[lovingheart]

We just learned that our beautiful foster baby will be going to relatives to be adopted. After so many months and having the SW tell us that we would be in the clear to adopt him when they filed TPR it kind of leaves us with our heads spinning. From what we have heard they are a nice couple with preteens at home. What the parents have told us and SW has told us are two different things. Parents think they are getting an open adoption that they would have had if they had gone forward with us but SW has said that the family want very little contact with them...I feel sorry for baby and parents if it ends up that way especially since we were fully willing to allow them into the baby's life if we had the oppertunity to adopt. Don't get me wrong, we are not angry with anyone just so very, very sad to have to start the process to let him go. Does anyone know how quickly this could move? The parents want him to stay with us for the holidays so they will get to see baby as family lives five hours away and they cannot afford to travel right now. People are asking us about Christmas presents. We don't know what to tell them. WIll they move him in with the family as kinship foster until the adoption is done? I think SW is avoiding us because she thinks we will be angery. We are heartbroken but knew going in we would be heartbroken whenever a child moved on to their forever home. Baby has never met them. Will they take him right away or do visits at first. If anyone has been through this let me know your experience please. I know there are many ways it could happen but for my piece of mind I would like to know all possibilities

[HOPEFULINPA]

I don't have any answers for you. I just want to tell you I'm sorry.

[meshsgrl]

I dont know if this would actually make a difference... but I would call the SW and let her know that its very important to you that the baby transtion slowly. Let them know you are accepting their decision to move her and want to make it as easy as possible for the child.

I have 2 children here that supposedly have no relatives interested in adopting them, yet I will hold my breath until the adoption is through.


Hugs and prayers for you!!! I know this must be difficult!!!!!!

[lakin11]

Are the relatives in the same state? If not, the ICPC process could take several months to complete, depending on what states you are working with.

Hugs, it is a hard thing to let go. Enjoy the time you have left.

[craftingmama]

how close are the relatives? my 3rd cousins are in foster homes in texas and we'd love ot have htem, are certified foster parents, BUT are told we're not close enough relatives, haven't ever met them, etc. the judge COULD still go with you, I htink, unless they are close relatives.

[ALfostermom]

a lot depends on how old the child is. My 2 yr old i had for 16 months went to a cousin he had never met and we transitioned him over a months time. but the family only lived 2 hours away and i did all of the transporting. I imagine it would be hard to transition with a 5 hour drive. i had a 4 yr old that went to a neighboring state to an uncle,6.5 hours away that he had only seen 2 times. the cw told me uncle's homestudy was approved and the uncle drove up the next weekend to pick him up, no transition. So i guess what i am trying to say is every case is different. I will be praying for you, your family and this child...

[FullQuiverMamma]

((((hugs to you)))) and remember that every good thing you gave your foster baby matters and will be a permanent blessing to him....

[luvmykids4]

Loving heart -- I just read your post. We too just lost our beautiful foster baby. We've had her since birth, and the Children and Youth agency really thought the case would go toward adoption. The judge suprisingly ruled otherwise, and we just sent her home without her barely knowing or bonding with her bio parents. I know it's hard, but we are also just trying to keep positive and strong. We are doing something good and needful, even if it feels like it's going to crush us. God bless you, and know you are not alone.