[hopefulandwatching]

Suffice it to say that the birth dad in our case is a scary person...and he's back in the picture, wanting visits...they start back up tomorrow. Just in time for them to have filed TPR...and just in time for our FS to have hit stranger anxiety in a BIG way...he hasn't seen birth dad since October...(got himself in some trouble and was hiding until the dust settled. The dust has only settled because the parties involved were too scared to press charges against him...) I know, I know...it's dad's right to have visits...it's just frustrating that we have to watch our little guy go through all of this when we know in the end, there is NO way they are going to RU baby with Dad...no chance...for multiple reasons. In fact, part of my upset is that I was really happy that he seemed to have lost interest, because frankly, I am afraid of him...I don't want him to follow a visit supervisor back to our house and figure out where we live...I don't want him to get ticked off because they have filed TPR..or worse, when they actually GRANT it...even the cw is scared...they have security all over the place when he is there for visitation...and they are going to send our little fragile 7 month old into a room with him, all in the name of his "rights". It all just seems so pointless! Baby won't remember him in days to come...but, the psychological damage done by this whole situation(including visits) will be with him forever...sigh...I know there are lots of kids facing way worse...just having a moment, I suppose. Thanks for listening...ok, vent over. =/

[Kezs]

If he is that bad, I would have the CW drop off the baby at a neutral place with you. Then you could make sure no one is following you before you get home.

Honestly, at 7 months the baby may not like the visits, may be scared of him, but he will never remember it. It will be harder on you to deal with him being in the stranger danger phase a little longer than it will be on him.

At least this will make TPR even easier because it will be documented that there is no bond. I normally would not say that because we have to be pro-RU until the TPR happens, but it really seems like Dad at least would not be the right placement for him.

[alys1]

H&W, tried to pm you, you're over quota. PM me when you clear some out.

[going2bparents]

I agree with Kezs. At this age, there won't be psychological damage. Good thing is your FS is only 7 months old. He won't have any idea what is going on. Just some stranger he has to put up with. It is going to be WAY more stressful on you. Sounds like you were preparing for TPR and adoption, and now this.

So let me tell you - I have been there. My boys were slam dunk adoption. No way were they going to be RU'd. Bios were out of the picture for 10 months. And when they were around, they hurt the boys. SW even recently said they are going to have to warn bio dad to keep boys safe from bio mom. And now we are staring RU in the face. So my advice to you is prepare for the judge to give the dad a chance. Because he is entitled to services. Until TPR is signed, anything can happen. My hope is everything will go smoothly. But I want you to be prepared so you aren't blind-sighted like I was. And this has happened twice to me now. Our little girl was an adoptive placement, and she has her fist overnight visit this weekend and will be home in a month now.

I hope it all works out the way you hope. And it still could. But just know that it could be dragged out. Best of luck to you. Keep us posted please! I have been following you and want to know how things turn out.