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Old 11-19-2012, 09:40 PM
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tnlmommy2b tnlmommy2b is offline
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Why would foster parents be denied to adopt their foster children?

I have been hearing recently on various threads about foster parents being denied to adopt their foster children. I have even heard of some appealing the decision. I was shocked by this because being foster/adopt we we were lead to believe if any of our foster kiddos become available we have the first choice to adopt if bio family has been ruled out obviously. Does anyone know why this happens? I am just wondering.
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:48 PM
Fostermom22 Fostermom22 is offline
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There's no set reason as far as I know. It can happen if there is a sibling that they are trying to place the foster child with...if there is a "bad fit" between the child and family, or if the agency considers several families and finds one they feel would be a better fit....I know that age can sometimes factor into it also...I know some FP who are "grandparents" to their foster children, and if they get a baby/toddler...
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Old 11-19-2012, 10:09 PM
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momof9wantingmore momof9wantingmore is offline
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Where I am there is no age discrimination and foster parents are given first choice after family, especially if the child has been with you for any length of time. There could be something that could come up during the adoption home study, but if you are a foster parent already, you should pass the adoption home study.
Mom of 11
DH Married for 25 years
Current placement 2/11/2014 to present
BD M-11/27/78
BS T-1/23/80
BD S-6/17/1981
BS N-10/28/1981
BS A-9/29/1983
BD E-10/27/1986
AS D-8/17/2000
AD M-12/25/2001
AD A-12/18/2003
AS D-9/12/2008
AD E-2/8/2010
FD-placed 10/09 Left to relative placement 5/01/2010 We miss her!!
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Old 11-19-2012, 10:24 PM
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elizabeth30 elizabeth30 is offline
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The fp have first choice of adopting if there is no family. With foster care the fp can have the kids for years in some states and a relative the child has never met can take them.
24 foster kiddo's and counting...
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Old 11-20-2012, 04:14 AM
MommaTina MommaTina is offline
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The only ways I could see a foster parent being denied are: suitable family steps forward or the CWs are no longer wanting to keep the FPs as FPs. 'Cause if they were to hand a child I was "good enough" to foster for the 9 months required before getting "preferred" status in our state over to strangers that looked better on paper, I swear it would be the last time I dealt with that foster care system. I don't care how good a fit they think the others might be.

Sorry - this is just a little close to us right now. Coming up on TPR trial in a few short weeks, and getting nervous (despite everyone saying things are just a formality).
Married to DH for 14+ years.

20 months - Placed with us at 13 days old. Our AD as of 3/22/2013!

Former Placements:
: 4 yo (24 hour placement)
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Old 11-20-2012, 05:37 AM
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AMom2011 AMom2011 is offline
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truthfully, I've never heard or met any fosterparents, who were denied adopting their foster children, once they were adoptable.

my husband had the same fear about our VERY SOON to be STAS, because he is 55, and our little man is only a baby, (well, he was a baby, NOW he is already 18 month old) but we were assured that that is NOT the case

I know of 2 VERY OLD grandparents, who were fighting for placement of a newborn grandchild, that was never placed with them (birthmom chose a religious adoption center, and child became never a 'foster child' but went straight for adoption) and I must say, I was thinking to myself WHAT would those people do with a newborn???!!??? they are both at least 78 or so.... instead of FIGHTING, they should have tried to establish a relationship with the AP, and be GRANDPARENTS to this little one... so sad, for all involved, but that's how it went down...

again, this had nothing to do with CYS PLACING a child, this was a straight adoption situation.
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Old 11-20-2012, 05:39 AM
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JeannineW JeannineW is offline
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In the case of our STAKs, their foster parents were not a good fit. The kids were not doing well in their home. At times they wanted to keep the kids but not actually adopt them. They also complained a lot about how difficult the kids were and wanting to swap them for "easy" kids. The kids behavior was not very good. FM did not interact with them well. The sw kept the kids in their home for 2 years, because they did not realize it would be that long, and they did not want to move the kids around too much. They actually came for a long visit to get out of there and then when they went back, they went to a new foster home until they could come back to us.

I think if the kids are doing well, you don't have to worry.
Mom by marriage to Amber (24) and Ashley Nicole (12/86 - 8/06)
Mom by birth to Katie (13), Christopher (9) and Rebecca Nicole (6 - born 8/26/06)
Mom by adoption to Angela (11) adopted from Guatemala at 2.5 yo Referral - 10/25/03 Home - 03/10/04
1/2007 - Preparing to adopt from foster care system.
9/11/07 - Homestudy completed at last!
4/24/08 - Licensed Foster Parents!
2/12 - Still waiting. Hoping we a matched soon with a group in CA.
3/1 - Not matched with CA group.
3/15 - MATCHED with CA group after all Kids are 8, 6, 5
6/17 - Still waiting on ICPC. Bring them home June 23rd for a long visit. They'll stay until July 12th. Then return to us TBD.
8/03/2012 - Home at Last!
1/11/13 - Filed the adoption petition. Should be final in 90 days!
5/9/13 - ICPC hiccup. The wait goes on.
6/5/13 - Problems solved. Papers resubmitted. 6/13/13 - Finalized at last.
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:15 AM
NotDoneYet NotDoneYet is offline
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The only reason I can see is if e kids expressed they don't want foster parent to adopt. My boys have a brother and 2 sisters placed in another foster together, their fp's were planning on adopting all 3 but their brother said he wants to be adopted with his brothers (my boys). They let him make that choice at 7 years old, despite the fact he has been with s FP for over 2 years. Their AW wouldn't even consider splitting the boys despite the fact my boys desperately wanted to be adopted by us and we don't have room for all 3. We actually decided we we were NOT going to be able to adopt, but if we had wanted to we would have been denied unless we took their brother too (if it was up to me alone I would have taken all 3, but we had to consider our family dynamics and it just wasn't looking like the right decision)
Fisherman, 13 nephew (Granted guardianship Sept. 2013)
Legoman, 10
Fancy Nancy, 9 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Mr. Monk, 8
Angelina Ballerina, 7
Superman, 5 (8/14-current, goal RU or Adoption?)
Xena Warrior Princess, 3 (Granted guardianship January 2012!)
Gerber baby, 8 months (complicated family situation )

Teddy Bear, infant: October 2011-Feburary 2012 Went to relatives, sad for us but happy for them!
Ash, 12 and Pikachu, 10 (5/2012-1/2013)Adopted by an out-of-state family!
Marley, 4 Prince 3 and Queenie, 1 (6/2013-1/2014) Moved to grandma

17 yo boy
12 yo girl 8 yo boy, 5 yo boy
14 yo girl, 10 yo girl and 6 yo boy (sibs to Ash and Pikachu!)
15 yo girl
3 yo boy
12 yo twin boys
15 yo and her 16 mos old twin girls
2 yo girl and 1 yo boy
5 yo boy, 2 yo boy
9 yo girl, 5 yo boy
Licensed June 24, 2011
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:41 AM
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hisdaisy hisdaisy is offline
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It think that is also also depends on the rules of state you are in. Here there is no guarantee that you can adopt your foster child. It takes 12 months to get standing and that too can be denied. Family is considered first even if the child has been in your home for years. Family can come forward at nearly every point of the process (even after an adoptive match is made).
Here if caretaker status is not given to the foster family then the child must go to committee. The foster family is usually considered by the committee, but there are no guarantees. I know several great foster families that have not been chosen for their foster kids. These are homes are still open, but another family was better for that child.
We faced having to go to committee for our stbas because we did not have him 12 months. The cw apologized over and over, but kept saying the law was the law. Somehow at the last minute they found a loophole in the law and were able to ask for expedited status. We got it, but we could have been denied.
Adoption also take a long time finalize in my state, think 9, 12, 18 months. I am amazed how fast some of you go to adopt. My little guy was free in May and we are still waiting with no end in sight.
"Mom" to ? wonderful kids
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:54 AM
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MountainMommy MountainMommy is offline
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I've heard of it in our family member's adoption case. The FP's were not doing enough to help the child along. He was being sat in front of the television all day. He wasn't thriving in the environment, though they were good foster parents. They literally picked him up and moved him into another adoptive home and now he's adopted.
6/25/12- Initial inquiry into adoption
10/11/12 Officially on the list

12/2012 Got the call for twin girls, age three
8/2013 Got the call for a boy, age 15 months

10/14 switched from FFA to County

1 bio son
1 adopted son- Placed 09/2013, Adopted 4/2014

Not in our home, but in our hearts - Twin A and B, age five 12/12-11/13
Many emergency and short term placements
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:23 AM
Kat-L Kat-L is offline
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Originally Posted by tnlmommy2b
I have been hearing recently on various threads about foster parents being denied to adopt their foster children. I have even heard of some appealing the decision. I was shocked by this because being foster/adopt we we were lead to believe if any of our foster kiddos become available we have the first choice to adopt if bio family has been ruled out obviously. Does anyone know why this happens? I am just wondering.

My daughter's fm wanted to adopt H and was denied. I was kind of surprised that someone could be good enough to foster but not good enough to adopt. But if the child has needs (especially future needs for medical care..etc) that the current foster parent can't meet, or if the foster parent had an illness that would prevent them from living until the child reached adulthood, I could understand it. A 65 year old would be fine to foster a 3 year old-but would it be wise to adopt? She would be in her mid 70's when the child was a teenager. She would be in her 80's when the child graduated from college. Age shouldn't be the only factor (especially if there is other family who could step up in the event that a parent dies) but I can see how it would affect a decision to let the person adopt.

ETA: I think foster children should be adopted by their foster parents if it's a good fit. Moving a child is never the 'best' plan. It should only happen when it's the ONLY option left. But I am really glad I was chosen to adopt H. She is a joy. I can't imagine life without her. I felt bad for her FM but she really did belong in my family.

Last edited by Kat-L : 11-20-2012 at 09:26 AM.
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:23 AM
mamallama mamallama is offline
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My oldest daughter came to us at a year old as an adoptive placement after her foster mother, who wanted to adopt her, was denied.

We were told that the previous foster mother was a foster only home. The foster mom was much older, had some minor health issues, had her in daycare all the time, was low income and didn't have much of a support system. We were initially told her adoptive homestudy was denied but later learned that they never did one because the private agency she was with was a foster only agency. She very much wanted to adopt though.
Mama Llama
Happily married to Mr. Llama for 17 years
Momma to:
Eeyore (12), Buggy (11), Ella Bella (6) and Libby Loo (5)

Last edited by mamallama : 11-20-2012 at 09:25 AM.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:14 AM
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HopingForForever HopingForForever is offline
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They don't only want foster parents to adopt here but it's almost a requirement for young ones (assuming no family is found). And they do! In almost two years of being licensed, I've never received a call to get a child from another foster home (with one exception but she'd been in care a day and wanted to move her to my area). They are just never looking for homes for young kids on the adoption track here because its always the foster parents adopting.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:18 AM
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tnlmommy2b tnlmommy2b is offline
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Thanks for all of the answers. I guess this seems to be more common in states that do not allow foster/adopt dual licensing. It makes sense when it is age or health related or if it is a "bad" match. When I was hearing it all I could picture was this young couple who had fostered their kiddos for a year or more and given them the world only to be told they would not be allowed to adopt.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:20 AM
TemporaryMom TemporaryMom is offline
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Quite frankly, I am glad that foster parents aren't always the number one choice because unfortunately, you'd be rewarding a bad foster parent who might agree to adoption for the AA. In some areas, it can be as high as the foster per-diem. If this is a suspicion, then the child should go to committee and try to get placed in a very loving home.

I am quite certain the cases like that are rare, but they are out there. That woman in FL who starved her adoptive sons is perfect example. She seemed ok as a foster parent under microscope, but once CPS was gone from picture, her true motives were seen.

That said, as far as I know, here, it goes bio family, kin, fictive kin or far removed kin then foster parent, then stranger adoption in order of precedence. I haven't heard of foster family being denied here.
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Mr. Blue Eyes (aka BE) - 8 months older than AS - 2 years 2 months 1 day
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