[Emmesmom]

Help, Little V is 17 months old. She is now hitting, pulling hair and scratching both at day care and at home. I've tried removing her and redirecting her and telling her "Gentle Touches." I've even placed her on a chair in the living room (with us) and said "We don't hit." She actually puts her head down like she is shamed, but has a little grin on her face!!! She was exposed to alot during pregnacy, but only tested positive for cocaine at birth. Any suggestions?

[dizzilee]

This is very normal behavior for a 17 month old. Just stay consistent and calm as you redirect her. Also, really keep an eye out for anytime that she does behave in a gentle way and be sure you are giving a lot more attention and positive feedback in those moments. You want to "catch" her being good!

At the same time you can be modeling words for her to use in situations where she is using aggressive behavior to assert herself. For example, is she scratching another child because they grabbed the toy she is using? As you intervene you can say something like, "Gentle. Tell X 'my turn!' or 'I'm using it!' " Even if she can't say the words herself you are at least showing her that there are better, safer ways to assert herself.

[Kezs]

It's completely normal. They want things, can't ask, and only have the ability to take it by force. They will outgrow it. Just be greatful she isn't biting. I have a nice bruise from a week ago where Squirt got me on my hand, and I don't know how many times I have had to document bruises on the kids from him.

All you can do is redirect, try to talk to her, watch her, and praise her when she does good. We also give very, very short time outs and they have worked wonders. Squirt hates to sit there and miss out on something fun!

[amedinaoh]

My 18 month old is going through the same thing at daycare. She is also pinching. I guess it is typical but it does bother me that I am not there to do anything about it. I want to put a hold on this behavior right away. I just hope they know she is not learning it in the home. I think most childcare workers understand this.