[enchansin]

Someone sent this email to me and thought it might bring a few laughs...
I been in this mom's stall...


A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's
restroom stall.
By Shannon Popkin


My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and
does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the
library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.
There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last
week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took
Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom
that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the
last stall:……………


'Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on
the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy,
what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?'
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in
the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe
we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of
this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a
good girl, Mommy! You gonna get some candy for going stinkies on
the potty?
Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in
dere.
Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some
candy!'

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of
me.

Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was
really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before
exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't you look in Mom my's purse and
see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!' 'No, I'm trying
to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!' He started to gag at this point.
'Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are
making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!'

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I
quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to
reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four
flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this
embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going
stinkies! Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off.
Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet
outside my door.

'Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What
were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?'
M ore laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the
situation.

'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now,
Mommy.'
He started pounding on the door. 'Mommy, don't you want to wash your
hands? I want to go out!!'

I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened
the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies
crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first
thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, 'Where's the fine
print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my
dignity and privacy?' But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin
while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought,
I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little
fellow.


(Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives
with her family in Grand Rapids , Michiga n , where she no longer
uses public restrooms!)

[KARW79]

OMG....I have tears I was laughing so hard. That was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[startedover]

enchance,
you should be ashamed of your self. My 15 month old stood beside me very CONCERNed why mommy was crying such big tears while reading this. SHe is very sentimental and doesn't like seeing anyone cry. I couldn't even read this all at once because I was crying so hard. (Tears of laughter) Thanks for the break in an otherwise stressful day.

[enchansin]

QUOTE "startedover"
enchance, you should be ashamed of your self.


I'm so bad....

[mama-2-3]

Too funny!! I read it outloud to my husband and we were both rolling.

[JeannineW]

Oh my. This so reminds me of my 4 year old. When I have him out in public one on one, people just smile and giggle at us. He NEVER stops talking about anything and everything. It is so cute in a maddening kind of way.

Thanks for the laugh.

[momofbgtwins]

Thanks for sharing, I needed a good laugh

[michsm]

I agree just what I needed after my day. Can't stop chuckling.