[austinrae]

Hey everyone. I am new to the forum but not new to fostering. I only take teenage boys who are mostly delinquent. So I know most likely they will be going back home. We have had great success with that part.

The boy I have now will be going home in June and that is where my problems start. He will not just come right out and say he wants to stay but since he's been here- 1 1/2 years with a 2 month stay at grandmas- he's changed so much for the better.

He's more secure- when ever I hear his birth family talk to him it's completely negative. He's not failing all of his classes- got a job and is sooooo excited nightly when I pick him up.

He's told his therapist how his grandmother is getting meaner and meaner. We can do nothing to get the DCS worker to let him stay if he will not let us adopt him. Of course the loyalty to family will never let that happen.

Last time he was scheduled to leave he got drunk the day before and they still sent him home. If that isn't a call for help I don't know what is.

Well mostly wanted to vent and see if anyone else has been where we are- helps to know your not the only one.

Thanks- Rachele

[twinflana]

I cant believe they wont take into consideration what the boy wants. Maybe someone should smarten up and come straight out and ask your fs what does he want to happen?

[V8 Momma]

How old is he??
Also, if he has a guardian ad litem or CASA, get them in the loop- they should advise the court the child's wishes- especially if he's an older teen I would think what he wants should be heard.
Bless you for taking teens!

[1stMom46FD12]

We fostered a 14 year old boy who was a great fit in our family, although he was only with us a month (probably still in the honeymoon phase). He told us (and everyone else) all along that he really wanted to stay with us. Because of his age, the judge had said it was entirely up to him where he went. When we were facing his mom at court though, he couldn't say it in front of her. I cried the entire hour home.

I found out, from talking to the DJO and his caseworker, that he had a good support system at home that was helping and guiding home and that he mostly operated completely independent of his mom.

In your case find out if he has to face his mom or could have someone else speak for him or possibly speak to the judge privately so that he can share his concerns. Good luck!

[austinrae]

Thanks for that advice- We might be able to work around it- he's been delayed in going home- 2 days before he was to leave he took off- when he called and I picked him up he said I know you have to tell my worker but I hope your not mad at me. That was all he said. They delayed his release date until August- It's things like this that just break my heart.
Rachele

[po]

I know exactly how you feel. Last Thurs. went to court and they wanted to place all of our kids back home. One did not want to return but stay here. Also almost 14. She talked to the judge and he said she could stay another month or two, but not to get too comfortable. Yesterday they came to move the kids and gave her 20 min to pack her clothes. In a letter to the judge she has threatened suicide or running away if she has to go back.
They have moved her and I hear it was a visit and then another foster home. Said they had issues with me. Judge last week praised me as a foster parent. Now I am worried they may never let us foster again. Done this for 20 years and no problems. This one has a sister that is a cronic liar and did not like me. She has lied about me to her mom and mom was just looking to get someone in trouble. I am worried she may carry out or try to her threats.