[onlyonepurpose]

Can anyone help?


I have noticed after 2 years that certain fp at our agency play this unspoken game with unspoken rules and as a result, they get away with doing and saying things that some of us others would lose our license for doing!! And they have great reputations, "can do no wrong" types...

Is this totally foreign to anyone?? Or can you relate to what I am saying..what ARE these rules?? Do you need to just be a shut-up and smile kind of person? Don't rock the boat?? Or is there something more that I need to know?

Any thoughts, suggestions or feedback would be appreciated.

[hopefulandwatching]

I have no idea...but, I'm going to be waiting with baited breath to hear what others have to say! I see the same thing, yet I feel like I am walking on eggshells to make sure we don't "do anything wrong" to upset the applecart...at the same time, I am going to advocate for him kiddos...it's not easy!

[skc515]

I think I'd fall along the lines of "That's life" regardless of whether you're talking about foster care or a job.

Some people just know how to work the system better. And you never know who's related to who, or who is dating who. You also don't know their history, including if they've taken harder to place children when no one else will. (This gives you unspoken perks in our area.)

I'm a rule follower, and it's served me well. I stay out of others business, and keep my nose on mine. It's served me pretty well.

If you start pointing out the differences, it could backfire hardcore.

[jmd5294]

Ditto the pp. You don't know their history.

If a foster family is

• in it to foster, but open to adoption
• accommodating to caseworkers and licensing workers
• open to transporting fks to visits
• willing to work closely with birth family
• presents their fks well (always clean, well groomed, well dressed)

Then they are definitely exempt from some of "the rules." Think about what caseworkers deal with on a regular basis--foster parents who are constantly complaining about them, bios who are constantly complaining to them, everyone expecting their case to take top priority.

And if a foster family takes harder to place kids or goes through a hell of a difficult case with grace, they can pretty much do no wrong for a while.

But stick around long enough, and eventually these fps will fall back into the "normal" category.

We were the golden fps for a while b/c we had kids for 14 months that had, hands down, the most difficult bios to work with that most cw had ever seen. Those kids went home over 3 years ago, and we enjoyed that "do no wrong" status for quite a while. I feel like we just got lumped back into the "normal" category pretty recently when we got pushy and demanded that they move an emergency placement.

It cycles. Try not to worry about it. Just be glad you're not one of the homes that nobody wants to place with.

[onlyonepurpose]

That's ridiculous. We are all those things that you mentioned!

We've also never broken any rules, and we never would, but I have seen those golden fp post pics of their fk on Facebook and nothing happened. I have seen them choose the adoptive parents of their placements without a fuss (and I have seen others attempt to do that and experience huge backlash)

there is something else there....

I refuse to walk around with brown all over my nose. I will fight until the cows come home for my foster children to get the very best while they are in my care, and I wouldn't hesitate to go over the head of any CW who isn't doing their job. My children are always loved and are my number one priority!

this system is really really messed up. My hats off to you FP who have been in it for upteen years...I may not last that long!