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  #1  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:24 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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Cant stop crying

This is the story of the night Doc was removed from my care simply because his county worker wanted him moved. I am now trying to get him back through fighting CPS in court. Doc is pre adoptive and his mother asked me to adopt him.

The night Doc was taken I had to drive him to a strangers house and drop him off. On that night it was raining very hard. As we made the 30 min drive I reached into the back seat and held his little hand the entire drive. He was silent. That afternoon as I was frantically calling everyone and anyone who could stop the removal of Doc I was stoic in my voice, or tried to be at least with the FFA people. I feared they would think I was a lunatic. In between calls I would wail in my little apartment and Doc would track me with his eyes. At times he would begin to cry simply because I was crying. (Thank god for the neighbor girls coming over to distract him after I bum rushed the three of them and herded them into my living room so they could distract Doc.) As I made phone call after phone call I was torn because I was knew I was missing the last few moments of time with Doc.

At 3:45pm I was supposed to have been at the FFA office to hand him over. At 3:45pm I called back to the FFA and said I will not being bringing him in. I had forwarded legal documentation to them showing them that I was entitled to a 7 day written notice of the removal of any child if they were not in danger. Doc was clearly not in any form of danger. He was loved, thriving, and safe. With a single phone call my life was redirected. I went from a very typical foster mother to someone who needed to fight for this baby.

At 4:30pm I met with a lawyer at her home office. Doc was asleep in his car seat when we arrived but woke up once we got inside and her dog began to lick his little feet. Doc was wearing a Carters elephant onsies which said “I love Mommy” which was always weird to dress him in. While sitting in the lawyers office, feeding him a bottle, I got a very angry phone call from the CPS social workers supervisor. At that point I had no intention of handing him over to anyone that night because I knew what was taking place was based on retaliation from CPS for having started looking into how to take legal action and get what is called a “Do Not Remove” order so that I could fight them and not risk Doc being taken. The CPS social worker had been tipped off to this by the home health nurse who just weeks before had told me she thought that I should fight for him to be kept in my home. As the supervisor threatened to remove my foster license and call the police on me I remained very flat in my tone of voice. Repeating over and over “Sir, what you are intending to do is illegal.” “I understand that you may try to take my foster care license but I am also very aware that I am capable of getting another one in a different county.” “I have done nothing to harm this child.” And he heard the exact same thing from the lawyer who I handed the phone to after he decided to cycle back into the same bull**** for the third time.

I left the lawyers office with legal paper work to serve on everyone involved on Monday. CPS used the exact same tactic they always use when making illegal removals of children. They removed Doc on a Friday and late enough into the day that the county courthouse would be closing. My mom had come to my house by this point to take my dog to her house in case I was going to be arrested.

By the time I got into the car Doc was asleep again and it was 7:00pm. I pulled to the side of the street under a freeway over pass because it was raining again. Getting out of the car so that I would not wake Doc up I got on the phone with NyD and other FFA workers. While talking to NyD the director of the FFA was on the phone with a very mad CPS supervisor. As far as I know at this time he was threatening to have be arrested for kidnapping. (The very first phone call to my FFA from the CPS social worker at 2:45pm she was threatening to call the police to have them come and take Doc from my house. The ***** knew she was breaking the law.) As it became more and more real that if I did not take Doc to his THIRD foster home I would be arrested. If the police came Doc would have been taken from my house by a stranger and it did not want to put him through this. He needed to be handed over to the newest foster parents by me and not police.

I stood under the over pass and agreed to put Doc into what was going to technically be labeled “Respite Care.” From my understanding this was agreed upon by the CPS supervisor and I would go to court on Monday to start to get him back.

I stopped crying for that time. I drove home to pack up enough things to get Doc through what I had hoped to be a 72 hour respite placement. My mother was still at my house and I asked her to leave so I could be with Doc alone.

By the time we got into the car it was around 7:45pm. I reached into the back seat to hold Doc’s little chubby hand. I talked to him the entire drive to L&R’s. Telling him that I am really sorry that I failed him. I was sorry her was going to have to go sleep at someone else’s house. That I loved him and would try my ****edest to get him back home. I remember making a continuous effort to drive way under the speed limit to stretch out the moments that I still had him. He was sleep when I unloaded him from the car. I stopped to look at him half way up the driveway. I knocked on L&R’s front door and was greeted by an older lady who was very cold to me. I felt like she was expecting me to hand him to her at the doorstep. I was sobbing by this time again.

Standing in her entry way I could see her husband sitting on the couch next to a blonde headed little boy. I wanted her to invite me in and ask me to sit on her couch. But she did not. She did not speak to me. I had gotten Doc out of his brand new car seat I’d bought for him two days before. He was awake and staring into my eyes the exact way he did the his first foster mother then day I was sent to take him from her. (Friday night at 4:45pm. Exact same MO.) He was still as I held him to my chest and tears streamed down my cheeks and onto his hair. I think I stood in the entry way for about 5 minutes with L not saying a word to me and R sat on their couch watching TV, not bothering to look at me.

I ran down Doc facts. Telling her he had not had a bath yet tonight and please give him one. “Doc likes water. He only cries if he needs to be fed. He eats 4 oz every 3 hours. Allergic to dairy based formula. Will only sleep on his stomach. Wakes up at 1am, 3am, and ready for the day to start by 6am.” I kissed him on his lips and told him I am so sorry and loved him.

His hair was wet when I handed him over to L from my tears landing on his head.

I said thank you to L. Turned around and left. Forgetting the car seat I had just bought I turned around and he was sitting on L’s lap starring at me.


I dont know how to do this and I hate my county! It is not getting any easier emotionally.
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  #2  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:35 PM
TRas TRas is offline
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I'm sorry for your experience. What was the reason he was moved. I know you said the worker just wanted him moved, but what was their reasoning? How old is he? How long had he lived with you? Why was he moved from the initial foster home?
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  #3  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:42 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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They literally had no reason to give me as to why he was moved aside from the CSW said to me on our first visit "Do not say the word adoption to me because I plan to move him every time a foster mother says it to me so no foster parent gains rights to him." She took him from his first foster mother for the exact same reason. Doc is now 7 months old. I had him from 2 months old until 5 months old.
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  #4  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:42 PM
PinkStar412 PinkStar412 is offline
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Im sorry that you are hurting, but I agree with pp. What was the reason for removal? CPS doesnt remove children for no reason...has tpr already occurred? If not, perhaps its not supporting RU? Im new at all of this but something just doesn't add up.
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Miracle Baby 4 aka "Rabbit" , 8 months old-((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Congenital Heart Defect but the busiest little bee!>


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  #5  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:52 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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Absolutely nothing adds up. TPR is going to take place in March. Bio mom has asked me to adopt him and that is when i went ahead with letting csw know that I wanted him. There is no family who is wanting to adopt him. Mom does not come for visits often and when she does she is fresh off the streets, intoxicated, does not want to get him back, and csw has tried to expedite tpr. Nothing adds up with this case but its not surprising seeing as I am fostering for a county that is ranks one of the top 5 worst CPS agencies in the USA.
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  #6  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:56 PM
TRas TRas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingDoc
They literally had no reason to give me as to why he was moved aside from the CSW said to me on our first visit "Do not say the word adoption to me because I plan to move him every time a foster mother says it to me so no foster parent gains rights to him." She took him from his first foster mother for the exact same reason. Doc is now 7 months old. I had him from 2 months old until 5 months old.

That's a very weird thing to say. I mean it's not weird that she doesn't want you talking about/pushing for adoption (most CW don't want that). But it's weird that she said she was going to move him (and has moved him) so that no foster parent gains rights to him. Most CW try to keep moves to a minimum.

What stage is the case in? Has TPR happened or is it scheduled to happen any time soon?

What rights do you have legally that you are seeing a lawyer? I have never heard of a foster parent having the right to fight for a child that only lived with them 3 months.
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  #7  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:56 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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He was removed from his first foster mother when her ex husband had false allegations against her. None of her other foster children were removed and Doc should of gone back to her because the allegations were proven false within one week of his removal.
Thankfully I have have a lawyer who has beaten cases exactly like mine offer to take on my case pro bono. I have filed an appeal with the courts.
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  #8  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:57 PM
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elizabeth30 elizabeth30 is online now
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It makes no sense that they would remove him based off of the information that you have given. I agree with pp questions. I'm sorry that they took Doc... There would have to be a really good reason if he was pre-adopt because they do not like to disrupt babies once they are placed in a permanent home unless they are ru or moving to family.
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  #9  
Old 01-21-2013, 08:59 PM
PinkStar412 PinkStar412 is offline
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I thought he was removed because she mentioned adopting?
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Miracle Baby aka "Pooh Bear", 2 years old- 07/22/13-Goal: Concurrent, expecting TPR in June <Medically Fragile but a feisty little firecracker!>

Miracle Baby 2 aka "Piglet" , 2 years old- 12/4/13- Goal RU/Concurrent <Medically Fragile but mama's sweet boy!>

"Blue" , 17 years old- 2/2/14 to present, Goal: Official goal still "RU" but at court in June it will change to adoption by us


In Transition:

Miracle Baby 3 aka "Roo" , 8 months old- ((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Developmentally Delayed but the cutest bug you'll ever meet!>

Miracle Baby 4 aka "Rabbit" , 8 months old-((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Congenital Heart Defect but the busiest little bee!>


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  #10  
Old 01-21-2013, 09:01 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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Foster parents have the right to file for what is called De Facto Parenting status and because he is so young the typical 4 month period of a child being in your care does not apply. The way the laws around de facto is wrote there is no specific time period that is required but 4 months is typically how long you need to have the child in your home for before even being considered. TPR is in March. Permanency is what foster care is about, either adoption or reunification. In 2009 my county was investigated and found guilty of negligence and my county literally continues to flat out loose children who are supposed to be under the eye of csw.
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  #11  
Old 01-21-2013, 09:03 PM
PinkStar412 PinkStar412 is offline
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Also i googled "top 5 worst cps agencies" and nothing came up. I have never heard of them ranking cps agencies. Where did u get that information because i would be interested in looking up my local agencies.
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Placements:
Current:
Miracle Baby aka "Pooh Bear", 2 years old- 07/22/13-Goal: Concurrent, expecting TPR in June <Medically Fragile but a feisty little firecracker!>

Miracle Baby 2 aka "Piglet" , 2 years old- 12/4/13- Goal RU/Concurrent <Medically Fragile but mama's sweet boy!>

"Blue" , 17 years old- 2/2/14 to present, Goal: Official goal still "RU" but at court in June it will change to adoption by us


In Transition:

Miracle Baby 3 aka "Roo" , 8 months old- ((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Developmentally Delayed but the cutest bug you'll ever meet!>

Miracle Baby 4 aka "Rabbit" , 8 months old-((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Congenital Heart Defect but the busiest little bee!>


Short and Long Term Respites:
5s
8s

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www.cafepress.com/TheGrangerBunch
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  #12  
Old 01-21-2013, 09:04 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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She (first foster mother) was told he was removed on the base of the abuse allegations but the csw told me it was because of her mentioning adoption. Thats why non of her other foster children were moved along with Doc.

This is a very blurry and screwed up mess.
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  #13  
Old 01-21-2013, 09:07 PM
MissingDoc MissingDoc is offline
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it was released within an internal investigation that came out in our local news paper in 2010.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:11 PM
PinkStar412 PinkStar412 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingDoc
Foster parents have the right to file for what is called De Facto Parenting status and because he is so young the typical 4 month period of a child being in your care does not apply. The way the laws around de facto is wrote there is no specific time period that is required but 4 months is typically how long you need to have the child in your home for before even being considered. TPR is in March. Permanency is what foster care is about, either adoption or reunification. In 2009 my county was investigated and found guilty of negligence and my county literally continues to flat out loose children who are supposed to be under the eye of csw.


Doesnt de facto only apply if the child is currently in your care? Techinically hes been out of your home almost as long as youve had him. While I feel your pain, why move him AGAIN and traumatize him AGAIN? Its not allowinghim to attach to anyone and can cause all sorts of attachment and abandonment issues.
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Therapeutic Foster parents to:

Placements:
Current:
Miracle Baby aka "Pooh Bear", 2 years old- 07/22/13-Goal: Concurrent, expecting TPR in June <Medically Fragile but a feisty little firecracker!>

Miracle Baby 2 aka "Piglet" , 2 years old- 12/4/13- Goal RU/Concurrent <Medically Fragile but mama's sweet boy!>

"Blue" , 17 years old- 2/2/14 to present, Goal: Official goal still "RU" but at court in June it will change to adoption by us


In Transition:

Miracle Baby 3 aka "Roo" , 8 months old- ((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Developmentally Delayed but the cutest bug you'll ever meet!>

Miracle Baby 4 aka "Rabbit" , 8 months old-((In Transition-))- Goal RU/Concurrent <Congenital Heart Defect but the busiest little bee!>


Short and Long Term Respites:
5s
8s

www.TheGrangerBunch.com

www.cafepress.com/TheGrangerBunch
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  #15  
Old 01-21-2013, 09:15 PM
TRas TRas is offline
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Well good luck. I hope he gets permanency soon and doesn't keep being moved.

My littlest daughter was moved five times between 2 months old and 6 1/2 months old (when she moved to us). That much moving around isn't good for any child - no matter how young.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingDoc
Foster parents have the right to file for what is called De Facto Parenting status and because he is so young the typical 4 month period of a child being in your care does not apply. The way the laws around de facto is wrote there is no specific time period that is required but 4 months is typically how long you need to have the child in your home for before even being considered. TPR is in March. Permanency is what foster care is about, either adoption or reunification. In 2009 my county was investigated and found guilty of negligence and my county literally continues to flat out loose children who are supposed to be under the eye of csw.
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