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  #1  
Old 03-25-2012, 09:16 AM
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shae961 shae961 is offline
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question

I have a question for you all. Well here is the story and then the question.

I know a girl who has a almost 3 yrs boy who is in FC. She goes to court next month. She thinks they are going to TPR on her. The child has been in four foster homes in the last year no one wants him. I just heard about him over the weekend and we would love to adopt him. How I found out about him is thru my daughters birthmom. She is friends with her. The boys mom would like us to adopt him. She is losing her rights to him. She would rather sign then have the courts say they are done. Because she is pg again and would like to keep the baby. I know once the courts term her rights that they will take the baby once its born. So my question is can she ask the court to let us adopt the 3 yrs? We are in the same county as her. Will she be able to have a say in where he will be if she is willing to sign off on him? She loves him lots and just is in the wrong spot in her life to raise him and possibly the baby too. She is really messed up. When she was younger she saw something no one should ever see and then was placed in foster care and she bounced around too. She don't want that for them. We are willing to have an open adoption as we have that with our daughters birthmom.
What should we do? The foster family that has him don't want him they were a last minute placement for him again. I feel so bad for him. Why wouldn't you want him. Well I do want him. Even if he has problems. With love and care I am sure he can be a healthy happy little boy. Her court date is april 11th so I know it will have to happen fast. please give me advice on this. The birthmom has a history with drugs and drinking too.
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  #2  
Old 03-25-2012, 09:33 AM
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Moja Moja is offline
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I'm not sure if it depends where you are, but I've heard of parents voluntarily surrendering their rights via Conditional Surrender. That is when the parent offers to TPR to a specific (approved) family. If you have already been approved this might be an option. I don't know if it can happen in less than a month, though. Especially if you have an extended appeals time.

However, I would want to know more about the boy, first. He is at a prime age for issues with RAD. I've worked extensively with children with RAD, and it's not as easy as you would think.

Good luck!
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  #3  
Old 03-25-2012, 12:39 PM
Fostermom22 Fostermom22 is offline
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Good Luck.

As mentioned it depends where you are...in both states I worked in Conditional Surrenders are not allowed because even when an identified adoptive home is known, there is no guarantee that something won't happen to cause the adoption to fall apart prior to happening.

As the PP mentioned, unless you have many details not mentioned there is a lot of information not known...to go through 4 homes is a lot, especially depending on the time frame.
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  #4  
Old 03-25-2012, 01:16 PM
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CRAZY_WOMAN CRAZY_WOMAN is offline
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I would see about becoming a foster parent for him first.He could be super active or have rads or just been in wrong placements, that's why he's been in so many foster homes.
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Old 03-25-2012, 02:42 PM
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The first thing that you have to do to even be considered is go through a background fingerprint check. You can find out the SW name and ask to start one (it probably will not even be approved before court in April). You may want to find out if it's even a posibility through the sw. If you have a current approved adoption home study you may qualify.
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Old 03-25-2012, 03:00 PM
TemporaryMom TemporaryMom is offline
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I'd recommend you contact CPS asap. You seem to be putting a lot of faith in what the bio mom is telling you, or, more like what is being filtered through your adopted child's bio mom. I wouldn't. For all you know the child IS in a potential adoptive home and the child's bio mom and your adopted child's bio mom are trying to concoct some deal to prevent bio mom from TPR and losing the new baby.

If she is due very soon, there is huge likelihood that if baby is born addicted, he will be taken. If indeed the child will be available for adoption soon, and the foster family does not want him, then I suspect you'd have to go through the background check and foster/adopt classes just like anyone else.

Just to give you something to chew on, my son's bio mom tried something like this in the last hour. Literally 2 days before the "official" matching. She had someone from the jail she was in, supposedly a "long lost friend" call and express interest in adoption. She was denied. Any potential adoptive placements would have had to gone through everything I did [homestudy, background check, training, etc.] and submitted an application to adopt at least 10 days before the match meeting.

I'd not even want to play the "What-If" game with you because I seriously doubt that you have all of the truth in this case.

I am sure that the worker saw this was BS as well.
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  #7  
Old 03-25-2012, 03:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TemporaryMom
I'd recommend you contact CPS asap. You seem to be putting a lot of faith in what the bio mom is telling you, or, more like what is being filtered through your adopted child's bio mom. I wouldn't. For all you know the child IS in a potential adoptive home and the child's bio mom and your adopted child's bio mom are trying to concoct some deal to prevent bio mom from TPR and losing the new baby.

When I was reading,I was wondering,if the mother was trying to pull something.
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:15 PM
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No matter what, you are going to have to go through the "approval process"...background check, home study, possible classes (if you haven't done this already), etc.

The birthmother was provided with a court appointed attorney. If she wants to relinquish her rights, she can advise her attorney of this and he/she will submit that info at the next hearing. THEN, they will need to find the birthfather who will also have to sign over his rights and take a praternity test. All this depends on the county you are in.

You may want to meet with your own attorney to get more details.
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