[kamz7]

We currently have a wonderful foster daughter who is 21 months old and she has been placed with us since she was 6 weeks old. Recently, there has been some discussion about placing her sister (who is to be born on Friday) with us as well. Apparently the birthmother has made some poor judgments that may cause this new baby to go into care. I guess I am looking for input from any of you regarding your experiences as far as the decision for placement when it is made at the time of birth and for caring for 2 under 2. I am excited and terrified at the same time! Thank you!

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I would do it without a second thought. My Bug has a sister who is 2 years older than he is. He has never met her because her a-parents did not want another...although they said they said they supported a bond with the kids after our adoption was complete. That was 8 months ago and we have not heard from them despite trying to contact them. I am one of 5 kids and could never imagine not knowing my sibs. I would say yes and never look back! But then again, my boys are only 2 1/2 months apart and I have had them both since Bug was 4 1/2 months old and Bear 8 weeks. I would never have it any other way...LOVING it!!

[mj77]

I've been contacted twice this year about siblings being born. We have another being born early next year too. We've said no thus far. These moms keep having babies. It wasn't easy for us. It was agony!! Saying No to a Sibling Placement <----Click here to read. I wrote about the pain of saying no. Best to you and your family.

[AmahMama]

I would be there in a heartbeat. Of course, we take sibling groups to start with. Why leave a sibling and take stranger placements? Of course, you have to look out for your "existing" family too. Is there any reason why you would have qualms about adding to your family? I grew up in a large family and loved it. My sibs and I still have a relationship. Why should the children suffer because an adult hasn't been responsible (Bio-M's).

Most of the children that we have share our home are going to adoption - and we know that before we even invited them. The only wait is for the bureaucrats to catch up with them and fit them into their 9-5. And since our children are grown with families - we aren't planning to raise another family. We are only a "port-in-the-storm" for children that have a very rough road to travel from their first breaths. We share our home and lives as long as is necessary. Bless you that adopt!! You are these childrens' only hope.

But back to your question: I always have 2 - under 2 -. They are the easiest to care for in the preschool age group (0-5) which is the group that we tend to stay with. Caring for 2 under 2 is challenging, rewarding, easier as they get older, and mostly just a matter of being flexible. I LOVE doing it. It's no different than a suprise new baby in the home. Years ago - children tended to be about a year and a half apart. And the Mom's survived!!!

Good luck and be sure to update with your decision. I always look back to see what the decisions were.

[kamz7]

Thanks to everybody for your thoughts and own valuable experiences. AmahMama, to answer your question I am struggling with the fact that my husband and I both work and will not be able to take time off when the baby is born, so we will need considerable help. It has been a very stressful year for my husband's career and finances are very tight as well. I guess I am concerned about the added stress right now and just afraid.

[AmahMama]

Newborns are very hard on families where both parents work. Young Children are hard on families where both parents work. Oh, how well I know. You have to do as you feel best, for your existing family as well as for the new baby. Only you know yourself. You have to make the decision - and I know it will be the one that is right for you.

I am sorry that your family is in such stress and turmoil right now. I hope and pray that things will be better for you soon.

[straightblues]

I have a sibling group of 3. Bio parent had another child in February (the 8th child for mom) and we were asked if we wanted him. We said no because the parents are way to hard to deal with.

Our children are 2, 7 & 8. The have a full brother who is 4 who was born drug addicted and adopted out at birth. So all fantasies of having the full sibling group together have already been burst.

I would say do what is right for the three of you. I am sure there are other loving homes that will take a newborn if you don't.

[kamz7]

The baby sister was born on Friday and is just as beautiful as can be. DCFS was notified of the birth and has yet to come out to the hospital to begin their investigation. The mom is supposedly going to be discharged tomorrow, so I am really wondering if they'll make a quick decision or what. Does anyone have any experience with something like this?

[ca-bigsister]

Family and connections are so important to children. If you could take in this child, it would mean so much to each of them to have a brother/sister.

MY FD has a half-brother she met once when she was a baby. He lives in another state and I think that she would love to meet him.

I haven't pursued him because I think that she will be obsessed with him. (she is very impulsive and obsessive). When I think that she can handle it, I will pursue.

FD recently found a lot of baby pictures from grandmother. Though she's been emotional, I think it's good to have a consistent life story.

[momtokelton]

We are in the waiting process of getting a sibling group of 2. 1 is 2, the 2nd is 8, they have 2 other siblings in another home not around ours and they wanted to place them in groups of 2, we have agreed to keep in contact with the other 2, but we are licensed for 3. We should be getting the children in the next day or so. This is our 1st placement. Wish us luck

[kamz7]

Thanks everyone for all your words of encouragement. DCFS did put the baby in protective custody and placed her with us on Tuesday. I am so glad that we decided to take her into our care. Her sister is so excited about "her" baby and because of our relationship with the birthmother she has been able to come out to bond with her and feed her breastmilk. Good luck to you, momtokelton!