[committedsoul]

Originally Posted by vegaschristina

This is a very interesting thread. Here's my take.

I've been lucky to only work with one birth family. All 3 of my kids are related. When I accepted placement #2, I told the birth mom, when do you plan on getting him back? She told me right away. I was glad, because I really want this woman to get her life straight. She's my pumpkin's b-mom.

She was close to getting Bubba back and she had a relapse. She began working her case plan again, and gave birth to Sissy. Things were looking like RU was going to happen and again, she had a relapse. The last replase was more than she could take, and she took off. Now I have all 3 kids (1 adopted, 2 foster-adopt) and we're heading to TPR. If she had gotten herself together, I would have handed back the kids. I would have cried myself silly, but I would have done it. She doesn't have any family, so I don't have to worry about people popping out of the woodwork.

I have asked this woman for a letter to her oldest child (my pumpkin) so that when she's older I can help her find her b-mom. She hasn't provided it. I asked her to become a good mom for her other 2 kids. She hasn't.

These are not my fault, so when I think ill of her, it is with cause. I will love these kids as if they are my own until a judge tells me to give them back to her. Until and unless that happens, I will continue to love them as my own.

Awesome. Thanks for sharing your point of view. What you are saying is very true. In your case, I know that it would hurt like crazy to have to give them back... but to know that you would if you had to says a lot.