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  #1  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:30 AM
TXRed495 TXRed495 is offline
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Red face Will it ever happen?

Hello all!

I have been reading the forums for quite a while now and just needed a little support from others going through the same situation.

My husband and I started the straight adoption process about a year and a half ago. We had one match and it did not work out in the end. So, after lots of waiting and lots of prayer, we decided we needed to look into foster to adopt. We have been "official" for about 3 weeks now and have had 3 calls that we said yes to and were not selected for any of them. We also had 2 calls for respite care that we were thrilled to say yes to as well but did not work because the family found a family member that was able to watch them. Needless to say, I feel like they are never going to pick us. I am a stay at home mom in Texas to my wonderful 7 year old bio son. I guess it just feels like the journey is getting longer and longer. I really am not focused on solely adoption in the end, I just want to help these little ones. I feel so sad sometimes, I know it is part of the process though. Any advice? I am trying to be patient. Thank you all in advance!
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  #2  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:37 AM
preacherjt preacherjt is offline
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Hang in there. I know from where you stand it looks like everyone else in the system gets their forever child faster than you do, or at the very least they get SOME kind of placement before you.

I don't know what the reason is, but what I have learned over the last four years is that some people get that first call two days after being licensed and it ends up being a child they adopt, and then other people wait up to two years before they receive any placement, and it may be another two years before there is any kind of permanent placement.

Although it can seem like a platitude on this forum, what I can say with certainty is that the waiting and the frustration is all worth it in the end. Don't give up hope, and keep on working with your CW to make sure your name is getting out there with the placement workers.
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  #3  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:45 AM
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Sheena85 Sheena85 is offline
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It can take awhile to get matched. Also, what type of child are you hoping to get matched with- age? Gender?
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Current placements...8 kiddos (sib group of 5 fosters, 3 adopted):

AD 13 yr old
FS 9.5 yr old March 2013-
FD 8.5 yr old March 2013-
FD 6.5 yr old March 2013-
AD 5 yr old
FD 3.5 yr old March 2013-
AS 3.5 yr old
FD 1.5 yr old March 2013-

Past placements:
22 kids...12 10
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  #4  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:49 AM
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HopingForForever HopingForForever is offline
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It took us 7 months to get our first placement. We said yes to lots before hand and although we don't have to be "chosen" here since we're chosen automatically if they're calling and we say yes, all either didn't come into care or a relative was found. Then in a year's time, we have had five placements! After getting our first, everyone we said yes to actually came. Course none ended up being one that stayed forever (verdict is still out with our current placement), it is still nice to be needed.
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Started the process rolling to become licensed foster parents hoping to adopt August 2010
License Received February 2011
4 bios, 1 adopted

#1, 3 days, Sept'11-Dec'11 (adopted by kin)
#2, 3 weeks, Mar'12 (RU to dad, then to mom)
#3, 4 days, Mar'12-Apr'12 (kinship, RU to dad, then mom)
#4, 10 months, Jun'12-Jul'12 (kinship, then RU w/mom)
#5, 3 days, Aug'12-FOREVER (adopted by us Nov'13)
#6, 3 years, Feb'14-Mar'14 (RU to parents)
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  #5  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:51 AM
TXRed495 TXRed495 is offline
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Thank you all so much for the encouragement. I am trying so hard to just go about my days with my son and not stare at my cell phone all day! We are looking at 0-5 female right now. I guess what is so frustrating that I didn't realize you had to be submitted for foster kiddos as well. I thought it was less of a competition! I guess they didn't explain the process to us very well. Thank you again, I don't have anyone else that is going through this and these forums are invaluable!
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  #6  
Old 12-06-2012, 08:51 AM
latinosunshine latinosunshine is offline
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I know how you feel. We were waiting three years for our two. Meanwhile, I had co-workers get their kids within weeks of getting their licenses.

But I will tell you it was well worth the wait.
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Started infertility treatments in 2005
Clomid, IUI and IVF in 2007
Looking into adoption in March 2007
Adoption pre reqs 2007-2008
Finally licensed in 2009 after agency paperwork issue
Nov 2010- Matched with a 2 and 4 year old legally free.
Documents gone through. Subsidy paperwork submitted.
Waiting for match call with worker and foster parents. Need to confirm some things.
Presentation call set for February 24th,2011
Visits went well on February 25-27th,2011
Picking them up for placement- March 7th 2011
Adoption Day - Sept 28 2011 at 1:15 pm.
*********
Adding one more in the near future
Right now on the inactive list at agency
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  #7  
Old 12-06-2012, 09:18 AM
TXRed495 TXRed495 is offline
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Thank you all so much! I just needed a boost I guess. I know that God has something in mind for our family I just need to be patient. Can anyone explain how the process does work? The CPS person sends out a broadcast to who? All the adoption agencies? And then do they filter who replies back or is it who replies back first? We are working with a small agency. Thanks again!
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  #8  
Old 12-06-2012, 09:59 AM
preacherjt preacherjt is offline
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The process for broadcasting will differ by area, but I know that where we lived in Texas it was an APB sent out to all of the agencies that the intake worker had in their cue. Most of the time that means that it goes out to all of the agencies in the area, but not always. Sometimes workers will start with select agencies that they have liked working with in the past. It really depends on the worker, but from that part of the process it really pays to be with an agency that has had a great reputation.

The other part of the process is on your agency's end. Once they have received the call that such-and-such a child is available, they will begin calling homes that are open to the gender and age of the child. This may be done in a more or less random manner, but it may also be that the placement worker from your agency will first call families that they have liked working with in the past. This is why you will often hear people say that they waited three to eight months in between their first two placements, and then suddenly they have five placements in an eight month window. Once your name gets known in the agency, you suddenly become very popular.

Lastly, a family is selected by the intake worker who sent out the initial APB. Typically it is the family of the first agency that gets back to the intake worker. Remember, that worker needs to know the family before they can really get the process completed for the day, and they don't want to be stuck with that scared child any longer than they have to. It is therefore very important that you are able to answer the call affirmatively right away, and that your placement worker relays your answer right away. You may still not be first, and you may still not be chosen even if you are, but it certainly improves your odds.

I'll tell you what ended up helping us in getting the calls was that we were with one of only two or three agencies that had a 24 hour placement worker, and we also always kept our phones on. We received a lot of our placements after 10 pm. Two of our placements actually arrived at our home after one o'clock in the morning.

That's the process I came to know. I hope it helps.
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  #9  
Old 12-06-2012, 01:01 PM
TXRed495 TXRed495 is offline
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Thank you so much! That helps a lot, I wasn't sure about all of the order of operations going on. It sounds like once we get started and get to know the workers, maybe it will happen more often. Thanks again!
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  #10  
Old 12-06-2012, 07:57 PM
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lovemy3babies lovemy3babies is offline
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We are waiting too. It's been 3 1/2 years since we had a new placement, and I'm getting really antsy! We agreed to go on our agency's and the county's emergency list too, but I do hope we don't get a call in the middle of the night tonight. I'm so tired!

There was a baby supposedly found abandoned yesterday and I was hoping they'd call us! The news said it was in DHS care, but I think it's still in the hospital. This is what happens when you are in the wait. Even the news gives you hope. lol
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  #11  
Old 12-06-2012, 09:44 PM
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controllnmychaos controllnmychaos is offline
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@ TXRed495 & lovemy3babies, So sorry things have not gone quicker for you. Here's hoping your families find you soon.
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Married since '94 to Mr. Right
BD-Sasquatch-16 & BS-Wrestler-14
AS-Turdnugget-5 Placed 1/11-Relinquished 1/13-Finalized 11/13

Licensed 10/2010... Current Placements:
STBAS-Chuckles-21 m Placed 8/12-Relinquished 12/13-Goal-Adoption by US-Finalize ???
Pumpkin
-9 m Placed 12/2013 Goal-RU
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  #12  
Old 12-07-2012, 12:07 PM
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peightonmom peightonmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemy3babies
We are waiting too. It's been 3 1/2 years since we had a new placement, and I'm getting really antsy! We agreed to go on our agency's and the county's emergency list too, but I do hope we don't get a call in the middle of the night tonight. I'm so tired!

There was a baby supposedly found abandoned yesterday and I was hoping they'd call us! The news said it was in DHS care, but I think it's still in the hospital. This is what happens when you are in the wait. Even the news gives you hope. lol

Oh my word this is so true...we are waiting for our first placement and I heard a story on the news last night...it was a child abuse case, and the next county over ...but it still got my hopes up just a little!
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Mom to 3 bios
NBB Nugget 12/12 - 2/13
NBG Buttercup 3/13 -10/13
Snoopy(4)Linus(2) 11/13 - 12/13
Flower(2) Princess(1) 3/14-Goal RU
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  #13  
Old 12-07-2012, 06:59 PM
Noggin Noggin is offline
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Hopefully the wait is because your agency is carefully choosing a good match for you. Wishing you the best!
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Baby D placed with us 3/12
Bio mom relinquished before trial.
Waiting on an adoption date!
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  #14  
Old 12-07-2012, 08:16 PM
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lovemy3babies lovemy3babies is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Noggin
Hopefully the wait is because your agency is carefully choosing a good match for you. Wishing you the best!

This has been the case with us. It does take some time, but of 5 placements we adopted 3. The other two were only here less than a week so we have been really lucky. There was still a lot of drama with the cases but no permanent heartbreak for us. I'm hoping they are doing the same for our next placement and that is why wearent getting calls yet.
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  #15  
Old 12-07-2012, 10:14 PM
Momoftwoboyz Momoftwoboyz is offline
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We waited over 3 years. Yep, you read that right.
We were straight adopt for most of that, just recently added our foster license. We were matched last month with our kids!
Im kinda sad that we never got to foster though! We only got one call and it didnt pan out.
It depends on your area and how "busy" they are. Our county is very very slow, and many of the kids in care are in kinship. I think we have about 45 foster homes, and many are empty. We are tansistioning our girls home now and hope to have final move in in January.
Once we get our girls settled, I hope to go on the list again (they wont put you on the list til 6 months after adoption)
I will only accept babies after we adopt the girls though so we may never get a placement, but we will be out of bedrooms and could only take a baby that could stay in our room.
Now, once my oldest moves out, we will have another bedroom and we can open up for any age. He graduates this year and thinks he is all grown up and wants to move to PA to be with his girlfriend.... I dont think he is read for the real world and hope he will change his mind.

Anyhow, sorry for the off topicness of my reply!
Your time will come. We had all but given up that it would happen...and them BAM.
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