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  #1  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:24 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Um...alleged father disappeared? Now what?

SO...the "alleged" father in our FD case has "moved" and left no forwarding addy...he has relatives in another state who were going to be approached as potential placements for baby...although, the preliminary contact said "we do not want anything to do with that baby!" (sad...but, could be good for us!) SO, do they still pursue these relatives if they can't prove this IS the dad? Cause there was talk of paternity testing because there was another possible dad out there...!!!! How does this work?? Mom has already said she wants baby with us...we were all just waiting on paternity to start the relative search/wait, etc.
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me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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  #2  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:33 PM
BoysParent BoysParent is offline
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If the case goes to TPR, they will likely do a paternity test before the trial. Keep your fingers crossed that the MIA guy is in fact the biofather. With biomom willing to sign baby over to you and him being MIA with no interested realtives, I would guess you would be in a good position to get to adoption.

Best of luck!
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  #3  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:37 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Well, that's the thing...they were trying to DO a paternity test and he split...so, they can't. The CW said she would be trying to "track him down" when things slow down for her...(um...when would that be?) Also, Mom has already had multiple previous kids TPR'd...and no relatives on her side that are willing/able to take baby(or any of the others so far...they were all adopted by fosters) His relatives said they were not interested...but, everyone was thinking once they proved paternity, they might change their minds? What if they never prove paternity? Could those "relatives" still count if they changed their minds?
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me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com


Last edited by hopefulandwatching : 02-22-2012 at 03:41 PM.
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  #4  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:44 PM
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CRAZY_WOMAN CRAZY_WOMAN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulandwatching
SO...the "alleged" father in our FD case has "moved" and left no forwarding addy...he has relatives in another state who were going to be approached as potential placements for baby...although, the preliminary contact said "we do not want anything to do with that baby!" (sad...but, could be good for us!) SO, do they still pursue these relatives if they can't prove this IS the dad? Cause there was talk of paternity testing because there was another possible dad out there...!!!! How does this work?? Mom has already said she wants baby with us...we were all just waiting on paternity to start the relative search/wait, etc.
They should put the childs name and mothers name in the news papper,to find the father.I think he'll have 30 day,before the child can be adopted.
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  #5  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:45 PM
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Loving4ward Loving4ward is offline
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So in our case, there was an alleged father - turns out he isn't. They don't know who the father is now so they are going to place an ad in the paper. If no one answers it, there is no father in the case and we move on with only her to deal with.

I think since there was some doubt as to if he is the father or not, they probably won't move ahead with other family for him. If they do, why don't you ask if they can do a dna test with the relatives. In our case, they would not place with the alleged father's family without paternity results. There was a family member willing to take the baby but they chose to wait for tests before making that placement.
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  #6  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:56 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Ok...that makes sense...thing is...they have already determined to tpr on him, based on criminal record...I think paternity was in the hope of getting relatives to take baby...so far no one wants her...

I hope they are the same way here...no placement without paternity results...as it is...there is another possible dad...but, no one knows where he is either!!Yeesh!
__________________

me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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  #7  
Old 02-22-2012, 03:58 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CRAZY_WOMAN
They should put the childs name and mothers name in the news papper,to find the father.I think he'll have 30 day,before the child can be adopted.


OK...there was mention of that if this one turned out not to be the father...so maybe that is what they will do now...thanks for the reply!!
__________________

me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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  #8  
Old 02-22-2012, 06:01 PM
hartgirl hartgirl is offline
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Our youngest had an alleged dad. He was a minor and his family refused to allow him to be tested or to cooperate in any way. They TPR'd him and any unknown father. They listed him by name and added any possible/unknown fathers in the publication. That is pretty standard around here for fathers that can't be verified.
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  #9  
Old 02-22-2012, 07:35 PM
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Is he named on the birth certificate? That was a big deal in the case with our twins.
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12 yr. ---bio, Aspie extraordinaire
3 yr. old identical boys. Placed at 4 wks, adopted at 19 mos.
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with us 8/10-9/10
2 yr. with us 9/10-8/11
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  #10  
Old 02-22-2012, 07:56 PM
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Yup; they'll publish a notice for six weeks, I believe. They will list any possible fathers, but also leave it open to anyone who thinks he might be the father. You're in our state, and that's what they did for Her Royal Highness. The alleged father was excluded by the paternity test; and at TPR they still terminated his rights (he wasn't named on the birth certificate, but baby had his last name). They also terminated the rights of the legal father (birth mom was married, but her husband had been in prison since well before the baby was conceived), and the rights of any other unknown fathers.

What's sad is that we don't know who her biological father is, and that's a loss for her. Maybe in the future you can get the alleged father to agree to testing just so your child knows who his biological father is. At any rate, you'll have a likely candidate for medical information, genealogy, etc. Our daughter is frustrated at 10 that she has a biological father somewhere who likely doesn't know she exists.
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Hard Rock Cafe, born 2004, adopted 2006

Mister Fix-It, born 2009, placed 2011, adopted 2014
Miss Growly Bear, born 2010, placed 2011, adopted 2014
Lucky, born 2012, pre-adoptive placement

Eight former foster children
Married to their Mama since 1998

Mr. Incredible: What are you waiting for?
Little Boy: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess.
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  #11  
Old 02-22-2012, 08:02 PM
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If he is the named father on the birth certificate then his relatives are relatives and should be considered as placement options without the hassle of a paternity test (it doesn't sound like that matters).

Once they are prepared to TPR they will have to publish for him, and "John Doe" and any other potential named fathers. Our case had 2 named potential fathers and John Doe. None ever came forward, so they published 2x on all 3 and then TPR'd by show of proof.
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  #12  
Old 02-22-2012, 08:13 PM
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CRAZY_WOMAN CRAZY_WOMAN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CRAZY_WOMAN
They should put the childs name and mothers name in the news papper,to find the father.I think he'll have 30 day,before the child can be adopted.
If he didn't want to take the test,he might bother to even come forward.
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  #13  
Old 02-22-2012, 10:10 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teacher1998
Is he named on the birth certificate? That was a big deal in the case with our twins.

I don't believe so...the baby has Mom's last name...and everything in the paperwork says "Paternity to be Established"...with lots of talk about a possible other dad...he wasn't even in the same state when baby was born...and mom was "hiding" from him...
__________________

me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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  #14  
Old 02-22-2012, 10:12 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImpactingLives
If he is the named father on the birth certificate then his relatives are relatives and should be considered as placement options without the hassle of a paternity test (it doesn't sound like that matters).


Baby has mom's name...mom was hiding...and caseworker said "they don't count if we can't prove paternity"...so, I am guessing no...he isn't named as father on the B/C...but, that's all I know!
__________________

me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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  #15  
Old 02-22-2012, 10:14 PM
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hopefulandwatching hopefulandwatching is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CRAZY_WOMAN
If he didn't want to take the test,he might bother to even come forward.


That's what I'm thinking! I guess we'll see, huh? He knows about the birth...he spoke with the cw that was handling the case initially...so, it's not like he doesn't know...and he didn't leave any forwarding info...I"m guessing he doens't want to be found at this point...but...that's just a guess.
__________________

me, 44 DH 54 (not each others first spouse)
First batch of kids(aka his and mine), 16 ,19 ,21 ,22 ,23 , and 29 Decided we wanted a family of our own together!

First Placement:
7/11/11

Sugarbear
Final outcome: birthparents relinquished on July 5, 2012.
They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


Second Placement
11/18/11
Sweet Pea...
Goal Adoption by us!
3/28/12
Bmom relinquished

5/2012 Paternity now established
7/01/12 caseworker filed TPR on dad
9/19/12 Dad relinquished

They are OURS! November 17th, 2012!!


http://amiraculousmess.com

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