[Merrimama]

Hi! I am a new poster, and have been reading the threads, and you all have such great advice, I thought I'd ask for help. I have been a foster parent since July of 07, (cute 2 year old pain in neck ) and just got a 4 year old 7 days ago. We have 2 main problems ( I know this is just the first week, and I need to be patient, but I'm not sure what to do.) Problem #1 Completely addicted to tv. Wants to watch it 24/7, whines and cries when we shut it off ( which we do anyway) and beggs for it ALLL DAY LONG. We have a playroom packed with toys and my 5 year old tries to play with him, but he just whines about wanting tv. I have no problem with tv, just not all day long! Ok- enough complaining. Prob #2 He was never made to behave- If we tell him No, he asks WHY? then proceeds to do the thing 2 seconds after we have told him not to. I;m not trying to introduce too many new rules at the beggining, but the basics such as no throwing, killing the pets :'> and other basic behaviors he just keeps doing over and over again, and time out is not working- do you guys have any ideas on how to get him to listen or even pretend to listen?

[Mkuhlmann06]

Maybe a time in vs a time out. Or put in a reward system in place - every time you tell him not to do something and he doesn't, he earns 15 mins of tv or gets a sticker and after so many stickers he gets so many mins of tv. Also, I say 1 hr of play time in play room = 15 mins of tv or something like that.

Good luck.

[momagain5]

hi,
i can relate our son was addicted to gameboy when he first came to live with us.we realized quickly he could not be permitted to keep it in his room or he would play it constantly.he had meltdowns ,when he was told game time was up.this is what he was used to doing.tv and video games are used by some parents as a babysitter.at 4 i would limiot how much tv he watches,and what programs he watches.also use tv time as a reward for good behavior,and take away tv time for bad behavior.he may not know how to play with toys.some kids are not taught this ,and have no clue how to have fun playing.play simple games with him,read to him,this will help him bond to you.playdoh,coloring and drawing are good activities for his age.our son also loves tv,and all he wants to talk about is video games and tv shows he has watched,we now limit tv even more.on school nights ,no gameboy,and very little tv.time outs or time ins,be persistent and consistent.also read love and logic,there is a book on love and logic for toddlers also.you are in charge,and he needs to know that.

[HOPE4U]

I will second Love & Logic as a great parenting tool!
Be consistent and don't give up.
It will take him time to remember the new rules- keep reminding him.
The rewards plan sounds like a good thing to try- giving him tv time as a reward for good behavior. When he is playing make sure you use encourging words to recognize what he is doing right...he will want to hear that and hoepfully continue that behavior. Someone mentioned he may not know how to play... this is true- I had one foster daughter that had no imagination- it made it really hard to play- she was never allowed to do these things at home ( no tv, books, cartoon characters, never interacted with other kids- strictly raised on the bible). It was hard, but she slowly learned to relax and have fun with lots of encouragment.

When our now adopted daughter came to live with us..it was really rough. I run a daycare, and had 3 other children her age that knew the routine and how I expect them to act...she bucked my system constantly. We have a "THINKING RUG" - the kids have to sit on it to think if thier actions and what would be a better choice, and sometimes come up with their own consequences if more is needed. We don't call it time out-it works really well.
Good luck!