[stimulus]

My 10 FS was being raised my his grandparents although his mom had custody. He barely knows his biological father and doesn't want anything to do with him, but the CW says they will likely mandate some visits soon per dad's request.

I took my FS today to see his attorney so he could tell her what he wants regarding his father ("He needs to stay out of my life" has been his continual refrain.) Anyone BTDT with a kid this old who is forced to do some visits? They are going to be therapeutic visits, involving his counselor, which is good considering my FS' anger management issues. Does anyone have any other advice?

[skc515]

They cannot "force" him to do visits. They have to schedule them, and even offer them, but they cannot force him into a car.

His lawyer can *try* to argue it's not in his best interests, but it won't likely stop them.

IMO the therapeutic visits are a good start if he has a good relationship with the counselor.

[rmsept81]

We have a 10 year old who recently refused to go to visits. Judge ordered she go. We can't physically force her into the car but we are supposed to strongly encourage.

This being said having the therapist there may be able to help him navigate and process some of the anger. And even if he doesn't get custody or anything it's an important opportunity to start healing some of the hurt or at the very minimum confronting him. May not be important now but down the road it could be vital.

[stimulus]

They cannot "force" him to do visits. They have to schedule them, and even offer them, but they cannot force him into a car.

Right - they just try to "force" me to "force" him into the car. Just because it isn't physical force doesn't mean the force of law isn't behind it... The CW said my FS will likely "throw a fit" over the visits but they still plan to have them.

IMO the therapeutic visits are a good start if he has a good relationship with the counselor.

He does, and that gives me a lot of comfort in the situation. She was his counselor before he was removed from his home, for more than a year now.

What is a therapeutic visit?

[stimulus]

This being said having the therapist there may be able to help him navigate and process some of the anger. And even if he doesn't get custody or anything it's an important opportunity to start healing some of the hurt or at the very minimum confronting him. May not be important now but down the road it could be vital.

I agree it could be important for him to either develop a relationship with his father or confront the issues that prevent a relationship so he can heal.

But, the poor kid. As soon as I told him the guy was indeed his father (after a paternity test confirmed it), he immediately made negative comments about himself. He said he wouldn't place at his upcoming wrestling tournament (after weeks of placing 1st) because he "isn't good at anything" and is "bad." It may not be his father's fault that just thinking of him makes him feel so bad about himself, but wow... poor kid!