[sara_christeacher]

Hello All,

Okay so about me, I am 21 years old and am starting college in January. I have waited a long time for my 21st birthday to come around so I could start fostering, but my circumstances have changed and I am not quite ready but almost. As soon as I have settled with a job and school and can afford a two bedroom apartment I want to start fostering. Why I am here is to ask if this would even be possible and if it is even a good idea. I plan on fostering boys ages 0-10 but with preference on the ages of like 2-7. I want to take the boys that no one else will take, the ones that have the most behavior issues. It would probably be at least 6 months before I am financially ready but am I being selfish in doing this. I am also just interested in fostering, I will take emergency placements however I am sure that if one of the children became available I would adopt, but it is not my intention to adopt.

[Bamamom07]

I applaud your ambition. But do listen to others who have gone the single parenting route while trying to get through college. I am one of those. It ain't easy. I strongly recommend you go to school first before you take on parenting. It is really very hard, very stressful. And you're wanting behaviourally challenged kids. With school and a job, you will have very little time left over for anything else. Time is what foster children need. And foster parents who aren't super stressed out. Take this time now to concentrate on your educational objectives, and learn as much as you can about foster kids, their needs, and advocate for them. Become a mentor in the Big Sisters program. There are lots of things you can do to prepare and to help foster kids right now, without actually taking on the job of parenting them. I have a 21 year old son studying social work who plans on starting a group home/school for troubled boys eventually. He works with ED kids now in a residential facility, and would love to bring 2 or 3 home with him. I imagine you're a lot like him, with a lot of love to give and you want to give it now. But if you'll stay on your educational track first, you'll be a lot better prepared, and able to be much more effective at helping these kids.

[wellnow]

Originally Posted by Bamamom07

I applaud your ambition. But do listen to others who have gone the single parenting route while trying to get through college. I am one of those. It ain't easy. I strongly recommend you go to school first before you take on parenting. It is really very hard, very stressful. And you're wanting behaviourally challenged kids. With school and a job, you will have very little time left over for anything else. Time is what foster children need. And foster parents who aren't super stressed out. Take this time now to concentrate on your educational objectives, and learn as much as you can about foster kids, their needs, and advocate for them. Become a mentor in the Big Sisters program. There are lots of things you can do to prepare and to help foster kids right now, without actually taking on the job of parenting them. I have a 21 year old son studying social work who plans on starting a group home/school for troubled boys eventually. He works with ED kids now in a residential facility, and would love to bring 2 or 3 home with him. I imagine you're a lot like him, with a lot of love to give and you want to give it now. But if you'll stay on your educational track first, you'll be a lot better prepared, and able to be much more effective at helping these kids.

I totally agree...I was working full time and in college getting my Masters Degree when I started PRIDE training...that didn't last long at all..school requires a lot of focus, dedication and time so I decided to finish that before I started pursuing foster/adoption...I too was "excited" at the prospect of becoming licensed but your mind and body will become tired with all the studying, research, etc...

The one PRIDE class that I was able to attend was an all day class (8-5) on a Saturday..so I was tired from working 40 hours, having a full class load, etc...I was cheating myself!

Believe me, there will always be a need for loving foster parents so focus on your schooling now, mentoring/volunteering, etc. and that will keep your desire alive!!!

Good luck!!!!!!!!

[basimah]

One thing people forget about is providing respite for foster parents. If fostering full time is not an option right now, try being a respite provider. From what I hear, there are never enough. And as a college student, I'm sure that some agency would love to have you tutor foster children in their after school program.

[waited2long]

Originally Posted by basimah

One thing people forget about is providing respite for foster parents. If fostering full time is not an option right now, try being a respite provider. From what I hear, there are never enough.

I agree with the above. It's a terrific idea.
Then if the OP decides to go into fulltime Foster Care, she'll be better prepared. There's nothing like hands-on experience with these kids to know what it could entail.

[loves2now]

I have to say that your ambitions are huge, and I applaud you making a very mature and life changing decision. However, I am a single mother of my own beautiful little girl, and now a new foster mom to my own niece. I am just 22. I put myself through school when my daughter was young, and pushed my way into a very successful career. I had also spent years (since age 16) doing respite, and emergency fostering/respite. And as proud of myself I feel, I cannot help but wish I spent more time experiencing life before I became the oober-responsible adult I am now. You may find it difficult to foster children when you still have time left to experience your own youth, and to grow from life experiences. I agree with previous posts about respite. Ease into it, enjoy your life, go to school, and experience all the freedom you need before you take on the mental, emotional, physical and financial responsibility of raising children.