[ButterflyBlue77]

My husband and I are considering a placement of two siblings, age 17 months and 3 yrs. They are on track to reunite with a mother who is working her plan; the home that they are currently in "gave notice" as soon as they realized that they would probably be reunited because they "didn't want to get too attached". This is what we have been told by the social worker.

I am wondering what these kids should call us. They're very young and might naturally want to call us "mom" and "dad" or something like that, but I'm uneasy with that because I'm afraid it would confuse them, since they will be going back to their bio-mom.

At the same time, I think it would feel really odd to me to have a child for whom I was acting as primary caregiver call me by my first name. Does anyone have suggestions for things that they could call us?

[lovemy6]

My fkids always started out calling me Ms. First Name.

[CaddoRose]

My first sib set was 2. 5 and 18 months and they both called us Mom and Dad. They really have a need to feel safe and safety involves having a Mom and Dad. At this age, the title is what the give to the person who cares for them. they don't understand all the other stuff. Psychologically at this age, Mom and Dad are the terms they understand for their care givers. Even at Daycares, little kids will call their care givers that.

I always try to refer to myself as Momma C or C Mom, but eventually they will call me what they want to. I had a 4 yr old who never called me anything because he just hadn't figured out what to call me. I kept referring to myself as Ms. C to him, but he never used it.

[ButterflyBlue77]

for the input. They will be our first placement (if the worker ever calls us back) and it's good to see how others handle the issue.

[ScrapMonkey]

Because we have 2 kids and a fs who has been here over a year, we are Mommy and Daddy. If a bio has a problem with it, we tell them we are the Mommy and Daddy of this home.

[StephanieMB]

Originally Posted by ScrapMonkey

Because we have 2 kids and a fs who has been here over a year, we are Mommy and Daddy. If a bio has a problem with it, we tell them we are the Mommy and Daddy of this home.

That's exactly how we handle it too! Or if a foster kid says in a sassy voice, "You can't tell me what to do, you're not my mom!" I say, No I'm not your mom, but I am the mom of this home so I do have the right."

[ButterflyBlue77]

I guess having them call us Mom and Dad seems the most natural. I think it would be hard not to slip into saying things like "Don't pull Mommy's hair".

I guess at this point I'm leaning towards just going with Mom and Dad, if they want to call us that.

I did consider something like Nani and Pop, but that just sounds kind of grandparent-ish to me, and we are both 29.

It could be I am over-thinking this.

[StephanieMB]

When we get new placements, we introduce ourselves as Miss Stephanie and Mr. Ben. Invariably, within a very short time, they lapse into calling us Mom and Dad and we never insist otherwise. All kids need a mommy and daddy figure and as their foster parents, we are filling that role for them temporarily.

[LacyMom]

thank you for this thread and the responses.

we are new foster parents and I've wondered what to call ourselves or what to say when introducing them to others.

[c.a]

We used mama and papa because it was not likely in our area that bio parents would refer to themselves using those terms. I have had foster kids call me Mama "C" or Mommy "C". At that age - they are going to be around other kids who call their primary caregivers mommy and daddy - it is likely that they will gravitate toward similar terms.

Go with something you feel comfortable with and don't be surprised if the kids decide to call you something else.

[jill__09]

We used our first names because we didn't want the children to get confused (they still visited mom and dad weekly). Our bio children call us mom and dad and the little one (12 mo) picked up on this and calls us ma-ma and da-da. This bugs the bio parents but we didn't initiate it???

I heard a set of parents use "auntie mommy" and "uncle daddy" with little ones--kind of cute!

[Jensboys]

We use Mama and Papa (because they visit with Mommy and Daddy) but we DO have our own 4 kids that call us mom and dad so our 15 month old is beginning to call my husband Dad (correcting him when he refers to himself as Papa). And Mama pretty much shortens to mommmmm which is pretty much identical to mommy to a baby Soooo saying that, our intentions were good (great in fact) but the reality is with 4 other kids calling us mom and dad, mom and dad we are.