until five years ago. I had no idea what it meant to really feel anything.

It is easy to shout at me and say I do not know what I am talking about . Fine, if that makes you feel better.

The point is that I no longer allow that fear nor PTSD symptoms to control myself. I am talking about making choices about how much less pain a person chooses to live: that is all! I am not saying it is easy. Far from it.

I have been to hell and back. Saying I am not a nice person, because I am not afraid to voice my opinion, is something you can do as well, it simply lets me know that you are still in a great deal of pain. For what it is worth I know what it means to be stripped of one's dignity more than you could ever imagine.

I do not know you and Roxy, you have no idea who I am, so before jumping at my throat so quickly, why don't you ask me questions about why I have said what I have said. I am not someone to write such things on an open forum like this just for the sake of it.

take care of yourself.

[Roxanne]

Sorry. I did jump to conclusion. I'm really hurt. My first year of knowing I have It. Sorry for offending you. You sound like a nice person. Roxy

[Rayma]

Roxy,

Both you and Clara have good points.

Roxy you are talking about victum thinking and then learning about PTSD and starting therapy. Clara is talking mainly about being a thriver. She does no what it is like. I have talked to her several times about PTSD. In fact I asked for her help with this forum. We don't always agree, but we reapect each other's opoin. So, you see she isn't trying to be mean she's just coming from a differnt part of the healing process. All of us are at different stages.

I'm not making an excuse for her. I know for a fact that most of the things she said is true due to my own healing expeince.

I had to learn how to rethink matters, and control my temper. And I always attracted the wrong type of people too. I don't anymore. Those kind of people seek out someone that they can mistreat to make themselves feel better. After you develope your self esteam and self confindence they wont be after you so much. Those kind don't like women with a strong self esteam because they can't walk all over that woman.

From all the books that I have read PTSD is not curable but it is treatable. Many people don't get treatment, sometimes they think it's everyone esle that have a problem. For ex: "They're noisy, they need to get away from me and leave me alone". And all the loved one was doing was tring to help. Yes, this is a very mild example. I don't want to scare anyone. So as you learned, people self-medicate through alcohol and/or drugs so they don't feel the emotional pain.

I did the self-medicating, and was self distructive. But with God's help (the last time I was suicidal was years before I was diagnosed, because I learned how mush I mean to HIM), therapy with a realy good theraphist, and my meds, I got past the garbage that I had learned. And learned to let go of my past. It's still there and it always will be. But I let it go in the since that I have forgiven my abusers, and am able not to dell on it any more. I no longer have nightmares or fear everyone...in fact I went in the opisite dirrection in the Army out of neccassity, I no longer fear anyone. I'm working on being more caulsas.

You see, Clara was right about a lot of things. But each of us heal and handle things in a different way.

Some of us are very sinsitive and sme of us are blunt and we can be inbetween. But from what I've read the extems are the norm. In fact I'm too blunt most of the time, but I can be very understanding as well. I whould not be here, on this site if I couldn't be. I have to keep an open mind.

Don't worry her statments were not drected entirely at you, and as I said you are comming from a differnt place in healing and personality. There's nothing wrong with either of your personalities, it's human nature to be different.

If I find anyone who brakes the rules they will be asked to leave or appologize. I jest beleive that the two of you are comming from a different place.

Breaking the rules is for ex: Saying that you personly are ..., Or saying that PTSD isn't real or that it is just an excuse.

Both of you need to try to understand each other. Clara is a writer and is very articulate, and full of facts because she's been there and knows a lot more about research than most.

[Rayma]

Clara,

No, I've never heard of Sidon or PTSD Alliance. I'm glad you mentioned them. I'll check them out.

From my therapist and all the books I've read there is no cure for PTSD but it is treatable and with and after treatment it is managable. For ex: I don't let my PTSD control me anymore, I control it.

Both you and Roxy made good points.

I'm sure that she didn't understand where you were coming from. All of us being at different stages in our healing.

Could you please try to be a little less ? (I'm not sure what the word is) so people who are just begaining the healing process will not be affended? Please?

I like to hear your comments just the way they are, but we are all differnt. I know that there is no way to please every body. And that being your style you may not be able to, but please try, not for me but for the people just begaining the healing process who are sinsitive. coure not all who are begaining the healing process are sensitive.