[sdiedre]

I, too, went into the program as foster-adopt. I opted to move to foster when I heard how many kids were stuck in offices and hotel rooms.....I now have a 2yo who will most certainly ru and an infant who will likely be TPR and MAY go to family. If not, I would be honored to adopt her. BTW, I am single and would probably NEVER have even had the option if I hadn't gone into straight fostering.

One concern I have is how often I am seeing fosterers posting about the primary goal of adopting the children. While I do realize that there are many, many parents that should not ru with their children that are some that should.

My advice is to go into it with the plan to enjoy and nurture the children....NOT to keep them. It seems a hard road to travel with the constant fear.

I think of my foster kids as a niece and nephew - much-loved, but not MINE. If, and when adoption is possible, I would certainly say yes. But it is not fair to me or the children to go into this with the constant struggle of "what if". It is already a challenge when M insists on calling me Mama despite my encouraging other options

Does that make sense?

Now, granted, I am new to this and have not yet had to 'give up' a fc - I know it will be hard and I will miss M, but I also know his mom is a good mom (just young) and will take good care of him. I hope that will bring me comfort. Also, I plan to let the mom know I am here for her and M and hope to receive updates on how they are doing.

Let your love for children guide you, and remember the time ANY child spends with you will remain with them forever....it is an honor to be able to have an impact on so many young lives.

[flyawaynet]

Originally Posted by dscarter

I am so scared! We have decided to foster to adopt. We were just doing straight adoption and then flipped midstream, but now, what should I watch out for??? How can I protect my heart. What if I get placement and then fall in love? How can I protect myself, is there a way that I can only foster children that are available? What are your opinions and what would you do differently. I dont want to get blessed with a beautiful child or siblings group to only have them torn from my arms in 5 years?? How can I prevent this? Can you all please give me advice before we go forward?

I just wanted to throw my two cents in... you may already know this or someone may have mentioned it in their comment and maybe I missed it. But, one of the things that was discussed a lot in my training classes was "legal risk" I don't know a whole lot about the system and how they judge these things, but apparently they catagorize the children between high/low legal risk. high legal risk means there's a strong liklihood the child will end up needing adoption.
A lot of the people in my class were talking about doing fost/adopt but only taking in high legal risk kids. And you find this out while you're asking all the details of placement.

I don't know much, so some of what I said might be a bit off, but if you search around I'm sure you'll find more information on legal risk children.

Hope this helps... and if it don't, well, just remember it was only worth 2 cents to me.

[MomofFaith]

Originally Posted by flyawaynet

I just wanted to throw my two cents in... you may already know this or someone may have mentioned it in their comment and maybe I missed it. But, one of the things that was discussed a lot in my training classes was "legal risk" I don't know a whole lot about the system and how they judge these things, but apparently they catagorize the children between high/low legal risk. high legal risk means there's a strong liklihood the child will end up needing adoption.A lot of the people in my class were talking about doing fost/adopt but only taking in high legal risk kids. And you find this out while you're asking all the details of placement.

I don't know much, so some of what I said might be a bit off, but if you search around I'm sure you'll find more information on legal risk children.

Hope this helps... and if it don't, well, just remember it was only worth 2 cents to me.

Actually "High Legal Risk children" are the children that are most likely to reunify with their parents. Low Risk children are the children that are more likely going to be adoptable because the parents are not following their program and a TPR hearing is set.
So you should only look for Low Legal Risk children. That is how it is in California anyway.

[flyawaynet]

Hey, thanks for straightening me out on that one MomofFaith. I hadn't learned too much about it since I'm just in to foster. But I don't want to steer people wrong.

One might say that's why I should keep my mouth shut if I don't know what I'm talking about, but if I did that, how would I ever learn that I didn't know what I was talking about? Just kidding! Thank you!