[Foster3]

A kido who I sent home to Dad two months ago is moving back in with me again today. Ugg! Anyone have advice for a kido who is bouncing back? Or for dealing with parents the second time around?

[amedinaoh]

Can't tell you much other than I have had bounce back children too. I had the girls for only nine days and then a month later, I get them back for three and a half months. The oldest (4, now 5) got tears in her eyes when she saw me come to pick her up the second time because she knew she was staying with me for awhile. So sad because I still think they aren't doing well and am praying they don't bounce back a third time even though I would take them in an instant. I don't want that for the children.

Usually the parent(s) have no idea why their children are removed again. Everything is fine

[digmykids]

What a bummer! I cant help you any but wanted to say I'm thinking about you and the kids and hoping things are as smooth as possible!
Good luck!

[ladyjubilee]

Originally Posted by Foster3

A kido who I sent home to Dad two months ago is moving back in with me again today. Ugg! Anyone have advice for a kido who is bouncing back? Or for dealing with parents the second time around?

LG came back to me 2x--the second time was permanent. In his case, both times he was estatic. Each time he came in as if he'd never left. He even went to the fridge for this favorite breakfast the next morning, and couldn't understand why I didn't have it.

I'd been warned, though that for some kids coming back is actually harder. As foster parents we tell them they are safe, that the judge makes the decision and that only if its safe can they go home......then it turns out we've broken that faith. They end up back in the unsafe situation. For some kids, that means the foster parent isn't safe anymore.

[connie_anne]

I think this is one of the most frustrating things about the foster care system. Why, when they know that the children are going to end up right back in foster care, do they send them home??? We did not get our FD back, she went to grandma instead but when SW told us she would be going back to mom I asked out right if she thought mom would be able to parent for the long run. SW said "No, I give her 6 months, before FD is returned to foster care." Sure enough 4 months later...... she was put with grandma. It just makes me so mad........

[meesh38]

I just got a bounce back after nearly 2 years had gone by. Sure would have been easier if she'd never left.

[Foster3]

I am happy to say that after only 2.5 months after Monkey came "back" to me after a failed r/u with Dad, she is safely and very happily settled in with her new foster to adopt family! They are so excited to have eachother and she is so happy to be more "stable". What a quick growing up process these kids go through.

Praying for success for all!!

Hoping that this time is really is the happy ending we're all hoping for!

[URmysunshine4]

Originally Posted by connie_anne

I think this is one of the most frustrating things about the foster care system. Why, when they know that the children are going to end up right back in foster care, do they send them home???

Just another example of why sometimes my DH and I feel we are nothing but glorified babysitters.

[MassachusettsMom]

We have a bounceback after 3 1/2 years. We had one of the kiddos as a pre-adoptive placement, judge denied TPR and he was returned. DCF stayed involved for most of the last 3 1/2 years and eventually was able to remove them. NOTHING has changed. The birthparents have gotten worse, if anything, and the kids show the damage.

No idea how long they'll be with us. Their old therapist thinks they'll bounce in and out of foster care for the rest of their childhoods.

Breaks my heart.

[BoysParent]

This is such a tragedy. After the first failed RU, CPS should know that nothing is going to change and to STOP trying to keep RUing.

Our adoptive placement sib group has now been RU with biomom sine mid-December. We know they will be back in care...it's just a matter of time. Biomom hasn't changed.

[lifechanges]

Poor Kid. I don't have any advice for you, but I sympathize for him/her and you. That must be so tough. This is such a fear of mine if my niece and nephew return home. Good luck with it all.

[OhioFosterMom]

My friend has a children's fostercare book. I think it's called Maybe Days.? Try amazon.com for a few more or ask CW if they have anything u can borrow.

Consistency and routine is all I can suggest. Keep reminding them over and over and over that it is not their fault.