[bookishmom]

Our 2 y/o foster son was in therapy before he was disrupted and placed with us. Since Monday (when he and his 3 y/o sister were placed with us) we have been held off or given excuses for why they can't get in to be seen. We finally have an appt for next Monday, but that's four days away and in the interim...

I'm a preschool teacher but I don't have experience with foster kids, and in this case I'm at a loss. The kids have major sibling rivalry issues - and I read another thread about sibling rivalry which had great ideas for conflict resolution - but the hardest thing is the temper tantrums. They last anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or more. By the time they've finished the tantrum, they don't remember any part of the original problem and quite honestly, I don't think they understand me when I'm talking to them about what happened, why it happened, and what we can do next time. I know it's only been four days, but if the next four go the same way as the last, I don't think my DH and I will make it.

Does anyone have advice on how to respond to prolonged temper tantrums? At this point we're just ignoring the tantrum, but I want there to be some sort of communication afterwards so that eventually we won't have to have 18 different hour-long tantrums a day. I know it will take time, but I just want to make sure that we're being as effective as possible. Hopefully we'll know more after meeting with the therapist... but in the meantime, we need help!

[skc515]

I have a kid who used to tantrum like that too.

The only thing that's worked out of EVERYTHING that's been suggested is to remove him to his room. And then we encourage him to throw a temper tantrum all he wants. But he has to do it in his room, and by himself. When he's done, we look forward to seeing him and playing again.

We've had yet to have one that goes past 10 minutes.

Also, really really trying to avoid all triggers.

Right now, you're probably also dealing with the trauma of being new, and the new surroundings.

[icehockey101]

STBAS was like that. Until we took away any attention. He had to tantrum in his room by himself. It really took the time down a lot. If it happened in public, we would remove him from the store or restaurant and take him outside. It worked best if we were both there so the other could stay with the other children. Once outside we would have him sit down and we would turn so our back/side was to him, but we could still keep him in the corner of our sight. It took awhile, but once he learned it woudln't get any attention they shortened dramatically.

[CaddoRose]

My now 4 yr old did that too. Sometimes still does. At 18 months she would scream, I mean glass breaking sounds screaming that could be heard outside. We started by putting her in her crib, which she was in for her own safety. If she was left out to tantrum she would break everything in sight including herself. It took over a year for her to get to the point where the tantrums were under an hour. They tantrum because they can't control their emotions or communicate well enough. They also tantrum because they are angry.Mine was angry at her situation and her lack of control. Control is a huge problem still. In all honesty, every under 4 yr old I've had, has had tantrums. If I tried to calm mine down, it just made it go longer and longer, and so I just left her to herself and her tantrum.We would always talk to her after she calmed down.