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Originally Posted By Rhapsody Turner

I have been in fostercare since July of 1999. I was wondering if there was anybody out there that knows anything about adopting a fosterchild. My sister is only 9 years old and she has been in fostercare for just as long. She has been in several other homes and now her foster family is deciding that they want to adopt her. I am not sure if the rights of my parents are terminated but I am sure they have held court service. I am devistated because I was planning on adopting her when I turned 18, that will be in 2 more years! If you have any commentsd questions or support that you would like to share with me I am willing to accept feedback, especially if someone out there is going through a similar situation. Thankyou!

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Originally Posted By Brook

If I were the one adopting your sister, I'd be more than happy for you to have a continuing relationship with her and with me. In fact, I'd want to get to know you if I adopted your sister.

I adopted a 15 year old Korean girl while I was living in Korea. Her 13 year old sister had just been adopted by another family in our church. I told my daughter then that when she was grown, they could live in the same town or even be roommates, and that being split up didn't have to be the worst thing to happen. I likened it to a kid being 20 and going off to college while her sister of 10 is still at home. The older sister probably never again lives at home permanantly (like you and your sister not living together now.)

Now my daughter is 29 and her sister is 27...and they're roommates in northern Virginia.

No matter what the future brings, your story could turn out just like this one.

I always encouraged my daughter to stay in contact with her younger sister, and even to send a letter to her Korean Mother and Father annually. She didn't want to do it, but I told her that she may one day want to be in contact with them. What if she lost their address or the ability to reach them? She ultimately stayed in touch, and about 10 years later was an officer in the United States Army. She was stationed in Korea...and was so glad that she had contact information for her Korean parents. So was I.

That's what I call a win-win situation.

Regarding your situation, think about this:

It sounds like your 9 year old sister has been in foster care all of her life. You were hoping to adopt her in 2 years, when you're 18. But what makes you think you'll be able to do it? Be able to support yourself, let alone both of you? What if you weren't able to adopt her until you were 20 or 22? Then your sister would have been in foster care for up to 14 years.

Would you really want your sister to be 'kept on HOLD' pending your POSSIBLE ability to adopt her in the future? Do you think she'd be better of with a Mom and Dad vs a teenaged parent figure?

I applaud your devotion to your younger sister! Perhaps the ideal scenario would be where you're a welcome guest in her adoptive home in the future. Would that be so terrible?

I welcome you to drop me a line. My email address is quiksmyle@aol.com.

From my perspective, I'd hope that any child in foster care wouldn't have to wait 9 or 10 years before being classified as adoptable, and then being adopted. I think the parents should be given 12-18 months to get their act together. Then, if they don't, an adoptive home should be sought for them.

By the way, is Rhapsody really your first name? If so, it's lovely!! And you never did mention which state you live in.

What a loving sister you are! If your younger sister is adopted, I do believe that adoptive parents are asked to allow contact with siblings not adopted with her. I hope that will be so!

Sincerely...Brook