Adoption Forums®

Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums.
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-26-2013, 06:41 AM
ready4ourbabies ready4ourbabies is offline
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 53
Total Points: 16,072.03
Donate
Adopting from a single dying parent while fostering?

I got a call from a friend that someone at there church was trying to find adoptive parents for her 2 and 5 year old before she dies of cancer

If the children are not in state custody can she just sign the kids over to us in her will or do we still have to go through state process?

And if this were even was to happen would it effect us being able to foster? We just now are finishing up license and should be getting calls starting next week...

Just word of mouth right now so I know this may not even happen but if it starts playing out just wondering what to expect.
Reply With Quote
Adoption Information
Become an adoption forums premium member to enjoy these Membership Benefits:
  • Remove Advertising
  • Unlimited Arcade
  • Unlimited Attachments
  • Increased PM Storage
  • Calendar Posting
  • Larger Avatars
  • Personal Page
  • Just $19.95 / yr!
Looking to Adopt?
New Jersey
Click here to visit Douglas M. Pine, LLC
Douglas Pine represents adoptive families in every county throughout New Jersey. Mr Pine earned his reputation by providing personal attention to every adoption.
Douglas M. Pine, LLC
(973) 748-8887   Fax (973) 748-3999

  #2  
Old 01-26-2013, 06:57 AM
TemporaryMom TemporaryMom is offline
Forever Mommy To Chubbs
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 6,402
Total Points: 479,355.35
Donate
It would be a private adoption, and yes, she can sign them over. You'd be required to notify the agency because they need to know your capacity and also about who is in your house.

If this looks like a serious option, I'd ask to be put on hold. At least until you meet the mom and see if you are an option. The last thing that those poor kids will need is dealing with a foster sibling.

Cannot imagine the pain that woman is going through.
__________________
=================================
No Longer Just a Temporary Mother
Children:
AS Chubbs

Current Placement:
Mr. Blue Eyes - 8 months older than AS - goal: Adoption By Me!/Concurrent Reunification/Family Custody - Who the H knows????

Former Placements:
Princess and her sis Monkey - 2 years
Respite: Big Sis and Lil Sis - 10 days
****************************************************************************************
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-26-2013, 07:14 AM
NotDoneYet NotDoneYet is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,119
Total Points: 124,644.97
Donate
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?
__________________
OUR KIDDOS
Fisherman, 13 nephew (Granted guardianship Sept. 2013)
Legoman, 10
Fancy Nancy, 9 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Mr. Monk, 8
Angelina Ballerina, 7
Superman, 5 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Xena Warrior Princess, 3 (Granted guardianship January 2012!)
Gerber baby, 8 months (complicated family situation )



PAST KIDDOS
Teddy Bear, infant: October 2011-Feburary 2012 Went to relatives, sad for us but happy for them!
Ash, 12 and Pikachu, 10 (5/2012-1/2013)Adopted by an out-of-state family!
Marley, 4 Prince 3 and Queenie, 1 (6/2013-1/2014) Moved to grandma

RESPITE
17 yo boy
12 yo girl 8 yo boy, 5 yo boy
14 yo girl, 10 yo girl and 6 yo boy (sibs to Ash and Pikachu!)
15 yo girl
3 yo boy
12 yo twin boys
15 yo and her 16 mos old twin girls
2 yo girl and 1 yo boy
5 yo boy, 2 yo boy
9 yo girl, 5 yo boy
Licensed June 24, 2011
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-26-2013, 07:14 AM
NotDoneYet NotDoneYet is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,119
Total Points: 124,644.97
Donate
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?
__________________
OUR KIDDOS
Fisherman, 13 nephew (Granted guardianship Sept. 2013)
Legoman, 10
Fancy Nancy, 9 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Mr. Monk, 8
Angelina Ballerina, 7
Superman, 5 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Xena Warrior Princess, 3 (Granted guardianship January 2012!)
Gerber baby, 8 months (complicated family situation )



PAST KIDDOS
Teddy Bear, infant: October 2011-Feburary 2012 Went to relatives, sad for us but happy for them!
Ash, 12 and Pikachu, 10 (5/2012-1/2013)Adopted by an out-of-state family!
Marley, 4 Prince 3 and Queenie, 1 (6/2013-1/2014) Moved to grandma

RESPITE
17 yo boy
12 yo girl 8 yo boy, 5 yo boy
14 yo girl, 10 yo girl and 6 yo boy (sibs to Ash and Pikachu!)
15 yo girl
3 yo boy
12 yo twin boys
15 yo and her 16 mos old twin girls
2 yo girl and 1 yo boy
5 yo boy, 2 yo boy
9 yo girl, 5 yo boy
Licensed June 24, 2011
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-26-2013, 08:19 AM
OhioFosterMom OhioFosterMom is offline
"OFM"
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,281
Total Points: 118,984.93
Donate
get a lawyer

get a lawyer . Some agencies will transfer your homestudy to a private adoption agency for a fee, BUT some private adoption agencies won't accept a county homestudy.

I'm really not sure that going through CPS and the county is the right avenue. It's not abuse, neglect or "safe haven" but a good lawyer could help you with all of it...

A foster agency will not permit you to have 2 homestudies at once, so tell your agency only once you are 100% sure. Either way, you don't want to ignore an important detail and lose both opportunities----so a lawyer is important.
__________________
OFM
Firecracker II , 11/2012 - 2/2013 9 months. Placed with relatives.

5/2013 Emergency placement of sibling group of two for 3 days. To relatives.

Sophie (2 yr.) and Neela (3 1/2 yrs.) 7/2013 - 5/14 Both mild special needs children Reunified with relatives.
Licensed and hoping to become an advocate for FPs.

(Note: details on posts changed to protect confidentiality)

Last edited by OhioFosterMom : 01-26-2013 at 08:22 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:02 AM
TemporaryMom TemporaryMom is offline
Forever Mommy To Chubbs
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 6,402
Total Points: 479,355.35
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioFosterMom
get a lawyer . Some agencies will transfer your homestudy to a private adoption agency for a fee, BUT some private adoption agencies won't accept a county homestudy.

I'm really not sure that going through CPS and the county is the right avenue. It's not abuse, neglect or "safe haven" but a good lawyer could help you with all of it...

A foster agency will not permit you to have 2 homestudies at once, so tell your agency only once you are 100% sure. Either way, you don't want to ignore an important detail and lose both opportunities----so a lawyer is important.

Why would she even need a homestudy for private person to person adoption? I can sign papers and give anyone permission to adopt Chubbs. Just need an atty. they don't need to have a homestudy done.
__________________
=================================
No Longer Just a Temporary Mother
Children:
AS Chubbs

Current Placement:
Mr. Blue Eyes - 8 months older than AS - goal: Adoption By Me!/Concurrent Reunification/Family Custody - Who the H knows????

Former Placements:
Princess and her sis Monkey - 2 years
Respite: Big Sis and Lil Sis - 10 days
****************************************************************************************
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:15 AM
aka.mama.k's Avatar
aka.mama.k aka.mama.k is offline
"Kay"
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 641
Total Points: 57,556.07
Donate
I'm named as guardian for my youngest sibling (still a minor) in my parents will. My understanding is that if anything happens to them, she would come live here without any fuss or much paperwork. That's why people name guardians, right?

Of course, then I'd have to update my home study for fostering to reflect that she's here. And her moving in might be considered a major life event where I would have to wait a while before fostering again or something.
__________________
---
mom to DD (11)
guardian to Gothboy (16)
Current placements:
Berry (4) & Daredevil (17) - arrived 6/1, goal: age out of care with D a responsible mom
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:16 AM
LemonPie's Avatar
LemonPie LemonPie is offline
Florida GAL (aka CASA)
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,640
Total Points: 26,268.90
Donate
Is the father deceased or had his rights terminated by the courts? If he's simply "out of the picture", his role/rights will have to be addressed.

You don't have to go through CPS for this type of adoption, but you do have to go through a legal process involving attorneys and court.
Reply With Quote

  #9  
Old 01-26-2013, 09:18 AM
BestMomEver BestMomEver is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 6,175
Total Points: 197,267.18
Donate
You would likely still need a homestudy unless you are a relative. You still need a homestudy for a private adoption. You do not need one for guardianship, which is what she could include in her will. A lot of times when a parent dies is actually guardianship that the next parent takes. The other parent is still their parent, their parents have just died. You wouldn't want to terminate her rights or connection.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:42 PM
ProspectiveSingleMom's Avatar
ProspectiveSingleMom ProspectiveSingleMom is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 416
Total Points: 27,106.06
Donate
Considering what I've seen with relatives and clients who died of cancer, this person will likely become unable to care for the kids on her own before she dies. In that case, going through the process of a private adoption may be a good idea, and the adoptive parent(s) could still allow visitation with her until she dies.

You'll definitely need to find out more details before you can make any sort of commitment, such as the bio father situation, whether there are other extended family members who might want the kids, the specific type of cancer and prognosis.

I wouldn't mention anything to your agency until you find out more.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-26-2013, 12:54 PM
LemonPie's Avatar
LemonPie LemonPie is offline
Florida GAL (aka CASA)
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,640
Total Points: 26,268.90
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProspectiveSingleMom
Considering what I've seen with relatives and clients who died of cancer, this person will likely become unable to care for the kids on her own before she dies. In that case, going through the process of a private adoption may be a good idea, and the adoptive parent(s) could still allow visitation with her until she dies.

Depending on the state, there might also be a guardianship option where mom doesn't have to give up her rights before death.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-26-2013, 01:20 PM
RhondaBear RhondaBear is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 401
Total Points: 20,906.11
Donate
If the children are adopted before the mother dies I'd guess that they would lose their rights to any inheritance or life insurance since they would no longer be her children? That might affect possible SSI benefits they might get as well. Maybe you could take guardianship and complete the adoption later so that the children get all that they are entitled to.

What a horrible situation for that family. I hope that they can find the best outcome for the children and that the mother is able to be at peace with it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:19 PM
ready4ourbabies ready4ourbabies is offline
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 53
Total Points: 16,072.03
Donate
Thanks for the info. The father is deceased. Its very sad, I haven't heard anymore about it so don't know if they will even need us to help with the children but I just feel horrible for them.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-26-2013, 05:32 PM
wren24 wren24 is offline
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 80
Total Points: 17,948.16
Donate
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotDoneYet
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?

No. You can name a guardian in the will, but the courts will take that as a guideline, and not follow it blindly.

For example, if there is a biological father, then he will get custody no matter who is named in the will unless he is proven to be completely unfit.

I've heard of a terrible situation where a poor woman dying of cancer was trying to provent her abusive ex-husband from getting the kids when she died. The ex-husband had nothing to do with the kids, but wanted to social security money the kids would have and to just be vindictive jerk. All the mom's relatives would be able to do was wait until the biological father was abusive to the kids and CPS to pull the kids from the house for them to get custody.

In short, kids cannot be willed. They aren't property.
Reply With Quote
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:23 AM.