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  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:11 PM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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got a call - first respite

Got a call for respite for a boy age 3. We will have him for a week or two. Hubby hasn't been so sure about doing respite but I think it helps with the wait. Not to mention it helps the other fps out as well as our agency and the sweet kids. So...he will join us today or tomorrow! This is our first respite and first 3 year old fc. Any suggestions to help him be less scared? He is very attached to FM.FM is in tears and doesn't want to do this but it is a cps forced respite for a safety plan for this little guy. (Issue with other child in home). Any great ideas are welcomed!
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  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 04:28 PM
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elizabeth30 elizabeth30 is offline
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The respite kids are usually really adaptable that I have had. It's harder for the fp to leave them... I would find out what they like to eat, bed time, any problems they are working on for consistency. I usually let them pick out an animal pillow to sleep with and let the kids know how long they will be staying. If they have a hard time and are to young to understand, I make a chart with boxes of how many days they will be at my house until they go back to whatever they call their fp and I have them put a sticker on each day. The boys usually love cars, trucks, puzzles etc for that age.
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Old 01-26-2013, 04:38 PM
hope2bmomof9 hope2bmomof9 is offline
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Are you sure he will only be there a week or 2???? CPS forced respite is scary!!! I know a couple who's FSs were placed in emergency respite and they never saw them again.......
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Old 01-26-2013, 04:52 PM
cedarsleeping cedarsleeping is offline
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You might want to check in to more details re: the issues with the other boy. I.e. who is hurting who? In my experience, generally it is the more challenging child that is moved to forced respite. Just don't want you to be surprised. Even if he is difficult, he will likely be fine for a respite situation, and if his issues are security based, might do better with you than having to share with another child.
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Old 01-26-2013, 05:03 PM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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The other child is a sibling and is hurting this child. They want this little guy safe while they determine where they will be moving the other one to. They are discussing moving the other one to a therapeutic home. My little guy is not having any behavior issues right now. He should return home to fp as soon as they come up with a solution. They told me only a week or two. I didn't know a respite could be longer than a week or two. I really like all the ideas so far!
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:28 PM
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Sounds like a good first situation. What a hard time for the FP's though. They can call him nightly right? Are they a pre-adoptive home? It must be hard on them to have to move the safe child.
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  #7  
Old 01-27-2013, 06:26 PM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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Yes, this is very hard on them. They can call him nightly. He is here and is such a sweetie pie! He has done great so far !
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  #8  
Old 01-27-2013, 06:28 PM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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They are not a pre adoptive home but I bet as attached as they are they will adopt if given the opportunity to.
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  #9  
Old 01-28-2013, 10:31 AM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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I have nicknamed him Speedy. Speedy seems like he is used to getting his way all of the time. Other than that he is a great kid. What to do with a three year old that says no and runs around and away from you like crazy when he doesn't want to do something. He never slows down and likes the word no. He's got a great sense of humor and seems smart for his age.
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  #10  
Old 01-28-2013, 01:02 PM
cedarsleeping cedarsleeping is offline
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Glad it's working out for you. For this age, if I need something done, I often present it like this:

"When you have put the blocks away, we will have lunch/go to park/play tag."

Ask child to get dressed. Before child says "no", add, "When you are done, we're going to ..." and list some of the things that will happen today. At this point, remove yourself from the situation (if safe; if not, remove your attention to examining things on a bookshelf).

Even better, don't ask to get dressed if you know that will warrant a "NO!" -- lay clothes on bed, and say "Here are your clothes. When they are on, we are going to ...." If child says, "No, I'm not getting dressed," respond in a low key way, "Oh! Okay then, I guess we won't be able to ...." and walk away.

Basically, if you can get these littles looking forward to the next thing, and present things in a way that there isn't a yes/no answer, you will minimize battles :-). We take this age a lot!

Edited to add: SO glad things worked out -- seems like a great first placement! We did quite a bit of relief when we started out -- gave us an idea of where we had skills ... and where we didn't lol.
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Last edited by cedarsleeping : 01-28-2013 at 01:15 PM.
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  #11  
Old 01-28-2013, 02:12 PM
wannababy4 wannababy4 is offline
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Thanks so much for the great help cedarsleeping ! I've been trying to give him choices and that helps a lot....like do you want to brush your teeth first or get your jammies on? So I love the looking forward to the next thing ideas and not giving yes/no situations. Immediately going to try your ideas. My fp friend says he will test rboundaries too because its new. I have 3 Bio kids and I thought three was the hardest age....that is until my daughter started with her monthly visitor. Ha ha. I am always learning better and new parenting skills. Wish I knew what I know now when my oldest was born!
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Carebear
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Cappy Adopted!
Dimples Adopted!

Former placements:
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"munchkin" 1
"speedy" 3yrs
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