[2mommymoos]

Hi,

My brand new FD (transitioning into our home right now) seems to have some pretty extreme food issues. She's 3 1/2 and just won't stop eating. She was at the table for 2 hours and kept asking for more. After dinner, she wanted more. When she went to bed, she wanted more. Her last FM said she was hoarding food. I want her to feel like there's plenty of food here, but I think her little tummy would break if I let her eat as much as she wants. I know where this comes from, but what do I do about it? How can I get her reconnected with her own body signals of when she is full?

[mamamac]

I knew a foster parent once who allowed the child to hide cans of food under the bed. They didn't need to eat the food, but just having it there was a security. Of course, the child didn't realize the cans were empty, but they could be full and it wouldn't matter in cans.

Could you maybe have a conversation with her and have her pick out a few cans and find a place for her to put those just for her? It might work.

[millie58]

I adopted my now 14 yo son. He has major food issues. He hoards (not as bad) but I'll find empty food containers and wrappers in his room, under his bed, etc. He'll deny it at first; then admit it a week later that he took the food. good luck!!

[2mommymoos]

She stopped hoarding food at her last foster home, so I don't want to encourage it to start again. It's mainly at the table or any place there's food. She just eats and eats and eats and then asks for more. Oh, I guess I didn't say - she's 4 1/2 years old.

Someone gave me some advice to tell her that she could have more, but that that would be it and that we would be eating again in few hours for lunch or a snack or whatever. I feel insecure about what the best thing to do would be.

Can children who have gone without food a lot in their younger lives get reconnected with their sense of hunger/fullness? How does that happen? Is the issue just emotional or is there a biological component?

[JSAUNTIE]

I think I might actually be able to help on this one. When we got our step nephews and niece placed with us they had major food issues they did the same thing that you are saying plus hide food and get into the pantry at night and eat out of the trash if it was in their reach. I called our CW and ask if she had a good recommendation for this and she had a few books for me. I cant remember the titles but I read that it is best to keep a small drawer or shelf with snacks that they can open and eat when ever they want. I did healthy snacks and juices I even bought the little boxes of milk that dont have to be put in the frig. Tell her this is her snack cabinet and she can have whatever she wants whenever she wants. I will tell you you will have to stock it daily for awhile but she will slow down when she relizes it is there and she can have it. I did this and the kids new step mom continued this with them when they were moved into thier dads house. She said now she can usually stock it once a month. And they have started to eat regular meals now and are doing really good at not hiding food anymore. PSSS they have been gone 2 years now but we noticed a big improvement with them in just a few weeks. Good Luck

[2mommymoos]

These are some great ideas!! I have heard of a snack shelf or drawer before, but I didn't think about it in relation to this situation. I'm wondering, would the snacks be available all the time? What about before meals? I guess the idea is to let her eat what she wants when she wants until she can trust that there will be food. Then, once she trusts that there will be food, she'll start eating what she needs instead of eating as much as she can?

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by 2mommymoos

I'm wondering, would the snacks be available all the time? What about before meals?

Yes, all the time. It's stocked with all nutritious stuff - beef jerky, carrot sticks, granola bars, apples, string cheese, milk, etc. The drawer is designed by the parent to give the same level of nutrition that she'd get during meals, in case she chooses to skip the meals. But children who "stuff" don't usually skip the meal, even if they just finished a snack.

Then, once she trusts that there will be food, she'll start eating what she needs instead of eating as much as she can?

Yep, that's the idea. This can drive some parents up the wall before it's had time to work, though. As long as it's balanced food, and her doctor doesn't say she's gaining too much weight, the advice is to let it go and let her keep eating. Just keep remembering, the food in her snack drawer is good for her! It is not supposed to be any more appealing than the regular meals are. Its food a child will eat when she's hungry, but will ignore when she's not.

Good luck!

[thelowlanders]

Good ideas.

Another thing that has helped us before, is the food pyramid or a chart. They don't need to be able to read it. They just see you point to the chart and say "The chart says we should have this much cereal, etc." Or "The chart says you may have one sweet a day. That was your popsicle so we'll have to wait till tomorrow" It worked with our 2.5 yr old FD. She'd point and say "Oh, ok" The battle wasn't between us anymore. We were obeying the chart.

Sorry, I kinda rambled

[Lorraine123]

We had a food box for my daughter for a few years. Stock it with foods that can be eaten at any time. Let them be in control of it, so that they see that they have complete access to foods. NEVER let it get empty. Also, I found that at dinnertime, it is best to not have the food on the table. I fix plates in the kitchen and bring them to the table. She can have all the seconds she wants, but it will be of the fruits and vegetables, not the meat or starch.

Food issues are tough. I have to say, in all honestly, I don't believe these kids will ever fully get over it. My daughter has been with me for 6 years and she still doesn't feel when she is full. I have to regulate it for her to a degree. She still panics when our routine changes because there may not be food. At age 12, she gets excited every evening when dinner is served.

Its very sad.

[CaddoRose]

My 24 month old doesn't know when to stop either. She would sit and eat for hours or until she threw up. I fix her a regular plate of food. We don't go back for seconds, so whatever is on the plate is what we eat. About an hour after each meal I put out veggie sticks on a plate on the table. Anyone can eat them. They get carrots, celery, broccoli, radishes, etc. No dressing. Just veggies. This way they are eating really healthy stuff that fills them up. They can also drink as much water as they like. Over time, this has brought the need to eat and eat and eat down
to a manageable level because there is always a plate of food on the table.