[kansasmomof2]

Hi I am new to all of this, my husband and I started the process of becoming foster parents in August of 2005. We had a friend living with us at the time we started the process. We took the MAPP class at that time but waited til we had our house to ourselves before continuing on with the licensing process. We recieved a temporary license on a Friday and the following Wednesday we had 2 children placed in our care. 5 months ago, a 5 year old girl and her now 8 month old baby brother. I am a stay-at-home mom and am not used to having children in my home 24/7, I am an aunt of 23 years and am used to watching my nieces and nephews, but have always been able to send them home to their mothers. Needless to say, I am just a little overwhelmed with all of this and can use some friendly advice.

[chickieboom]

Oh, I can relate. I have just the one and I will tell you the first couple of days I honestly just didn't know what to do next. Advice? I don't know that I have any other than to develop and structure/schedule of the day and stick to it. Kids like routine and do really well when they know what to expect next. My Lil'A was on a twice a day nap routine and that just wasn't working for us. The whole day revolved around naps and she just seemed to not really be sleeping soundly during any of them. Now I have her on one afternoon nap for about two hours and I can get something done in that time; even if it is taking a nap. After she gets up we try to do something fun. Today I took her to a water park and she had a great time and tired herself out. Tired me out too for that matter. She is just learning to walk and she fell on her mouth and scraped and cut her upper lip. She was bleeding and although she recovered quickly I was completely stressed. Funny thing is that after the fall she started walking that much more. Also, I get her to bed at 7:30 so I have a little time to myself. The best thing I have discovered is my local Y which I have been a member for years. They have a kids nursery where you can have your child watched by professional daycare workers for two hours while you work out. Not only does it give me some time to myself, but I am getting in shape and have more energy to run after a one year old! I too am a first time mom and the amount of energy that it takes is surprising. Good luck and trust yourself, the kids will fit into your lifestyle and routine. I am only in my third week of this but it does seem to get easier.

[kansasmomof2]

Thank you for responding, this mommy thing is so new to me and sometimes it seems somewhat overwhelming and I just don't know what to do. I joined this site hoping to find other foster parents who have been through or are going through first placement. Sometimes I feel so inadaquate (not sure of the spelling) and wonder if I am going to be able to continue doing this.

[flyawaynet]

Keep in mind I don't have any experience when you read this! I've just never let that keep me from throwing in my two cents.

Have you ever considered sending the 5 yr old to some type of day care? even for just a half-day?

It'd give you just a little bit more quiet time, (and 1:1 with the 8mo old) and day care can be a lot of fun for kids if they have a good program.

Just a thought...

[kansasmomof2]

I hadn't even concidered anything like that, and it would give her a place to go where she could have a chance to meet other children her age, and make new friends, I'll have to look into that.

Thank you.

[mrskllp]

When my husband and I first started we got 2 little sisters 1 & 3 and let me tell you they were little balls of energy!!!!!! Granted we already had 3 daughters of our own, but it was still different because they were not my children and they did live differently than us so I got VERY overwhelmed at first! I would take the advice of daycare because that would be really good for the little girl and even better for you because you would have time to regroup while she was gone! A lot of daycares have a little headstart program (preschool) and you can enroll them in it and it prepares them for school! She would probably love it because she would get to play with kids her own age and make friends and even learn the things she needed to know for kindergarden! Good luck to you! Remember you are not alone, everyone who is a foster parent can get overwhelmed! Even if they have been doing it for years! Take care!

[kansasmomof2]

You are the second person to suggest looking into a daycare program, I think I'm gonna look into some sort of summer program, once August gets her and school starts up again she will be in all day kidergarten,. She graduated pre-k in May. When we first started the fostercare process I didn't want to work because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, still do, I didn't want the kids to have to come into a strange home and also have to deal with being with other strangers for the better part of a day. FD was going to school and we had to change her school as it was. Now that summer is here I am missing that little time while she was in school. Thank you for you response to my post.