[ANNWILL]

Oh no, that crying was of good. It just melted my heart. My whole life is focusing on this wonderful girl, that's why I'm fighting to get her back. God only knows what would happen to her if she stays. Remember at 5 weeks old she had 3 broken bones and multiple bruises. I can't let that happen to her again. If she went to a good home, family we wouldn't be like this. but knowing her mother for all of these years and seeing what happened to her other kids I just can't let this happen to her. That's why I have the HOPE she comes back. I always look at her picture and know there is still alot of love for her. Even if they call us and say that they have other kdis for us to adopt, my love for her will not go away and we will still take her if or when they call us. I will love the new kids as much as I do her-that they will never have to worry about. I have alot of love to give and I do not favor

[JJemail1]

Hi ANNWILL,

Your pain is very real and if for some reason your little girl doesn't come back into your care you may never get over the loss completely. Again, I only experienced a fraction of your pain at our last reunification and I experienced the classic grieving emotions--denial, anger, hopelessness and finally acceptance. I still have dreams about our little boy and I've still try to find him to no avail.

All this to say that i, was indeed able to love another child as deeply and genuinely as our baby boy. No matter what happens, your ability to love and change another child's life can never be taken from you.

My very best wishes,
Jennifer

[henderfive]

Annwill, I feel your PAIN. We also lost our little ANGEL to his bio mom after 2yrs. He left us on Jan 11th. I NEVER felt such pain and my husband took it harder than me. I pray for you and your family that GOD will give you the peace that you deserve. I believe GOD has a greater plan then we can even see. My husband does not want to do this again and maybe because the pain is so fresh. I do know where my little ANGEL his but bio mom says I cannot see him. It's all about the rights of these so called parents and getting the case closed not about the children. I pray everyday that GOD helps heel my heart, because maybe their is another child out there that needs me and my family more than my little ANGEL. I use to ask GOD to please let the bio mom relaspe and do drugs again so we can have our baby back but GOD does not want us to pray for harm to others. Now I pray that God gives the strenght to his mom that she stays sober and takes good care of him. It is very hard to do. The world seems different now but I believe we are learning life lessons and we are not even realizing it. Your blogs have helped me soooo much and I will pray for you and your hubby everynight. GOD BLESS and keep us informed.

[ANNWILL]

I am so glad that I found this site. I feel that I am not alone going through all of this. I got a copy from CASA's lawyer when he replied to mom's lawyer's brief. To me it's pretty good. He stated this had nothing to do with mom and her case plan. This is all about the best interest of the child which the judge did not do. Plus her lawyer had in it that her mother said that she is doing well and is attaching to her bios. Well this lawyer said knowing moms character how do we know that she is telling the truth based on her past. Plus how she was thriving with us and also the 12 out of 22 months of being in care (she was for 4 years). Hopefully, no not hopefully, The appeals court WILL see just how they made a mistake and she comes back home

[henderfive]

I hope the appeals court will correct this mistake. I have read an article about foster parents who appealed a child that was sent to live with a distant relative. They had this child for a little over two years. The foster parents took a big gamble and even their lawyer was pretty surprised when the judge agreed she made a mistake and returned the child to the foster parents. I really think this case is going to work out in your favor not only did they make a BIG mistake but look how much the mother has screwed up and she hasn't had her for that long. Sometimes I feel like the courts give these children back so the parents can't sue if they are taken away again. I feel like the courts are so worried about the rights of these parents. It is soooo sad. Is it possible to ask for a different judge? Keep up the hard fight. Remember your not alone, and keep in mind how much you have helped others through your blogs. Thanks for keeping us informed. Your in our prayers.

[ANNWILL]

Here is the latest. The person from CASA called me and told me that CSB is filing for cops on the three girls but the only problem is that the earliest date is may 2nd. I know the appeals court won't wait that long to hear this case. Also CSB is filing for permanent custody on her older two. She sure as heck isn't going to like that. Knowing her she'll appeal that too since we (the people) are paying for her lawyer. I called my caseworker and hopefully she can find out where our little girl is. the only one that knows is the other worker-keep on praying!!!!

[lightlove]

Hang in there, Annwill. It's the love for your girl that is pulling this up out of the muck. Stay positive, and allow the "mother" to dig her own hole, that's not where your energy is going. It's going to the best interests of this child and that's what will prevail. Smile, breathe, and feel the power of love!

[ANNWILL]

What really keeps me going is all of your support and prayers plus of course my "happy pills". ha ha. But really, I really couldn't do this without all the support and understanding everyone gives me. I talk alot to my mother-in-law which helps too. She is VERY attached to her too so when I cry she understands. Like she said she prays everyday for her and I tell her I pray every minute I get. My hope is what they can't take away from me and I KNOW she'll BE BACK! The courts will see the best interest of the child.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

You story has become legendary here on the forum. WHEN (not if) this turns out the way we are all praying it will be a win for all foster parents and foster-adopt parents out there!! As well as every foster child cheated by the system. You are going to bat for the team!

[henderfive]

I have a question for you or anyone else that reads this. I know if mom loses custody your daughter will be returned to you. How do I know if mom screws up with the foster son I had, they would call me so we can have him returned to us? Is that always the case? What if mom asks he not be returned to us because according to her we were trying to steal her baby. She knew we were willing to adopt him if she didn't get him back. Can anyone give me some answers or advice with this one.

[athikers]

Henderfive... I think as long as you are appropriate and the child did well with you, it is the CHILD'S right to be returned to you.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Henderfive~
We have always been told that if a child was in our care, reunified, and then came back into care that we would be contacted.

IF the child came into care in our area (cause unstable people tend to move around alot and some biomoms are quite unstable) and IF we had an opening in our home (which we can take 5 and only ever have a max of 2 by choice) and IF the child had done well while in our care previously...... mom would really have no choice. They do not typically allow biomoms to have a say in where their child is placed within the foster care system. If she wants to be sure that her child never comes back to you then she had better parent well is what I say.

I would call my agency and be sure to let them know to place a note in this child's file that you would like to be called first should he come back into care.

Kim

[ANNWILL]

That's exactly what our caseworker and when we went through training told us. Once they leave they ask you do you want them if they come back. We DEFINITELY want ours back-as a matter of fact the whole agency knows this.

[henderfive]

Thanks everyone for your replys, I feel so much better. I do plan on keeping in touch with the CASA worker so she knows we still care very much about him and would love to have him back with us. I was just worried about the mom, she seems to have much more rights then I thought she would. I love this website it has helped me get through some really hard days....Thanks again
Henderfive

[ANNWILL]

Here's the latest-my contact found out for me that they are STILL staying in the shelter. At least our little girl is safe there. I just feel so sorry for her-she was so used to having her own room, own toys, etc and now look at her. Please God please bring her back to us.