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Old 08-26-2013, 06:31 AM
TemporaryMom TemporaryMom is offline
Forever Mommy To Chubbs
Join Date: Mar 2011
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what do you call the day you bring your foster/adopt child home?

Today is the two year anniversary of bringing home my little Chubbs. I actually held him the first time the day before but they kept him one more night. I want to recognize the day each year but what to call it. I know in private Adoption world they often refer to it as "Gotcha Day" but I am not comfortable with that nomenclature. We complain all if the time about what our foster children go through all because they are considered the "property" if their birth parents. So using a word that implies ownership doesn't sit right with me.

So, what do you call it?
No Longer Just a Temporary Mother
AS Chubbs

Former Placements:

Mr. Blue Eyes (aka BE) - 8 months older than AS - 2 years 2 months 1 day
Princess and her sis Monkey - 2 years
Respite: Big Sis and Lil Sis - 10 days
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Old 08-26-2013, 06:37 AM
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HopingForForever HopingForForever is offline
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Well, in our adoption announcements, I will refer to that day as "placed in our arms" but as far as what to call it? I don't know. I think "gotcha" day really is only appropriate for international adoption or possibly straight adoption from foster care because the day isn't hooked to anyone else's pain.
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Old 08-26-2013, 06:50 AM
EdyDedd EdyDedd is offline
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I have the same feeling about the "gotcha" term with children from foster care. To me, it sounds like snatching someone against their will. Here, we call our anniversary "Family day" and we celebrate by doing a family activity. You could also call it something playful like "familyversary" or "Chubbs day".

ETA: Congrats on your two years together
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:27 AM
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MountainMommy MountainMommy is offline
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Most of my friends involved with foster care say "gotcha day." I think people are reading too much into it. It's the day you went and pick up the child, the day you got them. Got simple means received. It's also a nationally recognized term.

That being said, does the day need a name? You can simple tell your child you are celebrating the day they joined your family. You don't have to name it. In our house we will remember it, but I doubt very much we'll celebrate it. We'll celebrate adoption day and the children's birthdays.
6/25/12- Initial inquiry into adoption
10/11/12 Officially on the list

12/2012 Got the call for twin girls, age three
8/2013 Got the call for a boy, age 15 months

10/14 switched from FFA to County

1 bio son
1 adopted son- Placed 09/2013, Adopted 4/2014

Not in our home, but in our hearts - Twin A and B, age five 12/12-11/13
Many emergency and short term placements
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:46 AM
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wendy_bird23 wendy_bird23 is offline
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I've thought about calling it "Welcome day" since it was the day I welcomed them into my home or "Together day" since it was the first day we were together as a family.
Current Placements:
"Squeak" born April 2012, delivered to my door at 2am one rainy night in October 2012
"Minnow" home from the hospital early October 2013 at 8 days old (6 weeks premature)
"Rapunzel" almost 11. Moved in Jan 2015

Former placements:
Bitty Baby, 2 months old (but only 7 lbs!), multiple respites 2014
Teddy Bear 1 year old, respite winter 2014
Siblings "Star" age 8 and "Clam" age 5 -Weekend Respite January 2014
Siblings "Twinkle" born Oct 2009 and "Pudding" born May 2011 arrived at my home Aug 1 2013, moved to grandparents 5 days later
"Teeny" born July 2011 delivered to my door at 3 days old, RUed 20 months later in March 2013
"Big Sister" 6 and "Little Brother" 3 -emergency placement 8/3/12-8/6/12
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:55 AM
dac_cincy dac_cincy is offline
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We call it family day and my son was adopted internationally. I wil keep the same term when (fingers crossed) we add a brother to our family thru foster/adoption.

For me, though, the day is the day we came home to the US becuase until then, I was so afraid one more thing was going to go wrong, including immigration saying he could not come into the US.

Little Bug born: 15Aug2005
Adoption plan for Little Bug made: 16Aug2005
Referral received: 28Mar2006
135 days in FC
214 in PGN/Investigations
457 days in process (dossier to home coming)
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:26 AM
Daniotra Daniotra is offline
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We have "the day we first met", and "the day you came home from the hospital".
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:21 AM
swd swd is offline
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We call it "the day you came home." So, Homecoming, maybe, if you want a real name for it? Although we really don't celebrate it. We acknowledge the day their adoptions became final and their birthdays, and another "day" seems like too much for us. (We're not good at planning celebrations, so maybe that's part of it...)

I hate the term "Gotcha Day" for all adoption scenarios. IDK why, I know it's popular and widely-accepted, but it rubs me the wrong way. Maybe for the same reason that it implies receipt for property/ownership. Although I do tell my kids that they are mine forever, and I am theirs. They do own my heart. But somehow that's different....
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:36 AM
bjolly bjolly is offline
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we just call it our/her anniversary. that's always made sense to us.
Part of a 2 mom family and proud mother of a beautiful 17 yo girl from foster care.
AND now mom to her 22 year old brother
who I only wish had come home to us sooner.
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:47 AM
Hopefullivin Hopefullivin is offline
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We call it the "day you came to stay" I celebrate with my AK and my fosters who stay a year or longer. The day is about remembering when we all first met and entered into each other's lives -whether that is forever or just a period of time - it is still a blessing to have been a part of each others lives and got a chance to meet.

We celebrate our meeting each other and not focus on the circumstances; although this has always been a part of the dicussions of the day. My adopted kiddos love to hear the story of how I "got the call" and what I was doing that day before they came and how I called everyone to tell them they were coming. Its sort of like their "birth story" for our family. The kids who remember also like to tell what they were going through that day. The stories always end though with fun of getting to know each other.

Its not a big hoopla. We have make your own sundaes on the "day you came to stay" and usaully I let the honoree chose the dinner. We actually do this day up more than the actual adoption day.
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:48 AM
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LoveBeingMama LoveBeingMama is offline
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I call it "The Day My Life Changed, Forever!"

Because it is so close to her birthday, I was placed with Li'l Singer when she was three days old, I will probably keep that my day to celebrate. However, it will always be part of her story, but we will celebrate her birthday and finalization.
Licensed - July 2012
1st Placement - August 2012
Li'l Singer 3 day old girl -
TPR February 2013
March - September waited for the redacted files
November 19, 2013 - We are now a Forever and Ever and Two Days Family

Current Placement July 2014
Li'l Abner (Li'l Singer's half? brother) - Six weeks old
Goal: Adoption by us

Former Placement May - July 2014
Sunny - 3 year old
Placed with sibling at Kinship home
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:59 AM
irq11 irq11 is offline
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I hate the term "Gotcha Day" too. I've never really thought about any other terms because even if the foster care situation ends in adoption it still seems a crappy thing to celebrate. I guess depending on the situation it might be different. In your case because Chubbs had been abandoned by his birth mom I could see where you would want to celebrate him going to what you already knew was going to be his forever home.
No bios; 6yo AS (formerly our nephew)
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:55 AM
Reo Reo is offline
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We celebrate "move-in day" with our teen - so far it is monthly (she is the one tracking it) and an excuse to have cake for dessert!
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Old 08-26-2013, 04:49 PM
missypea missypea is offline
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Originally Posted by Reo
We celebrate "move-in day" with our teen - so far it is monthly (she is the one tracking it) and an excuse to have cake for dessert!

Monthly? That's funny.

I've been thinking a lot about this question as well and trying to decide whether we should celebrate "Homecoming Day" or "Adoption Day" or both. It seems kind of "excessive" to celebrate both of them and a birthday. By the time I have 9 kids or so , I won't be able to remember all of those dates. Baby Girl came in Oct and was adopted in Oct so that would be two celebrations in one months. We just got done doing a birthday marathon (one in July, one in Aug) and so I'm not sure that I want to do that again.

What do you all do for your special days?
Foster/Adoptive since Sept. 2011
me: stay-at-home knitting mama / DH: bluegrass playing papa / married since 2005

Adopted Children:
Baby Girl (3)- entered home in Oct. 2011 (3 months); adopted in Oct. 2012 (15 months)
Lil Man (2)- entered home in Dec. 2012 (3 months); adopted in Feb 2014 (18 months)

Foster Children:
Beany Baby (1 year)- entered home in Oct 2013 (2 days old); TPR granted (Feb 2015)
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:04 PM
EdyDedd EdyDedd is offline
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We celebrate adoption day, not move-in day. (That's actually what I had in mind when I posted my earlier reply...that's the day we call "family day".)

We don't do a a big "birthday"-type occasion. We do a family activity and about half the years we have done a sentimental-type gift.
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