[irq11]

I have kinship care of my nephew, and he just informed me that the worker who supervises one of the weekly visits leaves my nephew alone in the car while he goes into "stores". I attempted to inquire further and was only able to clarify that sometimes it was "gas stations" but sometimes it was "just stores".

My nephew isn't that great at verbalizing, but when he makes a statement of his own volition (like "I wore my red socks today" or "We had cookies for snack"), he's telling the truth. And saying, "X leaves me alone in the car when he goes into stores" doesn't really leave much room for interpreting.

The worker is not a case/social worker, he's just one of the people from a third-party agency hired by DHS to supervise visits. I've had some issues with this guy's responsibility (the main being is that he sees no reason to call anyone if he's going to be 2 hours late picking up my nephew for a visit -- most days he is usually 30-60 minutes late, but then on occasions he's actually 30 minutes *early* (but I've dealt with 4 other people from the same agency and they always call immediately if they're going to be even 10 minutes late/early)). I've never said anything to the case worker or GAL because he gets annoyed easily and this situation is hard enough without him being mad at me all the time.

but IMO leaving a 4yo alone in the car is a HUGE DEAL. this is not an angelic 4yo, this is a little guy who can get in a huge amount of trouble even when he's in plain sight two feet away. Also, I've had problems with him on occasion getting out of his car seat and attempting to lean forward to mess with the gear shifter just in the 10 seconds it takes me to get out and walk to his door. Even if worker X is running into a gas station for coffee and is only gone a few minutes and can see the car through the window the whole time, that still wouldn't prevent my nephew from getting into trouble if he was overcome with boredom/curiosity/sheer devilment.

the problem is what do I do about it? I have no idea who his boss is and I'm not sure if that would be the appropriate place to start anyway. Do I tell the social worker or the GAL? Would they even regard this as a concern? or would they think I'm just trying to get him in trouble and it's not a big deal?

why can't any of this be easy!

any advice would be greatly appreciated, I would like to call/email someone tomorrow morning (Monday) since the next visit is Tuesday. Thank you!

[heatherandlouis]

I would call and report this now. It is illegal to leave children alone in the car.

[Withay]

Email the sw and copy the GAL, his (the visit worker) supervisor and the sw supervisor.

It is against the law to leave a 4 year old in a car alone. There was a woman who walked her shopping cart 10 feet away and was arrested last year. Going into a 'store' or any other building is absolutely not ok.

Who cares if this guy gets upset. He is endangering the safety of a child with his actions. I wouldn't want him driving him to, from and supervising visits with this type of thing going on.

You asked "Would they even regard this as a concern?". They better. If not, take it right up the chain of command.

In addition to the email I would call the sw and leave a voice mail tomorrow (Monday) even though the office is closed. There is no way I would allow this person to take my fc (related or not) to a visit on Tuesday.

[Nevada Jen]

I would just let the social worker know by email. Something along the lines of "FS seemed to have a good visit saturday. I'm having some issues with the visit transporter. I wasn't going to say anything when it was just that he doesn't call when he's running very late (an hour or two frequently) because, quite frankly, I appreciate the help with transportation so much. That said, FS shared after the ride home saturday that the transporter leaves him in the car when he "goes into stores." I'm not sure exactly what that means but I wouldn't leave a 4 year old alone in the car. Paticularly this one! I really don't want to cause a problem for the transporter because he is a great guy. I'm not sure if I should mention something to him directly or if there is a better way to approach this. I want to avoid causing any problems but its really not safe to leave the little guy unattended even to run into a gas station. As much as I love him, the kiddo is just not that trustworthy!"

[digmykids]

First off it is against the law to leave a child in the car and if it's not against the law in your state/area it should be against policy to leave foster children in the car while you run errends.
If driver X is always late then I'm thinking there is no reason for him to need to run errends on kids time.
I would totally document word for word what your nephew said, then email that to the CW and GAL and if you have driver X's supervisors number you might send it there too but for sure your CW and GAL.
Stick to the statement he made and let them know you thought they should be aware of what he said.
Leave it there. I've seen "stick to the facts" way too many times here to not listen to it lol.

[TRas]

I would definitely write an email to the caseworker and let her know.

Though it's definitely not a smart idea, it might not be illegal in your area though. For example, here in Texas, it's only illegal if it's longer than five minutes, and the child is under 7.

[lifechanges]

I have kinship care of my almost 4 year old nephew as well and I could not imagine leaving him alone, especially in a car... I know it is very tough doing kinship care and the less you say sometimes the easier. But if I was in your shoes I would absolutely be calling anyone I have to to make sure 'my kid' was safe. I would even goes as far as to letting everyone know that my nephew would not be going with that person and if they have to find a new one for visitations than so be it... If your 4 year old nephew is anything like mine, anything can happen in a matter of seconds. Do what you have to do to make sure he is being protected, although I know it might make you life a bit more difficult for the time being. Good luck!

[irq11]

Thanks everyone for the responses, I really appreciate it. I ended up emailing the CW and GAL. DHS here is not closed, the CW just said that she'd talk to him about it. So I guess he'll probably just get a stern lecture and nothing else.

It's not illegal in my state to leave a child unattended (I checked). It can fall into the general "neglect" category depending on the circumstances, though.

I also have no power so I can't just say that I want this guy taken off the case. I do not supervise any of the visits so I don't do any transportation. Bio mom (my sister) adamantly refuses to have me supervise visits. wish I could just say I want him gone but unfortunately I have as much say as a soggy paper towel. Do "real" foster parents have more say?

[going2bparents]

Originally Posted by irq11

I also have no power so I can't just say that I want this guy taken off the case. I do not supervise any of the visits so I don't do any transportation. Bio mom (my sister) adamantly refuses to have me supervise visits. wish I could just say I want him gone but unfortunately I have as much say as a soggy paper towel. Do "real" foster parents have more say?

Not in my area. But I would also call in the hotline so this is on record beyond the SW. You may also want to find out who his supervisor is, and let them know of the situation - being late, leaving child in the car, etc.

[BAC4343]

Where I live as a foster parent you are to report exactly what the kids tell you and leave the rest up to the agency to decide whether to investigate or not. I am not sure what the law is on this issue though and it probably varies by area, but if it bothers you then report it. You will be safer that way because as a foster parent I have learned that if you don't speak up then if something goes wrong you can get in trouble.

[Kezs]

I never knew it was illegal to leave a kid in the car if you were going to be just a minute and could see the car the whole time. Is this in all states, or just specific ones? I have run into the gas station to pay, or grab a water for them before if there was no one in line (I can see it from my car when I pull up). I wouldn't do it at all except with 5 kids, it would be a 15 minute stop instead of a 1 minute stop.

Does anyone know where to find the law for this? Now I am worried.

[Sueby]

It's illegal in Canada to leave a child alone under the age of 12 in any instance. It's also illegal in most provinces to smoke in a vehicle with children under 16 too, which is a nice law IMO. In our province, that law was passed before the cell phone ban was enacted

[wcurry66]

It varies from state to state. It is not illegal in my state to leave them for a minute to pay gas... unless, of course, its hot out and the windows are rolled up

[TemporaryMom]

Originally Posted by Kezs

I never knew it was illegal to leave a kid in the car if you were going to be just a minute and could see the car the whole time. Is this in all states, or just specific ones? I have run into the gas station to pay, or grab a water for them before if there was no one in line (I can see it from my car when I pull up). I wouldn't do it at all except with 5 kids, it would be a 15 minute stop instead of a 1 minute stop.

Does anyone know where to find the law for this? Now I am worried.

I agree. I think there is a big difference between leaving a child alone in the car to run in to a gas station for a receipt or soda vs running other types of errands. I would leave FD1 and FD2 alone just for that reason and never worried. I would have line of sight vision with her at all times and of course have the car locked. If summer, I would also leave the windows cracked anyway since I have to turn the car off to pump the gas.

I would never run into a big box store and do the same though. If you don't have line of sight to the child, that is a concern. The one about leaving the child to return a grocery cart? Really? That is insane. I normally keep Chubbs with me at all times, but I also purposely drive to find a spot right next to a grocery cart corral. It is easy enough with him because he is still in his car seat carrier most of them time.

I think that we have lost sight of reality with the making of some of these laws. I'll tell a quick story. My neighbor years ago was putting her son in his car seat on the passenger side of the car. She inadvertently set her keys on the floor when she was buckling him. She closed the door and all of a sudden was locked out. (She had a Kia and I am not sure how that worked. With my car, in order to unlock the rear door, you have to unlock all doors.) Anyhoo, it was a little chilly that day, but nothing too bad, so not summer time. I have no idea why that child did not know how to unbuckle himself and open the door as he was plenty old enough, but he didn't. So he just sat in there. She of course couldn't get in her house to call 911 so came to my door. We both stood there with the boy, and were prepared to break a window if at any point we thought the child was in duress.

So, the firemen get there first and had a dickens of a time trying to get the doors open. I tell you, the attitude that they gave this woman, and their disdain, I was appalled. This was not a woman who left her child alone in 90degree weather to go play bingo. It was an honest mistake and she was already beside herself with worry, even though little boy is sitting in the car playing with toy on his lap oblivious to anything being wrong. I was so offended on her behalf by their treatment to her that I almost told them off, but just then they got the doors open.

That experience left me with two thoughts, 1.) always teach your children how to unbuckle themselves when they are old enough, and how to unlock the car door and 2.) that the compassion of human beings is waning when it comes to innocent mistakes by parents.

I hope to never make this mistake. For one, I have always made a practice of keeping my keys in my pocket. Not for kids' sake, but for safety. There used to be a show called Tough Target with Det JJ Bittenbinder of the Chicago Police. He recommended to always keep your car keys in your pocket. One, you can use them as a weapon, lacing them between fingers with keys facing out, and two, if someone tries to jack you, you can throw your purse away, the perp will go after the purse to get the keys, but you'll have time to get in the car and away safely.

I do not buy clothing without pockets. :-) I also keep my second set of keys in my winter coat pockets just in case. And Chubbs will learn how to unbuckle himself when he is old enough. It was a right of passage for the girls to learn how to buckle and unbuckle themselves. FD2 was so proud of herself when she did. FD1 would get so upset because we might have to wait 3-5 minutes for FD2 to buckle herself, but the smile that she got on her face when she did it, I can still see it today. :-) I love those girls.

[alys1]

First, to me, the 30-60 minutes late, consistently, does need to be reported directly to his supervisor/ the owner of the business he works for. They provide a service under contract, they need to know if one of their employees is that consistently off the mark.

Second, they need to be told if the guy is "stopping in stores". Probably the person is paid by the hour. If they're doing errands on company time, they're ripping off the company, the taxpayers, or both. Totally unacceptable. Gas stations, the same. Tank should be filled before or after work. Who among us says to the boss, "Oops, I have something to do right after work, gotta run fill the tank up, see you in about 30 minutes."

The job is not "Go do whatever you want with foster children in your car." It's "Pick up FC, take to XYZ for visit, take child back."

I'd be tempted to ask this question of the business owner (not a supervisor, not the CW who works for the State), "Is there a spot in your contract with the State that authorizes running errands while transporting foster children?" And, "Is there a line that authorizes leaving children alone in the car during errands?" Because I would be willing to bet that the transport company's license to transport is being jeopardized by this person's behavior.