[sherryk]

Has anyone gone through fost/adopt?

What were your experiences?

How long did it take?

Blessings,
sherryk
moderator

[mckenna]

i am in the process of going through foster-adopt. my son turned 2 at the beginning of may, i have had him since he was 3 months old. we have a tpr hearing on the 6th to terminate his bdad's rights (mom has already relinquished). i think when it is finally over it will be about 2 years from the time he came into care until he is finally adopted. the original plan for him was reunification, so that makes things take longer than if you become involved with the process once the parental rights are terminated. pm me if you want to know any specifics

[lambeausam]

Been there, done that twice.

Son #1: foster care placement at age 2 1/2 years - was only supposed to be 48 hours. Of course, that was over five years ago. TPR 16 months later. Finalization 6 months after that.

Son #2: foster care transfer due to disrupted pre-adoptive placement at 2 1/2 years. Our home was supposed to be a bridge home to an adoptive home. He bonded very quickly and made such impressive developmental strides that we became his adoptive home. TPR was 3 weeks after placement (26 months after initial custody). Guardianship 7 months later. Only thing left is the finalization of the subsidy.

Experiences - Make sure you have an attorney that is well-versed in foster care adoptions. Don't use your brother-in-law's neighbor who happens to be a real estate attorney!

The key to subsidies is documentation - birthfamily history, prenatal history, school records, previous placments, hospitalizations, ER visits, any medical/mental health records or visits, developmental assessments, therapy presently receiving or have received. Make sure the subsidy provides for past, present and future conditions, such as family therapy, dental/medical (especially for children with drug/alcohol exposure), etc. Also, if the child has experienced mutiple placements or is not placed with all known siblings, indicate the likelihood for loss, separation, abandoment issues. Does you child receive special accomodations at day care? Make sure that is noted.

[emeraldlover]

We are in the process of adopting a 9 year old boy. He came to us in September 2001. Bmom's rights terminated in May 2002. She appealed. Finally relinquished in October 2002. Bdad's rights terminated in May 2002. Appealed. Finally relinquished last week. Now we have to go to court sometime in June to sign papers on bdad's relinquishment. Then we wait for a court date for the final adoption. From the time we decided to go through foster/adopt in September 2000, through MAPP training, waiting for homestudy, finding a placement, no preplacement visits (he just moved right in), till the court thing finishes will probably be 3 years.

If they are legally free for adoption it doesn't take as long. Though in Massachusetts the child has to be in your home for 6 months before you can even begin finalization.

I don't really trust his SW - I think sometimes she just wants the case to be closed - he has been in the system since he was 2 years old. And unfortunately with all the budget cuts in Mass. we don't even have our own social worker like we are supposed to.

Let me know if you have any other questions. Would love to be a help.

Melissa

[sherryk]

As the moderator for this forum, I'm trying to generate e-pals for others, hopefully, with the same type of experiences.

It is great to see people jump right in and answer questions! I'm sure there are others out there who would like to know of your experiences and gain an e-pal!

From an experienced adoptive mom!

Blessings,
sherryk
moderator

[lorial]

We've adopted three now and are in the process of our fourth fost adopt.
Winnie came to us looking for an adoptive home at age two. I very nearly turned down Rissa's placement but when I heard how terribly she'd been abused and she was only 5 weeks old I couldn't turn her away. She and Winnie were adopted two years later. We had to fight for Rissa as she is Native American and we are not.
DJ came to us at two days. "He's not your usual special needs kid, Lor. This one's perfect." He was the most obviously FAS kid I'd ever seen and is still my most severely affected of all the many foster babies I've had. His adoption was just finalized this last March a little over two years after we got him.
Anni's parents are relinquishing as they don't think they can parent a child with her special needs (FAS). We're just starting the adoption process with her.

Lor
lorial51@msn.com